


Golden Waltz

by evanspotter



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Skating, Enemies to Partners to Lovers, F/M, figure skating AU, ice dance, just google virtue and moir
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:21:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 80,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22471741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evanspotter/pseuds/evanspotter
Summary: Lily Evans wants to be the best ice dancer in the world, which means she needs to find a dance partner ASAP. After two failed partnerships, her coach gives her one last option: James Potter.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Comments: 154
Kudos: 141
Collections: James and Lily Fanfics





	1. Just Give It a Try

_Today is going to be a good day,_ were Lily's first thoughts as she stepped into the rink at 7 am on the dot.

There were many reasons why Lily believed this at the moment: (1) She'd managed to wake up on time for once, (2) She was seeing her friends for the first time in weeks today, (3) Petunia had managed not to sneer at her during breakfast, (4) she was having a tryout with a guy today and he seemed like a really promising partner.

And to top it all off, it seemed like most people were running late, so the ice was nearly empty when she stepped onto it.

Lily took a deep breath as she let her blades carry her through the long axis of the rink. The cold air in her lungs felt like home. Oh, she'd missed this, even if it had only been a couple of weeks she'd been away.

Her family vacation to the Canary Islands had been hot and humid and stressful; the complete opposite of what being on the ice felt like. Holidays were supposed to be for relaxation, but her sister would never allow that, even when Petunia wasn't around, Lily had felt her presence hovering, as she knew how to do.

But here she felt free; it was her little world. Petunia had never set foot in this place, and her negative vibes couldn't penetrate the walls.

Lily focused on the steps of the Argentine Tango, it was a little awkward doing it by herself, but after months partnerless she'd gotten used to it. Hopefully, that would change today.

Paul Macmillan was a boy a year older than her, whom she had seen around in competitions before and had a few friends in common with her. Up until July, he had been skating at a different rink with a girl who Lily didn't know well, but they had fallen out for some reason and decided to end their partnership.

Lily's coach, Minerva, had arranged the tryout between her and Paul. Lily had texted with him a little, to test the waters, see if he seemed like the kind of partner Lily wanted; talented, focused, hard-working, determined. So far, he seemed like all of that and more, the only thing left to do now was try and skate together, see how they _fit_. But other than that, it felt like a pretty done deal.

"LILY!"

Lily came to a stop and looked up to see Mary and Melanie calling to her from the boards. Her face broke out into a huge grin.

She quickly skated over to them, and enveloped them both in a bear hug; she'd missed seeing her beautiful friends' faces every day. "Oh my god, I'm so happy to see you guys."

Mary hopped up and down in excitement. "Us too! We've got so much to tell you."

Lily let Mary go so she could get a better look at her. "Yeah, no shit, you got box braids! Why was I not informed of this executive decision?"

Melanie pulled her dark hair out of her face as Lily released her. "She literally just showed up like this one day, didn't bother saying anything, and told us not to tell you because she wanted to surprise you."

Mary flicked her hair back and did a little pose to show off her hairstyle. "Well, I think the do speaks for itself."

Melanie rolled her eyes and took Mary's hand. "We gotta put our skates on, come with, Lily."

Lily put on her skate guards and walked over to the stands with her friends.

"Your tryout with Paul is today, right?" Melanie asked.

Lily nodded, a slight smile on her face.

"You excited?"

"Honestly, yeah."

Melanie grinned at Lily and squeezed her hand. "My baby's finally gonna be partnered up again."

"Although, if same-sex partnerships were allowed, I would've ditched Thomas for you years ago." Mary put in.

"And if you did pairs, I would drop Sirius in a heartbeat to skate with you."

Mary sighed. "If only the ISU weren't cowards, our lives would be so much easier." She'd never badmouth the International Skating Union in front of their coach though, Minerva tolerated no cheek.

Lily laughed; she didn't know how she'd survived the previous three weeks without her friends.

"Excuse me, girls."

Lily turned around, immediately recognising that voice, and threw her arms around her coach. "Minerva! I'm so happy to see you."

Minerva patted Lily on the back. "I'm glad to see you too. When you girls are done, can you meet me in my office?" Minerva looked pointedly at Mary and Melanie. "Sooner rather than later."

Lily's friends smiled innocently. "Of course, you'll have her in a minute, we promise!" Melanie assured their coach.

Minerva gave the girls a knowing look and walked away.

Lily tried to listen to her friends and answer all the questions they had about her vacation, but she was very curious as to what Minerva wanted to talk to her about. She figured it was something to do with Paul coming in for a tryout later. Was he coming later than he said? Earlier? Was he postponing? Or worse, had he changed his mind?

"Lily," Mary called her attention. "You can go talk to Minnie. We know you're dying."

Lily smiled at her friends. "Thanks, babes, I'll be right back." She said in one breath.

Lily tried not to run any more scenarios in her head because she knew the more she did, the more catastrophic they'd get, and she wasn't going to let anything, not even her thoughts, ruin this day. She needed this. She needed Paul, she needed _a_ partner. Now.

She still remembered the day John had ditched her as if it had been yesterday. It had been the week after they'd placed 5th at the Junior Grand Prix Final; Lily had been pretty pleased with the result, they'd gotten a new personal best score and the fact that they had been one of the six ice dance couples to make it to the final was good enough for Lily. But John had been livid. Once they'd gotten home to London, he had blown a gasket on Lily, told her she wasn't good enough for him, that she was a lousy partner and would never be able to get him the results he wanted. Then, just like that, he had ended their partnership and walked away from her.

But the worst thing for Lily had been that she just stood there as John put all their failures on her, as he deemed her not good enough. She just stood there in shock, not knowing what to say. She knew John had always placed their shortcomings a little bit more on her than himself and had always pushed _her_ to work harder. But she honestly hadn't seen the day he just burst.

She often imagined what she could've said to him then, because oh there had been so much she wanted to say. She told herself she'd say all those things to his face one day, but the truth was that she hadn't seen him since that day, since he'd switched coaches and moved to a completely different city, and if she confronted him, she was scared she'd freeze again. So she just stayed quiet for now.

Lily was especially desperate to get a new partner for a few reasons — apart from the fact that she, well, needed one to compete — Firstly, she wanted to show John that she did _not_ need him to be successful, since he'd made it quite clear that he thought she would never succeed without him; second, her plans for how her first senior season was meant to go were tragically off course.

Most top skaters would do about five international competitions per season if they were in good health. First, they would do a Challenger Series event, which was a small competition with a narrow field, only very few skaters would skip it. Most Challenger events took place at the beginning of the season in September and October. Challengers were events to test the waters, to show your programs for the season, to show the judges the condition you were in, to take constructive criticism. Then there was the Grand Prix Series, which was an invitational event, the requisites for an invitation were world standings and placement at the previous seasons' World Championships. Most skaters would get two assignments, and some would get one. Depending on your placement at these events, skaters could qualify for the Grand Prix Final held in early December, and get a cash prize depending on their placement at the said final.

Then during the second half of the season, the continental and then world championships would take place. Usually, somewhere between the first and second halves of the season, national championships would take place, most big skating federations –such as Russia, the USA, Japan, Canada– would have their championships between December and January. At Nationals, it was also where each federation would decide which skaters to send to international championships.

The European Championships took place in late January, and the Four Continents Championships – the four continents being Asia, the Americas, Oceania, and Africa – took place after the Europeans, in February. The biggest and most important event of the season would be the World Championships, held between late March and early April, which was also (usually) the last event of the season.

This was the season of well-established senior skaters, but for most of the not-quite-there-yet skaters and just-out-of-Juniors skaters, things would sometimes be a little different because of many reasons. Lily liked to plan ahead, so at the beginning of the last season, she had made a plan detailing what _this_ season would ideally be like for her and John. She was supposed to do at least two smaller B competitions, including one Challenger, get at least one Grand Prix assignment, medal at Senior Nationals and make the European and World Championships teams. The Grand Prix was not gonna happen at this point, but if she got a partner right now, she could still make a late Challenger and Nationals. And she was _going_ to.

That's what she told herself when she went into Minerva's office. She _was_ going to win a medal at Nationals, and she _was_ going to _earn_ those Championship spots.

Lily's stomach dropped as soon as she saw the expression on Minerva's face. She was looking at Lily with a certain tenderness in her eyes, which could only mean bad news. Lily immediately tensed.

"Please, take a seat, Lily."

Lily slowly sat down on one of the famously uncomfortable chairs facing Minerva. She waited for her coach to speak.

"Alright, I will just come out and say it. Miranda Abbott called me yesterday." Paul's coach. "She said that they have decided to go in a different direction."

Lily felt like she had just been stabbed by a thousand tiny daggers. She felt her throat close up and tears sting at her eyes, but dear god she would not let them fall.

_How dare he?_ _How dare that talentless, backstabbing, cowardly rat decide to go in a_ different direction _? She was a Junior Grand Prix Finalist! She was a two time Junior National Champion! She_ had _her career!_ He _didn't! He_ wanted _what she_ had _!_

Honestly, it wasn't even Paul that she was upset about, he was a lousy skater who would need a long time to catch up to her. But next week would mark nine months without a partner, and at this point, Paul was the only ice dancer in all of Britain who she could've partner up with. Was she going to have to partner with a foreign skater? She hadn't even thought about that. Was she going to have to put down 'willing to relocate' on her ice dance partner search profile? She felt like she was going to throw up.

"But please do not worry, Lily. I happen to have another potential partner lined up for you."

Lily did a double-take. "What? Who? From which rink?"

Minerva waved a hand. "Slow down, you have to have a tryout first, and he's from right here, from this rink. I actually thought of you for him weeks ago when he became available, but you were lined up with Paul, so I left it alone. To tell you the truth, though, I believe he's a far better match for you than Paul."

Lily tried to go through every available male ice dancer she shared a rink with but came up empty as to who it could be. Unless... Minerva wouldn't think of matching her with a _singles_ skater? _Dear god_. "Can you just tell me who it is? I'm dying over here."

Just as Minerva opened her mouth to reply, there was a knock on the door, and Potter's nosey head poked in.

Lily's patience was wearing thin. "I'm sorry. Potter, we're in the middle of a conversation here." Her tone was sharp.

Here Lily would have expected a smirk and/or a witty remark from Potter to take place, but to her surprise, he remained impassive. "I was told Minerva wanted to see me."

Lily was about to retort when Minerva spoke up. "Yes. Please, James, take a seat."

James sat next to Lily without another word. Something seemed off with him.

"Lily," Minerva started in a firm but gentle tone. "I've already talked about this with James, and he's already agreed to it. And I know that you two are not the greatest of friends, but you are both extremely talented skaters, and dare I say, two of the most talented ice dancers Britain has seen in a long time."

Oh no. Lily did not like where this was going. Nope. Oh, hell no. This was not happening. No no no no no no no.

"I think that together, the two of you would be a force to be reckoned with. So, what do you say? Will you give it a try?"

Every instinct in Lily's body was telling her to just yell out no. But she didn't. She waited.

Lily gaped at her coach. "Are you - are you serious?"

"Quite serious."

Lily looked at James, he had a slight smile on his face but didn't give out much from his expression. Lily scoffed. "Did Catherine finally get tired of hauling your big head around the ice?"

Now that Lily thought about it, she hadn't seen James's partner since she'd gone on holiday about three weeks before Lily went on hers. And if she'd been gone since then, that would mean she'd been gone for almost two months. What in the hell had happened with her?

James's smile immediately dropped at Lily's comment. A gloomy look overtook his eyes. Had they had a fallout? "Her father got a job in Scotland, she's going with, she's going to try and find a partner there."

Lily nodded slowly. That seemed... weird.

James quickly diverted the subject. "So, d'you want to give it a go? I'm in if you're in."

Lily could barely contain the giggle that was threatening to escape her mouth. This situation was just too bizarre not to be funny. "I'm sorry, but, Minerva, if I find him pretty insufferable as it is, I really don't want to find out how insufferable I'll find him if we have to spend pretty much every waking hour of the day together."

Minerva seemed disappointed with Lily's response, which pained Lily, but what could she do? Agree? "Alright, how about you sleep on it before making any definite decisions, we can talk about this again tomorrow. You can go."

James needn't be told twice, he got up and left faster than Lily could react.

As Lily reached the door, Minerva spoke one last time. "And Lily, please _really_ think about it."

* * *

"Can you believe it? Me and James? Partners! I genuinely don't know what Minnie was thinking." Lily ranted to her friends as they walked the short distance from the tube station to Yuna's house.

All four girls had their skate bags hanging from their shoulders. Their exhaustion after a three-hour session was palpable.

Yuna's house was a sort of meeting place for them, and for pretty much everyone from Minerva's group. Perhaps, it was better to clarify that this wasn't actually Yuna's house, it was the Lupins' place, they'd taken Yuna in when she'd moved from Osaka to London after partnering up with Remus less than a year ago.

Lily still remembered back when Yuna had just moved to England. Her English had been pretty limited, and she knew absolutely no one. So, Melanie, Mary, and Lily had taken it upon themselves to take her under their wing. It'd taken a while for Yuna to warm up to them, and get comfortable in a completely new environment, but she had finally started viewing London as a second home.

Mary had taken a special protectiveness towards Yuna, being the only one out of her friends who had also moved to London by herself (only from not from somewhere as far as Japan, but from Newcastle).

Lily was sure Remus's mother was a saint. She'd made it clear since they were kids, that they were always welcome at her home, and to this day, she was still there with a warm meal, a warm hug, or a friendly chat whenever they needed it. Most of the time, it was their go-to for lunch, since the house was so close to the rink, and Mrs. Lupin's food was amazing.

As expected, all four girls were greeted with hugs as Yuna unlocked the door to the house.  
They all took their shoes off and exchanged pleasantries with Mrs. Lupin before being invited into the dining room for a meal.

"Can you believe it? Me and James skate together! I've no idea what Minerva was thinking." Lily complained as she kind of aggressively stabbed at the plate full of food in front of her.

Her friends' silence seemed suspicious.

Mary avoided Lily's eyes. "Uh-huh."

Lily frowned. "What? _What_?"

"Well, it did seem a little crazy when you first said it, because it would seem impossible for you to skate together without you killing James at any given time. But the more I think about it, the more sense it makes. I mean, you're both superb skaters, I actually think it would be a crime for you guys to deprive the world of your combined power as a couple." Mary explained.

Lily stared at her friend in shock and a little disgust. Was she serious right now?

She looked to Yuna and Melanie, who were each seated at one of her sides. But they didn't seem too keen on arguing with Mary's logic.

Yuna seemed to catch on to Lily's expectation for a response. "I have no idea what you're so against, Lily. I think you and James would make a great match."

Lily's frown deepened. "But – but I can't stand him, Yuna."

Yuna shrugged. "It's just business. And you can learn to get along."

Was everyone in her life determined she skate with James now?

Lily turned to Melanie in frustration. "Aren't you going to side with me?"

Melanie sighed. "I do see why you think it wouldn't work."

"Thank you!"

"But – I also think you shouldn't knock it till you've tried it."

Lily scoffed and leaned back on her chair. She then proceeded to finish the food on her plate in record time. She couldn't help it, she stress ate.

She got up and brought her empty dish to the kitchen. As she rinsed off her plate, she heard the front door open. Then she heard footsteps into the dining room and a voice that could only be Yuna's say, "Remy-kun!"

Lily froze. What was Remus doing here? She thought the boys weren't coming back here for lunch, she'd asked the girls to make sure they weren't coming here, she could not deal with James right now.

Lily approached the dining room just enough to hear what was going on better but not be seen.

Yuna was spouting some rapid-fire Japanese at Remus. Lily wished she understood anything of what Yuna was saying, but after a year hearing her speak it, she had learned pretty much nothing. She just barely caught a 'Lily-chan' amid Yuna's bit. What was she saying about her?

Luckily Remus replied in English since he was quite self-conscious about his Japanese and refused to speak it in front of anyone but his mum and Yuna. "I know! I'm sorry, I just ran ahead to warn you guys! Where's Lily?"

That's when Lily decided to walk into the room. "Is James coming?"

Remus nodded.

Her friends must have sensed her discomfort because Yuna immediately got up and grabbed Lily's arm. "Let's go to my room."

"We'll keep him busy down here, try to run him off," Mary reassured.

Lily nodded absentmindedly and let Yuna lead her away.

Lily loved Yuna's room. There was something about the way it was organised that made her feel so relaxed and at ease. Lily wished she could have a bedroom as minimalistic and clutter-free as this, but sadly, she was a bit of a hoarder.

Lily sat on the side of Yuna's bed, but almost immediately laid down on it out of tiredness.

Yuna sat next to her quietly.

Lily rubbed her temples and closed her eyes for a few seconds. She then turned to look at her friend, who had sat back on the bed. Lily could tell Yuna wanted to say something, but she knew Yuna wouldn't try to impose her opinion without being asked, so Lily prompted her. "What d'ya think?"

Yuna sighed. "Well, the thing is, I do understand your point of view, but I'm not going to lie, it does frustrate me a little bit that you aren't even willing to try with James. I know that you know what it's like to be partnerless, but you've been partner-less for eight months, I was partner-less for over a year, and if a skater half as talented as James, who is Junior Grand Prix Final champion, had agreed to partner up with me eight months out, I would have jumped at the chance."

Lily looked away from her friend, she didn't want to respond to that, because in a way, she knew Yuna was right. Objectively, James was by far the best option out of everyone she had considered, and she should very seriously consider his offer. Even if she didn't want to admit it.

Lily froze as she heard a knock on the door. She felt Yuna get up to open the door. She heard the door open a little and a brief hushed conversation. She didn't sit up to understand better.

The door shut again.

"He says he wants to talk for two minutes, and promises he won't say anything obnoxious."

Lily sighed. "Fine." She sat up.

All too soon, Yuna was gone, and James's lanky frame was walking through the doorway.

"Two minutes." Lily declared.

James took a deep breath. "I know that you don't think this is a good idea, but you are objectively a great skater, and it would be a great privilege to skate with you. I wouldn't like to miss this opportunity just because of some dumb shit I've done in the past. I swear to you I will take this with the utmost seriousness, and if you want to stop at any point, that's fine by me. But please, let's at least have a tryout, see if we're any good together, then you can make your decision. And I'll accept whatever choice you make."

Lily sighed deeply. This was the most frustrating day of her life. The more people told her she should give James a chance, the more she found herself agreeing, but there was still a little voice in her head telling her to be wary, think of all the shit he's done.

James was very calm today for whatever reason, which was weird. If Lily could get some kind of insurance that he'd be this calm every day, she probably would've agreed to a tryout already. But she knew this wasn't every day James, every day James was annoying, rude, irresponsible, a troublemaker, rude, egocentric.

'And an insanely skilled skater' a little voice Lily wanted to yell at to shut up finished her sentence.

She could not possibly turn this around in her head anymore, or it was going to explode.

Oh well. "Fine. We'll try out."


	2. Third Time's The Charm

"Lily, could you at least _try_ not to look like you're being walked to the electric chair?" Mary rolled her eyes at her friend.

"I'm trying my best." Lily huffed.

Mary took Lily's hand and dragged her the last couple of metres to the entrance to the ice.

Lily could see James already on the ice stroking and doing a few crossovers. She suddenly wanted to throw up. She wasn't sure if it was because of the thought of dancing with him, or because even she couldn't deny just how incredibly neat his edgework was.

Minerva skated over to Lily. "Lily, I'm glad you're finally here. Let's go get James."

Lily threw one last mournful look at Mary and let Minerva lead her away.

Before they reached James, Minerva took Lily's arm and whispered to her, "I'm proud of you for giving him a chance."

Lily tried to smile but couldn't quite pull it off. She really didn't want to disappoint her coach.

Lily dared a brief look at James, who smirked at her. Oh, she was already regretting this.

"Let's get started with a Silver Samba since you're both quite familiar with that pattern from last season. I'll get the music started, and both of you do a few crossovers in Kilian hold until the music starts."

Lily took a deep breath. This was it; she was going to try and skate with James, someone she'd never in a million years considered skating with. Someone, she didn't even remotely like — someone who had tormented her for years.

She'd already considered the fact that she was going to have to touch him and let _him_ touch her. She'd pored over this last night, and came to the conclusion that this was all merely professional and as long as he kept it that way, she would too.

So, as Minerva skated away, Lily looked at James but didn't make a move to get into hold. She wasn't quite sure how to go about this, but James quickly held out his left hand and extended his right arm – where she should go.

Lily rolled her shoulders to relax and slowly approached James. She stood to James's right, reached over his chest, and gingerly placed her hand on his. James took this as a sign to finally let his other arm touch her back and put his hand on her hip. A chill ran down Lily's spine. _What the fuck_. She wanted to get out of his hold as soon as he touched her but refrained. She wished this could be an open Kilian hold, but she'd never defied Minerva's instructions, so she finally placed her free hand on James's.

She felt like her skin burnt where James touched her, even though there were about four layers of clothes between them (which gave a little comfort to Lily).

She cleared her throat. "Let's go then."

They stroked for a little bit, finding their edges, in what Lily considered a decent unison. She tried to concentrate on the skating, but she caught her friends' eyes a few times, all of them were smiling knowingly at her, which infuriated her.

Lily and James had barely completed a couple of crossovers when the samba music started. Lily immediately jumped out of James's arms, and she needed a little break of being in such proximity to him for a whole of three minutes.

Suddenly Lily remembered that James and Catherine had only missed two key points in the Silver Samba in the entire previous season; she and John had missed nine. And yes, she had indeed spent the last night poring over every single one of James's protocols — his detailed results — that were available to her.

The song Minerva had put on was Sympathy for the Devil, which Lily had wanted to skate to for the Short Dance last season but had been thoroughly refused by John since he thought the judges would prefer something more 'traditional.' Lily knew Minerva had put it on so she'd be in better spirits, and honestly, it was working a little bit.

Lily went back into hold with James, a little less reluctant this time. They caught the beat of the song and got started. For the first section of the pattern, Lily tried hard to focus on hitting her key points and keeping her knee bend stable, but as they went into the second section, she started relaxing a bit more.

She had wanted to skate to this song last season because it was a song you couldn't help but want to dance to, and not just dance, perform.

James was hitting all his key points scarily easy, and her key points were alright.

She had no idea if it was because of the music or something else, but she was feeling pretty good about their pattern. She hadn't even realised how fast they were going until they almost ran Mary over, who got out of the way just in time.

As they finished the second section, Lily saw Minerva out of the corner of her eye, with the biggest smile on her face. Her stomach dropped.

She looked at James, with whom she'd tried to avoid eye contact with for most of the pattern.

He smirked at her. "Not bad, Evans."

She wanted to give a snarky reply so bad, but she managed to keep herself in check. She _would_ be the bigger person here.

Minerva gave a few more instructions for some elements, which, luckily for Lily, did not require much touching. Then she said something that Lily was not expecting.

"Maybe you're ready to try a simple lift."

Lily's heart skipped a beat. She looked at her coach with wide eyes, incredulous. What was happening?

"Lily, just let James carry you a bit so that he can get used to your weight," Minerva instructed.

Lily tried incredibly hard to stop a blush from spreading on her cheeks. She knew that Catherine was much thinner than her, having a lighter frame, being about six inches shorter than Lily. Lily knew Minerva meant nothing by mentioning weight, but Lily did not want to have that discussion with James, even if they did become partners, she refused to discuss her weight with him.

Lily took a deep breath as James approached her from behind. He wrapped an arm around Lily's torso and picked up her legs with his other arm, Lily's breath caught, she hoped he wouldn't notice.

James carried Lily around the ice bridal style for a little bit. Lily realised she'd been holding her breath. She couldn't help being all too aware of how close her face was to James's, she didn't know where to look. After staring at James's sharp jawbone for a few seconds too long, she settled on looking at the other skaters on the ice.

"You comfy?" James asked.

Lily turned back to look at him, she'd almost been able to ignore the fact that it was James Potter carrying her for a second, but alas. "As long as you don't drop me."

On cue, James loosened his arms slightly, let go of her slightly just to catch her again in a second.

Lily let out a yelp, her stomach dropped. "Don't. Do. That."

James chuckled at her reaction. Lily then realised that she'd latched onto his shoulder like a koala in the second she'd thought she was about to hit the ice. She loosened her grip.

James came to a stop and started spinning slowly on the spot. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing! I'm literally stationary on the ice."

Lily rolled her eyes. Was she really gonna have to deal with this 24/7?

Before Lily could voice her witty reply, Minerva appeared beside them, and thankfully, James put her down. "Since you seem comfortable enough, you could try a more difficult position, are you up for that, Lily?"

Lily told herself to stay calm and gave a few instructions to James. As they skated over to a less crowded spot, Lily started to regret going for a lift that required a lot of flexibility, which she had, but not at the level that Catherine did. It was too late now, though.

Lily put her hand on James's shoulder, readying herself to be hoisted into his arms, she looked James in the eye for the first time that day, looking for some sort of reassurance, which she knew was stupid. James looked at her softly and nodded firmly. Lily released the breath she'd been holding.

James placed an arm firmly around Lily's waist, Lily was all too aware of the fact that his hand was so big it almost covered her entire abdomen, especially since he held on very tightly, which made Lily slightly uncomfortable, but it was either that or hitting the ice.

James lifted her about a foot off the ground and started spinning on the spot slowly as Lily opened her legs into a split. He helped her with her position by slightly pulling on the calf of her front leg.

Lily focused on maintaining her position as well as she could while James spun a little faster before finally putting her down. Lily's first thoughts as her blades hit the ice again were, _oh, that wasn't so bad_ , which was the most surprising thing that had happened up to that point.

* * *

Libertango was playing when Lily walked into the rink that afternoon. She couldn't help the scowl that overcame her features. Libertango had been the music she and John had used for their free dance the previous season, it only reminded her now only of their last skate together at the Junior Grand Prix Final, it hadn't been great.

She tried to ignore the music and headed over to the locker room. Mary wasn't there yet. She and Lily were supposed to be teaching skating lessons for a couple of hours before their own training sessions, both of them could use the extra cash.

Lily put away her things and started to lace up her skates. She couldn't stop thinking about John now, she'd been telling herself for months that it was best they go their own ways, especially after everything he'd said to her, but sometimes there was a tiny voice in her head that told her that if John came back, she would take him back. Hell, she'd take Severus back if he wanted at this point. She'd recently sat down with her therapist to analyse these thoughts and came to the conclusion that what she wanted was familiarity, she didn't want to get to know yet another new partner, get into unison with someone, it had been hard enough the first time. She wanted someone she knew as well as Severus or even John with whom she'd been with for less than a year, someone who could anticipate her moves and match their body lines perfectly, but sadly the only people she had that with were massive arseholes. She really could pick them, couldn't she?

She wished she was one of those (few) skaters who stuck with the same partner since they were children, she had really thought she had that with Severus, they were together for almost eight years. Then they had fallen out, and the moment Severus had said those horrible things to her, she knew she'd never skate with him again. She didn't like to think about that, though. It hadn't taken her very long to find John, she had almost been infatuated with him back then, though now that she thought about it, she'd been more obsessed with his skating than anything else. He was fast, and his toned physique allowed them to do far more acrobatic lifts than she ever did with Severus. John was also much better at emoting and at choreography than Severus ever was. She'd been so happy to be with him in the first few months, but then he'd started getting angry at her for everything and blaming her for their shortcomings. If he hadn't ended the partnership, Lily probably would've, though it would have taken longer.

As she thought back to what it felt like to skate with John, she couldn't stop comparing him to James now. It was evident that James was the better skater; he had incredible control of his edges, and speed and flow beyond his years.

Lily thought back to the conversation she'd had with her mother the previous night. After Lily had dumped all of her issues with James on her, her mother had told her that it all boiled down to a simple question: did she think she'd grow to be as comfortable skating with James as she had been with Severus or even John?

Lily thought back to how she'd felt when she'd been in James's arms, how his grip on her waist felt, how his long fingers pressed against her side. An unwelcome shiver ran down her spine.

Lily finished tying up her skates, replaced her soakers with guards, and stepped out of the locker room with a confidence in her step.

As she walked into the main rink, her eyes quickly scanned the place before her gaze settled on him.

Remus and Sirius flanked James, he was laughing at something or other, his laughter almost filled the rink, but he didn't seem to notice. Lily shook her head as she realised Sirius didn't even have his skates on yet. She had no idea how Melanie dealt with him.

Lily stood a few feet in front of the boys, her arms crossed over her chest. Remus and Sirius took one look at her and bid farewell, and good luck to their friend.

James approached Lily. "Hey, what's up, Lils?"

Lily cringed. "Don't call me that." She sighed and rubbed her temple. "I've given it a lot of thought, and... I'll do it."

James smiled cheekily. "Do what, Lils?"

Lily scoffed under her breath. "Are you seriously going to make me say it?"

"Say what?"

"I will be your skating partner, Potter." Lily tried not to gag as she spoke.

James's eyes lit up. He was about to open his mouth when Lily raised a finger to stop him. "With a few conditions."

James's smile did not dim. He nodded at her to go on.

"First, you have to promise to be professional at all times and not to rile me up or be obnoxious when we're together. Second, we will set a list of goals for the season, and we will both put the same amount of work into achieving said goals. Third, at the end of the season, we will review our performance, and decide if we should stay together. Lastly, this does not mean that we are friends, this is a professional partnership, so treat it as such." Lily said seriously.

"Okay," James counted off with his fingers. "Can I be obnoxious outside of our skating affairs? Yes. As you wish. And it's too late, we're already friends, Lilyflower."

"We're also adding not calling me any ridiculous pet names to the list."

James grinned. "Too late, it's done. I'm gonna go tell Minnie you said yes!" He ran off before Lily could say something else.


	3. Marina Zoueva Programs Are Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If any vmies stumble upon this fic, that title reference is for u.

By the end of the first week, Lily was ready to tear her hair out. Spending such an outrageous amount of time with James had not been as bad as she'd expected, which wasn't much to say since she'd been expecting it to be absolutely horrible.

They had been practicing the Ravensburger Waltz – the assigned dance pattern for the season – for the past few days, but it had not been going very well. Lily was not very fond of that pattern dance, and her and James's movements were still kind of clumsy and laboured, which was to be expected of such a new team, but it still frustrated Lily.

Just during that morning practice, Lily had stopped in the middle of the pattern and yelled at James for doing his double twizzle a beat too late. Later, she had actually felt bad about it, she blamed it on sleep deprivation. She'd been taking shifts at the diner almost every night that week to save up more money for costumes and travel expenses. James and Catherine had always worn lovely costumes, and tended to change them midseason occasionally, which Lily could _not_ afford. And she was absolutely not having the conversation about why they couldn't get nice costumes with James. So, she resolved to start saving up now.

Grabbing shifts at the diner meant she did not have a spare second in the entire day. She left her house at 4:30 in the morning and wouldn't return until midnight. Usually, she tried to space out her shifts to only two or three a week. That way, she had time to breathe a few times.

Now that she had taken a much-needed nap, she realised how insane she must have seemed that morning. She had an image of Malcolm – Minerva's brother, Lily and James's co-coach – looking at her as if she was a wild animal while she yelled at James. Lily blushed at the thought, she usually would never do something like that in front of one of her coaches. She only hoped Malcolm hadn't told Minerva, because she wasn't as forgiving as her brother.

Lily heard the door open.

"Lily! Come on, get up, Minerva's here!" It was Mary.

Lily's eyes widened. "What time is it?"

"Five past three."

Lily got up quickly. "How'd you know I was here?"

"Dumbledore told me to make sure you woke up on time after he left you here."

Dumbledore was the nice old man who ran the rink. He was also the man who paid Lily more than he should for teaching learn to skate lessons every other day before her evening training session. He'd taken one look at her that day and insisted she forgo the lessons that day and go take a nap in his office. Lily had refused at first, and the fact that he said he'd still pay her for the day didn't make things much better, but Dumbledore had stood his ground, so she slept.

Now Lily followed Mary out into the main rink, she saw Minerva talking to James with a stern look on her face. Lily picked up her pace.

Minerva turned to look at Lily as she approached. The woman had a serious look on her face, more so than usual, Lily shrank internally.

Minerva glanced down at Lily's feet. "Where are your skates?"

Lily let out a tiny gasp. She face-palmed internally. "I'm sorry, I was distracted."

"Well, I was just telling James we will be changing our approach to the Ravensburger Waltz. You will do crossovers in whichever hold I instruct, and occasionally I will tell you a pattern dance, and you will perform each section of it twice." Minerva instructed.

Lily's eyes widened. Was Minerva serious? That sounded... intense. Lily was pretty sure she didn't remember every single step of every pattern dance off the top of her head. Why hadn't Minerva warned them yesterday?

"Now go put on your skates, you will be starting with a foxtrot hold." Minerva's tone was final.

Lily and James had spent twenty minutes doing crossovers, and Lily was starting to feel pretty stupid. Everyone else was doing lifts, and twizzles, and step sequences, and here she was stuck doing crossovers with James as if she'd just started learning to ice dance last week. She and James hadn't spoken much as Lily was trying to remember the steps to every single pattern dance she could think of.

As Mary and Tom's free dance music faded out, Minerva yelled out, "Lily, James, Dutch Waltz."

Lily heard a muffled snort coming from Mary, who was doing some choreographic steps a few metres away from where Lily was standing. Lily's eye twitched involuntarily. Had her coach– had her coach just ask her to dance to one of the easiest patterns in ice dance? One that eight-year-olds did?

James took Lily's hand. "Come on, the music's starting."

Lily and James skated over to one of the corners of the rink as the generic waltz music started. He didn't let go of her hand, Lily really wanted to drop his grip, but she knew Minerva was probably watching, and Lily didn't want to seem like a petulant child. At least she was wearing gloves, so she wouldn't catch any James-cooties.

"Why is she making us do this?" Lily asked as they smoothly went through the short pattern.

"Dunno." James seemed a little off.

It didn't even take them a minute to get through both sections of the pattern. Soon enough, their coach was yelling at them to get started on a Willow Waltz.

Lily cleared her throat as she and James went into a closed hold, face-to-face. "Listen," she avoided his eyes. "I'm sorry about this morning. I haven't been sleeping much, I was tired, and I shouldn't have yelled."

A crack of a smile appeared on James's lips. Lily held herself back from rolling her eyes.

"It's okay, Lily darling. It's not the first time I've been on the receiving end of your melodious shrieks."

Lily scoffed slightly. "I know, but we said we would be professional on the ice, and I plan on sticking to that."

"Wow, I can't believe after a week, I've been more professional than you."

"Shut up."

They finished the pattern, someone else's music came on, and they were instructed to go back to crossovers in hold.

"By the way, Minnie said that before we leave, we have to fill out our ISU biography cards so she can send them to British Ice Skating, and they can send them to the ISU."

A crease formed between Lily's brows. "Oh, right." Once their joint bios went up on the International Skating Union's website, there was no going back, this partnership would be on her skating record permanently, her name would be associated with James's forever.

"She also said we should start thinking about music for our programs. She said she'll start choreographing our short dance next week."

"Yes, about that. I thought we could each bring a few suggestions and see which songs we both like and go from there." Lily said.

"Alright, I guess."

Lily wanted to tell him to say it if he had a better idea, but she opted to stay quiet, she would not be the one starting a fight, even if technically it would've been him who started it with his passive-aggressive comments. So, yeah.

Eventually, Minerva started leveling them up in waltzes. Lily had forgotten the sheer amount of waltz patterns there existed. By the time they finally started doing the Ravensburger Waltz again, Lily definitely noticed the difference. She and James were both a lot less clumsy, and their hold was a lot easier.

When their session was over, Lily could not believe she had survived that long in such proximity to James. It actually hadn't been so bad, as long as he kept his mouth shut.

* * *

Now came the dreaded task of filling out their joint ISU biographies. It really wasn't that big of a deal, the International Skating Union – the governing body for figure skating internationally – kept a record of pretty much every skater who had ever competed internationally. For team disciplines, the bios were joined. Lily already had an ISU bio with Severus, and another one with John. They would never be updated or used again, really, but they were still out there on the internet.

Minerva had printed out the empty form for them to fill out by hand, which Minerva would then transcribe on her computer.

"Ladies first." James motioned to the paper.

"I'd rather not."

James sat down and took the pen. "What? You don't want me to see what your hobbies are?"

Lily scoffed and sat down next to him. He filled out his information pretty quickly, then turned it over to her.

Lily stared at the paper. At the top of the page, it read: Lily EVANS GBR, then beneath, James POTTER GBR. No going back now.

Most of the information was pretty basic, Lily had no trouble filling it out, date of birth, place of birth, hometown, height. James had made her feel self-conscious about what to write under hobbies. She very briefly glanced down to see what James had written down for his hobbies. Having fun, annoying Lily, playing hockey. Ugh. Lily wrote down her usual answer: watching movies and hiking.

"Should we get joint social media accounts?"

Lily narrowed her eyes at James. "Absolutely not."

Lily started filling out the joint section with their training information. "Who are your previous coaches?"

"Eufemia Potter."

Lily knew this already, but she would never admit it to James. "Okay, the only thing left to fill in is the music for Short and Free Dances."

James leaned in to see the sheet. "What'd you put fo choreographer?"

"Well, Minerva and Malcolm, who else?"

Did he want to get choreography from an outside source? Lily felt her stomach drop. Choreographers were expensive, and they would probably have to travel outside of the country, which also cost money.

"I meant to ask you if you would be willing to go to America and get our free dance choreographed by Marina Zoueva?"

Lily tensed. Her heart almost stopped. She turned to James and searched his face, was he serious? Lily opened her mouth, but all that came out was blubber of "ah - oh - um. " She cleared her throat. "How much would that cost, though? Because I hadn't contemplated a trip to America in my expenses for the season, and I don't know if my parents would be okay with that."

"But apart from costs, would you _want_ to get choreography from her?"

Lily almost laughed in his face. "Yes, that would be amazing. But I don't think it would be wise to spend all our money on it."

"Well, we'd only have to pay for the program itself and the flight there and back. I talked to one of the skaters I know in Canton, and she said she could host us while we were there." James paused, unsure. "And... you know, my parents offered to pay for everything for both of us already."

Lily couldn't help the grimace that overcame her face. "I don't think I would be comfortable with that. Why don't you let me consult with my parents, and I'll get back to you."

* * *

Lily laid on her bedroom floor, her head was starting to hurt after listening to waltzes for the past hour. She wrote down her thoughts on the piece she was listening to on her notebook. "What'd you think of that one, Mary?"

Mary did not answer.

"Mary?" Lily turned to look at her friend, who was sitting back on the bed. Mary was fast asleep. Lily quickly pressed the space bar on her laptop and proceeded to throw a cushion at her friend.

Mary let out a shriek. "I'm up! I'm up!"

"Sure, you are. I guess I don't have to ask for your opinion on that one."

"Face it, Lily, the overwhelming majority of waltzes are pretty boring. Just choose whichever, and the choreography will make it better. I mean, look at Tessa and Scott, Valse Triste is a snoozefest and look what they did with it."

Lily groaned. "Yeah, but James and I are literally nowhere near their level, even from back when they did Valse Triste. We need a strong music choice."

"I think you should stop thinking so hard about it, maybe James has some actually good suggestions, and you will have stressed over nothing."

Lily chuckled drily. "Yeah, I'm not counting on that."

Mary gave her friend a look. "Why are you being so pessimistic about James? He's changed a lot since last season, you've seen it."

Lily scowled. "I know, but I can't just ignore all the years that he tormented Severus."

"Okay, but you do remember that Snape ended up taking all his anger at James and Sirius on you?"

Lily was hoping Mary wouldn't bring that up. "I know, but it still doesn't excuse all the horrible things they did to Severus."

"Well, I know some of their pranks went a little overboard. Like when they somehow tied his laces together without him noticing and he faceplanted on the ice. That was pretty mean, you don't mess with a person's skates. And the whole Snivellus nickname they started was a bit much, but that was a while ago, and they still do pranks, but I haven't seen them do anything of the sort to anyone for a while."

Lily side-eyed Mary. "Yeah, because Severus left, and he was always their main victim."

"Uh well, yeah, I guess. But I genuinely don't think they'd still be as bad to Snape if he were still here." Mary turned on her side so she could look at her friend better. "Besides, you weren't here when Catherine left, James was pretty depressed for a couple of weeks. I think he's sobered up a lot since then."

Lily looked down at her hands. "Mhm. I guess."

"Plus, he hasn't asked you out in like months."

"Yeah, but he still flirts incessantly."

"Well, yeah, Lily. But have you considered that you tend to flirt back?" Mary said with a bit of caution.

Lily let out a small gasp. "I do not."

"Besides, flirting is James's mother tongue, he flirts with almost everyone he encounters. And honestly, I think it's kind of cute that he's had a crush on you for like two years now."

"He doesn't have a crush on me, he barely even knows me."

"Okay, but he does like you... generally, as a person. That's undeniable. So, maybe for the sake of your partnership, you could try to start anew with him. Just treat him as if you've never met before. No prejudices. I know it'll be hard, and I'm not saying you have to become best friends with him, but I know you want this partnership to be successful, and you know this will be best for it."

Lily sighed slowly. Mary was right. Lily could tend to be very set in her views and didn't change her opinion on people easily. But she knew she had to try and get along with James if their partnership was to last longer than a week. "Alright. I guess I could try to treat him like anyone else." Lily said gingerly. "But that doesn't mean I admit he's changed!" She quickly added.

Mary chuckled. "Sure, Lils."

"Now, will you help me choose a freaking waltz? I think at this point I might just go for Blue Danube."

Mary groaned and burrowed further into her pillow. "Maybe we should sleep on it." she pulled back the covers to allow space for Lily to lay down.

Lily shut her laptop, and reluctantly joined Mary. It _was_ late, after all. She pulled the covers to her chin and turned to look at Mary. "So, what do you think about the whole Marina thing?"

"Well, I get why you don't want to take his offer up, but, Lily, think about it. You'd be passing on a Marina Zoueva program. And you know, partners may come and go, seasons may pass, but Marina Zoueva programs? Marina Zoueva programs are forever."

Lily chuckled. Her heart swelled at the thought of skating to a program choreographed by Marina Zoueva herself. Lily turned to express her agreement to her friend, but she'd fallen asleep again.

* * *

"We are _not_ skating to Romeo and Juliet." Lily could feel her ears going red in anger. Did he seriously think she'd agree to that?

Lily and James sat on the stands looking out to the ice. They had just had a ballet lesson, and now they needed to put together a shortlist of music preferences for their short dance before their afternoon session with Minerva started.

They were sitting close together, sharing earbuds. Lily tried to avoid touching James's leg with hers, but it was pretty hard.

"We could totally pull it off! I can picture us now, you dying in my arms at the end of the program."

Lily scoffed. "I didn't include this in our conditions, but I am never dying at the end of a program, and neither are you." It was more or less a trend in skating programs.

"What about Virtue and Moir's Carmen style?"

A small smile crept onto Lily's lips. "Okay, you can die, but only if I kill you."

James grinned. "Deal."

"Okay, now that we've got that cleared up," Lily took James's phone. "What about Coppelia?"

Lily played a bit of it.

"Uh, don't you think it's a little, you know... basic?"

Lily narrowed her eyes at James. "What does that even mean?"

"Well, everyone's skating to the same five soft, melodic classical pieces this season, and I think it would be good to do something different," James explained. "I thought maybe we could do Nothing Else Matters by Metallica, it fits the tempo."

Lily's jaw clenched. "I get it, but I don't think it's a very good idea to do something too out of the box on our very first season together. Maybe once we've built a reputation."

"What about Moon River?" James suggested.

"Mmm, maybe. The Nutcracker?"

James grimaced. "The Game of Thrones theme? That's classical."

"It's not that I'm against doing something different, I just don't want to do something too out of the box." Lily tried to explain.

"Uh, okay. So that's a no to Game of Thrones?"

Lily shrugged. "I... don't know." She looked at her wristwatch. "Our ice time is about to start. We can discuss it with Minerva later. Come on."

Lily quickly shoved her phone in her pocket and stood up. She felt James's hand loop around her wrist, stopping her from walking away. She turned to him.

"Have you thought about the Canton thing?"

Lily looked down at her feet. "Um."

Truth was she had discussed it with her parents, and they were willing to accept James's offer to pay for the trip, but only if they met James's parents first, and Lily had some very complicated feelings about this situation, she only knew she had to figure out a way to avoid her and James's parents meeting.

"How about I give you an answer by Friday, and in the meantime, we figure out our short dance music?"

James thought for a moment. "Deal."

Lily smiled slightly. "Let's go before Minerva comes up here and gets us."


	4. Airports & Drug Lords

Lily wasn't a big fan of planes. Competitions _had_ taken her all across Europe, but those were always more or less short flights, she'd never actually been on a transcontinental flight. The website had said the flight would be 17 hours long, counting a four-hour layover in New York. Lily had never been on a plane for over four hours, so she wasn't doing exactly great at the moment.

This wasn't the first time Lily travelled out of the country without her parents, but it was the first time she travelled without any adult supervision whatsoever. She already felt weird, knowing that she'd soon be thousands of miles away from home with no adults to answer to.

As the plane headed to the runway, Lily started taking deep breaths to try and prepare herself for takeoff, she hoped James didn't notice what was happening. She wasn't always great on planes, especially on takeoff. Her fingers dug into the side of her seat.

James glanced at Lily, "You good?"

Lily nodded briefly. "I'm fine."

"Take-offs always feel pretty rough."

Lily nodded again, not trusting her voice as the plane gained speed. She was sure James could very clearly hear her erratic breaths now.

She tried to focus on something else. Their season was finally starting to take form, and Lily couldn't help but get a little excited about the prospect of competing for the first time in almost a year. Yes, competition could be nerve-wracking, but she missed the atmosphere of being around all those people from all over the world who loved skating just as much as she did, whom she only got to see once in a while. Hell, she even missed the pre-competition jitters she was prone to.

Just a few days before leaving, it had been Mary of all people who found the perfect music for Lily and James's waltz, and they had even started with bits of choreography, for which Lily was full of ideas, after not having any new programs for months. And now their short dance was almost done.

Lily took out her phone and earbuds and started put on the song she and James would be dancing to, La Valse d'Amelie from the Amelie movie soundtrack. Lily loved that film and the music box melody of the main theme fit perfectly to both her and James's vision of what they wanted, which was nothing short of a miracle.

And now she was on her way to Michigan to be choreographed by Marina fucking Zoueva.

* * *

Lily woke with a start. She turned her head to see James looking at her with a slight smile on his face. "Did you just flick me?"

James frowned deeply. "What? No, Lilyflower, I would never. But since you're awake, we're in New York."

Lily stared at him blankly. "Okay..."

James sat up slightly. "Well, we need to trans board planes."

Lily's eyes widened, her brain finally waking up. She must've fallen asleep somewhere over the Atlantic. "Oh, right." She sat up too.

Lily then noticed quite a few people had already left their seats. James must've waited a while to wake her. She was actually pretty thankful James had let her sleep through the landing. She always got unnecessarily freaked out during them.

Lily and James quickly gathered their things and got out of the plane. Lily only caught a few glimpses out the windows to see America for the first time. She only managed to see other planes and the runway though. She wasn't sure how she expected to feel once she was on another continent. She thought she'd feel different, but she felt just the same so far, maybe once she was out of the airports, airports always felt the same in any country.

"You hungry?"

As if on cue, Lily's gut growled. "I guess that's a yes."

James grinned. "I say we go find the most obnoxiously American restaurant we can find and eat there, you know to celebrate your very first time in the States."

Lily nodded, still too groggy to argue and started walking beside James. "You've competed here before, right?"

"Yup, mine and Cat's very first Junior Grand Prix was right here in New York."

Lily hummed in response. "Must've been nice."

James elbowed Lily lightly. "But don't worry, soon enough you'll have competed here too. Maybe as soon as March." He wiggled his brows.

Lily frowned. "Don't. Talk about it. I don't wanna curse it."

Lily had been trying her best since she and James partnered up to not think about the probabilities of them managing to make the World team this season. It was wide open at the moment, and she knew if she started thinking about it, her body might actually collapse from the stress.

"Well, this seems like a strong candidate."

They had stopped in front of something called TGI Friday's. Lily had no idea what to expect from that name, but her gut was begging for sustenance.

"Let's just go in, I'm hungry."

As they sat down at a booth and looked at their menus, Lily realised what the feeling she'd had since arriving in New York had been. She hated the fact that James knew more than her. He'd been to America before, she hadn't. Lily shook her head. She was being stupid.

"How did you and Catherine do on that JGP here? I don't quite remember."

A barely visible crease formed between James's brows. "We were seventh, it was actually our very first international competition. I'm pretty sure um... Aldridge and Eaton won that one."

Lily felt her heart sink a little bit. She knew that James and Catherine had split on their own accord, but she couldn't help feeling like she had come between them since James clearly was still very fond of his previous partner. And Lily had the slight nagging feeling that if Catherine were to come back right now, James would ditch her and go back to Catherine in a split second.

Lily cleared her throat a little. "Oh, Eaton is in Canton with his new partner, right?"

"Yeah, he is. I actually met Alison through him, they used to train together."

Lily's interested perked up at this. Alison was the woman they were staying with in Michigan. Lily had never met her before, but she knew that she trained with Marina and Igor, and Lily had even seen her skate on videos. James had met Alison at some junior competition years ago and had remained in touch for the last couple of years. James had contacted her about a place to stay in Canton, and Alison had immediately offered up her place for them to stay, which Lily thought was very nice.

"Is Allison.. well, did you guys... date or something?" Lily spluttered out. She cursed herself for the phrasing of that question. She had been meaning to ask James about this for a while. She didn't need him to have any sort of distractions and waste any of their precious time with Marina.

James laughed slightly. "Um, Alison is four years older than us and I met her when I was fourteen, so I think that would've been kinda inappropriate. So, no, Lils, I have never dated her and have no interest in doing so."

Lily nodded slowly. "Okay, just wanted to check," she said quietly.

Soon enough, they both had unbelievably big and greasy cheeseburgers in front of them. As soon as Lily saw her plate, Lily knew she was not eating all of that. She immediately started taking her burger apart and trying to scrape the American cheese off her patty.

"What are you doing?" James had already stuffed his mouth with a huge bit of his own burger.

"If I eat all of this, it will literally take forever to burn all those calories and fat."

"Oh come on, you've already gotten chicken instead of beef and salad instead of fries, is that not enough?"

Lily glared at James. "Well, not all of us spend a suspicious amount of time doing CrossFit, so I am _not_ eating bacon and American cheese."

James didn't contradict Lily. "What's so suspicious about it?"

"It's unnatural, James! Humans shouldn't be physically able to do that amount of CrossFit! I mean I kinda get why Sirius does it, he actually has to _throw_ Melanie around like a rag doll, but you? Is it really necessary for you?" Lily ranted.

James scoffed, slightly offended, a bit of sauce clinging to his chin. "Well, you girls try carrying yourselves around for an entire program, see if you can do it with just our regular off-ice workouts, see how you manage."

Lily raised a brow. "Well, Remus seems to manage just fine."

James didn't miss a beat. "Well, yeah because Remus has a – " He cut himself off. He knew this was not heading somewhere good. "Yuna's well.. you know... short."

Lily almost let out a laugh but controlled her features. She raised a brow. "So you're saying I'm fat?"

"What? No, of course not. I'm just saying you know Yuna is very short and her bones... are lighter?" James tried to explain flustered.

Lily burst out laughing. "I'm just messing with you, I know I'm heavier than Yuna, I mean she's built like a thirteen-year-old, she's obviously lighter."

James breathed in relief. Even let out a small smile.

"Although, Severus never did work out much, and he lifted me."

James smirked. "Yes, Lily, and that's why he could never lift you more than two feet off the ground."

Lily surprised herself by chuckling at James statement. Well, he wasn't wrong. "Just eat your greasy food."

* * *

After another hellish hour on another plane, they were finally in Michigan. Lily wanted nothing more than to rest and take off her shoes. But alas, they still had to go through immigration, which according to James could take up to an hour, since Americans tended to be very thorough.

They reached the long line and Lily could feel her heart tightening in her chest, going through customs was always like those things that made you feel like you were doing something wrong even though you weren't. "Is it weird that I'm kind of afraid that American customs isn't going to let me into the country for some reason?"

"I get it, but you've really nothing to worry about, Lils, I mean, you're European and you're white. Me on the other hand..."

Lily frowned at James. "What _about_ you? You're also European and white."

James smirked. "While that _is_ true, Lilyflower, I also carry a South American passport that literally has the name Joaquín Guzmán on it."

Lily's frowned deepened. Her brain wasn't quite processing what James had just said. "What?"

James pulled two passports out of his pocket. Lily wondered how she had missed the fact that he had been carrying two passports the whole time.

"Actually, I should probably warn you, there's a pretty high chance that I will be stopped by customs for questioning. It will be fine, it's happened before, they'll just ask me a few questions and let me go, it'll all probably take about an hour tops. So, if it happens, which it probably will, don't freak out."

Lily wondered if James was trying to play a joke on her, but although his demeanour was calm, he had a note of seriousness in his voice. "Okay, please explain because I'm really not understanding and I'm getting a little freaked out."

James sighed. "Ah, well it's not very complicated really, my grandparents emigrated from Chile to the UK, changed their name from Alfaro to Potter so they could get decent jobs, had my dad, then my dad married my mother, also Chilean, whom he met while she was studying in London. Then when I was about six-years-old my mother got a job offer in Chile, so we moved there for a couple of years, and I got citizenship, hence the passport." James handed Lily his passport so she could take a look at it. "My full name is James Joaquín Alberto Guzmán Potter, and I don't know if you recall this, but Joaquín Guzmán is the real name of El Chapo."

Lily's eyes narrowed. "Wait, you mean like the Mexican drug lord, with the escape tunnel? Why would your parents – ?"

James cut her off. "Well, it wasn't intentional! He wasn't like a well-known person in Chile or England when I was born. And my mother's maiden name is Guzmán, and my paternal grandfather's name is Joaquín. So, yeah my parents accidentally named me after a drug lord."

Lily then realised that she had been gaping at James for the last minute and quickly shut her mouth. She really knew way less about James than what she thought she did. "But if you're not related to the guy, and you're Chilean, not Mexican, why would customs stop you?"

"Beats me, Lil. I guess they want to be especially thorough when it comes to the most wanted criminal in the world. And I've learned it's easier just to comply with these guys."

"D'you think they'll let me go with you if you get questioned?"

A slight smirk tugged at James's lips. "Aw, Lils, I know you don't want to leave my side for even a second, but I promise you I'll be fine."

Lily felt her ears go red. She scoffed. "It's not that, I just don't want to be left by myself for an hour in a place I don't know in a foreign country."

"Well, they usually let my mum come with me since I'm a minor, but I don't think they'll let you if I'm honest. You'll be fine though, you can manage, you always do."

Lily sighed. "I guess."

"Besides, we don't even know if I'll get held back for sure."

* * *

James absolutely got held back.

It really wasn't as scary as Lily had imagined. She'd thought James would get pulled away by agents in full tactical gear with rifles in their hands and sniffer dogs, the whole American shebang, but in reality, he'd only gotten pulled away by one of the immigration agents at customs. They let Lily wait right outside the room where they'd taken James. The most frustrating thing about the whole ordeal was that Lily's phone was about to die and she couldn't even scroll through Twitter while she waited.

But they were finally out of the airport, and out into the chilly Detroit night.

Alison had thankfully been right on time to peak them up at the airport. Lily relaxed once introductions had been made and she realised that Alison was, in fact, a really nice and genuine person.

The car ride to Alison's house took about half an hour. Alison chattered happily at Lily and James, not minding their almost complete silence. Lily was paying attention to what Alison was saying though since she seemed to be quite open to talking about Marina and Igor and the rest of the people at the rink

"Well, I know that Marina has seen you both skate, and she seems to like you both, I do think she's been waiting to see how far along you guys are on lifts and stuff to see what to do in terms of choreography."

Lily's heart lurched at hearing Marina liked them. It made her feel a little better, even though she was almost sure Allison was exaggerating a little.

Allison didn't mention Marina again. She mostly spoke about rink drama, which Lily didn't care for all that much since they were only going to be here for less than a week.

Allison's house was in Ann Arbor, which meant it was about a twenty-minute car ride to the rink. But it was closer to the University of Michigan, where Allison attended classes. It was a just big enough place for two people, so having three of them there was a bit tight but comfortable enough. Lily was just grateful to not have to pay for a hotel.

Lily had been given the small guest room at the house, which was barely big enough for one person. James was going to sleep in the living room sofa, which Lily felt a little bit bad about, but not too much.

"Hey."

Lily turned to see James standing in the doorway. "Hey."

"You nervous about tomorrow? Meeting Marina?"

Lily sighed. She put down the clothes she'd been arranging in the small bureau. "Well, I'm trying not to think about it, but I just hope she likes us enough to give us something good."

"She obviously will not be able to resist my charm, Lils, so you don't have to worry about that."

Lily bit back a scoff. "Well, if she could stand Scott, I guess she'll be able to deal with you."

"But, really even if she didn't like us, even her worse programs are still quite good."

Lily hummed in response. "I guess you're right."

"Don't worry about it, though Lily, really. When have you met an adult who didn't like you?"

Lily smiled, despite herself.

James turned to leave. "Sleep well. We've got a big day ahead of us."

Lily sighed and said goodnight. _Oh boy._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I hope you're all staying safe at home, I'll try to upload more often because god knows I'm bored as fuck at home and wish I had more fics to read.


	5. Talk Technical to Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I would just like to say that I'M SORRY, I know I said I'd try to upload more but literally right after I uploaded the last chapter my teachers decided that it was time for online classes and cramming us with as much work as humanly possible. But, yeah, here it is.

Tessa Jane McCormick Virtue (born May 17, 1989, in London, Ontario) and Scott Patrick Moir (born September 2, 1987, in London, Ontario) are Canadian ice dancers. They are the 2010 Olympic champions, the 2014 Olympic silver medallists, two-time world champions (2010, 2012) and six-time Canadian champions (2008 - 2010, 2012 - 2014). They are the youngest ice dance team to win Olympic gold and the most decorated Canadian ice dancers of all time. And the Arctic Edge Ice Arena was the place where they trained for the last ten years. Lily wasn't kidding herself; she knew Tessa and Scott weren't in Canton, and her chances of running into them were slim to none, especially after the whole Sochi fiasco, which had ended with both of them taking an indefinite break from competition and subsequently moving back to Canada. Lily did _not_ like to talk about it.

Although Lily didn't hold any false hopes, it still felt pretty cool to be in the very place where Tessa and Scott had trained for their many titles and where they had created so many iconic programs alongside Marina.

Lily felt a chill run down her spine as she entered the arena and the first thing she saw was the 2010 Olympics banner. Tessa Virtue & Scott Moir. Gold medallists. That sounded good as hell, even five years later.

Lily and James were about a half-hour early because of Lily's paranoia of being late, but it gave her some time to look around and settle her nerves.

Lily and James were lacing up their skates sitting side by side while debating what lifts they wanted to integrate into their free dance when Lily caught a flash of red hair by the doors. She was a little embarrassed at her split-second reaction as she looked up to see Marina standing there.

Lily finished tying her skates and debated with herself if they should go talk to Marina now or wait until the time they had agreed on meeting at.

Before Lily could finish battling with herself, James had gotten up and walked over to Marina.

Lily was about to freak out when she saw Marina smile warmly at James as she shook his hand. James waved Lily over.

Lily took a deep breath and introduced herself to Marina in the steadiest voice she could manage.

"It's very nice to meet you both. Minerva has spoken wonders about the two of you."

Lily felt herself go red. She'd nearly forgotten Marina and Minerva were contemporaries and old friends.

"Have you thought about your music options?" Marina asked in her thick Russian accent.

"Uh, yes, we thought Holst's The Planets could be good, or maybe a ballet. Tchaikovsky or Minkus maybe." _Stop saying maybe, Lily._

Marina considered them for a moment. Lily tried not to squirm under Marina's gaze as she took a step back and looked her and James up and down. Lily stood up straighter.

After a few agonising seconds, Marina spoke again. "I've seen you skate, you're not ready for that yet."

Lily's breath caught. "You've seen us skate?"

"Minerva sent me some videos."

Lily's eyes widened. She knew Minerva had filmed her and James a few times, but she'd thought those videos were for Minerva's eyes only. Lily desperately tried to remember the content of said videos, but she could not for the life of her remember. "Well, we'd thought maybe we could do something like... well Umbrellas of Cherbourg."

Lily could feel her heart thudding at the mention of Umbrellas of Cherbourg. She'd told herself she wouldn't bring up Virtue and Moir in front of Marina, but so far Marina's expression did not give anything away. She simply said, "Tessa and Scott had a special connection from the very beginning, you don't have that yet. That program was about two kids in love, you think you can interpret something like that?"

Lily looked down at her feet, a blush creeping up her neck. "Probably not."

"And that's okay, it'll come with time. I think you are both very... aggressive skaters, which gave me an idea."

A trickle of hope sparked in Lily's chest. When she saw the glint in Marina's eyes, she knew she was in for a Marina Zoueva masterpiece.

* * *

Lily and James spent the rest of the day showing Marina the lifts they thought were good for their program.

"Practice that last curve lift," Marina instructed as she was called away to check on one of her teams.

Lily gulped, did Marina have to like that lift specifically?

"Come on, Lils," James took her wrist and led her to an empty spot on the ice.

Lily had noticed James only ever seem to take her by the wrist, not the hand, which was probably for her own benefit since she was visibly uncomfortable holding James's hand most of the time. She felt a little bad James had noticed it but she was relieved he hadn't actually said anything.

James bent down onto a Besti squat and nodded at Lily to go ahead.

Lily's issue with this lift was stupid. She knew this, which is why she kept her mouth shut about it to everyone but her friends. As a matter of fact, Lily quite liked this lift, in theory. In practice, she had one glaring issue.

This particular lift consisted of Lily basically doing a handstand with her hands on each of James's lower thighs. Which meant Lily had nowhere to stare at but _James's crotch_.

The first time they had tried it off the ice, Lily had tried to avert her eyes, but there wasn't anywhere else to look really without bending her neck, and she had ended up losing her balance on the exit and toppling over. So she had resigned herself to the five seconds she came face to - well - _dick_ with James. She shuddered internally at the thought.

So, as cool as the lift looked, Lily had hoped Marina didn't end up liking it enough for the program.

Thankfully, they only had to do it twice before Marina returned.

"Let me see that stationary lift again."

Lily and James complied. Lily actually couldn't decide if this lift, where they were face to face and she had to look at his eyes was worse than the crotch lift.

As Lily and James finished, they could see a thoughtful expression on Marina's face, they both waited quietly for her thoughts.

"Okay, there's something that I need you both to understand," Marina said. "Technically, this is a great lift, difficult entry and exit, impeccable positions on Lily's part, and James is completely stationary on the ice. But you need to understand that not just because you're performing an element does that mean that you can stop performing your program, you must remain connected and immersed in the program at all times."

Lily lowered her eyes. She knew all this, but hearing Marina calling them out on it was a little embarrassing.

"First of all," Marina continued. "James, you must do something with your hands, you can't just leave them limp next to you, at least stroke her hair. And Lily, I can tell you're looking at an invisible spot above James's head instead of into his eyes. You two are a team, as long as you're on the ice, you are not two separate entities, you are one. You must be in sync with each other, know the other's movements as you do yours. You need to convey a feeling of union."

Lily bit her lip but nodded quickly. Yeah, it was not going to be easy to figure out how to do all that with James freaking Potter.

Marina had Lily and James perform the lift again, taking her observations into account.

Lily knew it wasn't going to be easy to _convey a feeling of union_ with James, but the least she could do at the moment was actually look into his eyes for five seconds. Actually, as long as he kept his mouth shut, looking into his eyes wasn't _that_ bad.

James ran his hands over her hair all the way down to her sides, his touch barely a whisper over Lily's body. Lily knew that looked much better than what he had been doing before, but she never would've told him to do _that_.

After that, they ran through their step sequences for the program. One of the reasons Lily liked Marina so much as a choreographer was all the skating in-hold she included in programs, which some people truly didn't appreciate as much nowadays.

Lily was not anticipating the level of difficulty Marina would go for in their steps, she seemed to trust them beyond their abilities. Lily didn't know whether to be grateful or scared.

* * *

Lily wasn't entirely sure where she was when she woke up. She could see the night's sky and a dim street light at a weird angle. She straightened up, her neck sore from the awkward position she'd fallen asleep in.

She tried not to freak out once she realised she was in a strange car. She heard the door open and James's voice drifted in. "Hey, look who's awake."

James helped her out of the car, and said something to the driver through the car window before they drove off.

As they walked into the house, Lily turned to James. "What time is it?"

"Around midnight."

Lily's eyes widened. "Wow. You called an Uber?"

"No, that was Marina's son, Fyodor, she asked him to drive us home."

Lily blushed. She hadn't recognised Marina's son, she hadn't even acknowledged him when she got out of the car. Fuck, she hoped Marina wouldn't think she was rude.

"You want to eat? Alison said she'd leave something for us in the oven."

Lily wanted nothing but to go to bed, but she could not ignore the hollow in her stomach. "Uh, sure."

"Why don't you go sit on the couch? I'll heat up the food and bring it over."

Lily still couldn't get used to James being nice to her. "We can't eat on Alison's couch."

"She always does it. I'm sure she won't mind."

Lily was too tired to argue, so she just went over to the living room couch and sat.

A light bulb suddenly flashed in Lily's head. She dug her phone out of her skate bag and looked at the time. 12:18. She couldn't believe she'd almost forgotten about Mary.

Mary and her partner Thomas were competing on the Junior Grand Prix in Poland this week, and Lily had done the time conversions before leaving for America, and she was pretty sure Mary and Thomas were skating their short dance in a few minutes.

Lily turned the TV on to YouTube and sighed in relief once she realised Mary's warmup group was still on the ice.

"Oh shit, are Mary and Thomas going on right now?"

James had finally gotten to the living room, two plates of lasagna in hand.

Lily's stomach growled. "Yeah. Gimme."

James sat down beside Lily and handed her a plate. "What's the starting order?"

"No idea."

Lily and James watched the last few minutes of the warmup in silence.

The first couple on the ice was not Mary and Thomas, usually Lily would be up for watching a competition, but tonight she just wanted to get it over with. She ate her lasagna in silence as she watched.

"They're good."

Lily hummed in response. "They're _Russians_ , they tend to be good."

James chuckled. "Yeah, I guess. The Starlight Waltz is quite a nice pattern."

Lily took a second to answer. "Any waltz is better than the Ravensburger Waltz."

"We should go over the Starlight Waltz soon, in case we get sent to Junior Worlds, for some reason."

Lily frowned. "Don't even say that."

James shrugged. "Why not? I mean, we're both age-eligible and I think we'd have a decent chance at a medal."

"Well, yeah, but if we get sent to Junior Worlds that means we probably won't get sent to Euros and Worlds, and I'd rather get sent to both than to one plus Junior Worlds."

"Okay, you're right, I swear I will never mention Junior Worlds in front of you again."

Lily ignored James's snark and turned back to the screen. "That's a pretty good score. I'm pretty sure Mary and Thomas's season's best in the short dance is somewhere along those lines."

James turned to look at Lily. "Do you know _all_ your friends' season's bests?"

Lily raised a brow. "You don't?"

James frowned. "Well, no."

"Not even Sirius's?"

"I feel like it might be in the hundred and eighties."

"161."

"Okay, but to be fair, I don't think _he_ knows it."

Lily shushed James as Mary and Thomas took the ice and their music began. Lily actually quite liked this program, it was set to the music from the movie _Up_ , which was different from their usual modern style, but Lily would always admire teams who showed versatility.

James winced. "Oof, Mary's closed Mohawk edge looked borderline."

Lily side-eyed James. "How are you awake enough right now to make real-time edge calls?"

James shrugged. "I see a pattern, I over-analyse the shit out of it."

Lily felt something flutter in her stomach. _That's hot_. Lily almost wanted to kick her own brain for thinking such a thing.

"I'm pretty sure they got all the key points but that one, hopefully, this will be a lenient panel. But I think the tech score will be pretty high." James said as Mary and Thomas finished.

Lily nodded once. "God forbid they actually give them PCS though."

James scoffed. "I know! I swear sometimes I think these judges wouldn't recognise skating skills is they skated right over their faces."

Lily chuckled. She loved her sport, but sometimes the politics involved could be really frustrating. And the fact that most of the judges and officials were old white people did not help. Not only were Mary and Thomas from a small federation (which tended to make judges not so willing to dish out the best scores since small federation = less money to give to the ISU), but they were also not white, which sometimes elicited completely unjustified opinions about them not being 'refined' or 'elegant' enough, which meant their Program Component Scores (or PCS) were often lower than expected.

Lily wished more than anything that her friends would get the scores and medals they deserved, and she knew both Mary and Thomas worked ten times harder to achieve half the success some of the teams they competed against did.

Soon enough, the scores came in. 58.28. They were currently in second place with four teams left to skate.

Lily glared at the TV screen. "Are you fucking kidding me? 26 PCS? There's literally no reason why they should be getting anything less than 28. I want to see those protocols, and I swear to god if the Russians got higher PCS..."

"I mean, they got a season's best, and they look happy." James tried to calm Lily down.

"Yeah, that's good, but I still think they deserve better."

"Oh they absolutely do, but we can't really do much about it at the moment, so let's just be happy for them."

Lily hummed. "Well, I'm gonna text Mary and go to bed, I am absolutely beat. Are you gonna keep watching?"

James nodded. "Yeah, I'm gonna check out some of these teams' waltzes, I'm kind of curious about that closed Choctaw, I doubt anyone will get that key point, really."

"Okay." Lily got up and tried not to think about how hot it was when James went all technical expert on her as she left the room. _What the hell was wrong with her?_

* * *

The next couple of days passed in a breeze. Lily and James spent most of their time at the rink going over the program, especially since their music cut had been finished. Lily wanted to practice and get as comfortable with their program before they left since she didn't want to offend Marina by changing something once they were back in England.

The music Marina had suggested probably would not have gone over as well with Lily if suggested by literally anyone else. Lily liked the music, but if it was anyone else choreographing the program she would have flat out refused to skate it in fear that it would look tacky. But Lily trusted Marina with her life, so Pirates of the Caribbean it was.

Once the program had been done, Lily had actually been giddy with excitement. A well-done Pirates of the Caribbean program was rare, but she _fucking had one_. It was already her favourite program she'd ever done (taking the title from her Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence free dance with Severus), which she had not been expecting to happen when she'd partnered up with James.

Lily found that she actually didn't mind skating with James that much when it was their free dance, mostly because since the music was so intense, they didn't have to act like they were in love or some shit like that. In fact, they didn't even have to act like they liked each other. Which, Lily realised now was probably Marina's intention all along. That woman was a fucking genius.

Lily watched James run through their step sequence by himself as she took a water break at the boards. It was a bit awkward without her there since most of it was done in-hold, but he made it work. Lily felt a lurch in her stomach as she watched him do an open Mohawk that was so perfect she could have cried. _Oh control yourself, please._

"He's good."

Lily almost choked on her water as Marina came up beside her quietly. She nodded.

"I have a feeling you don't get told this enough, but you are also very good, and you two are perfectly matched, you might not think you can keep up with him, but you absolutely can, I've seen you do it. Hold your head up high, and know your worth," Marina said. "You are one of those rare people who you can tell loves skating just by watching them on the ice, it's honestly incredible to see. That amount of passion and love in every stroke draws people in, makes them pay attention, and that is one of your greatest advantages. Use it."

Lily could barely control the tears from falling. How had Marina fucking Zoueva just said that to _her_? She didn't want her voice to break so she just smiled and nodded vehemently.

Marina put a hand on Lily's shoulder. "Also, just as a suggestion, maybe for your exhibition program you could try something more soft and lyrical like what you wanted originally. It's your chance to experiment."

Lily's brows raised in surprise. She hadn't even thought about getting an exhibition program. Exhibition galas meant going to a major championship _and_ getting an invitation to participate in the gala. Did Marina really have that much faith in them? She felt like crying again. "Oh, yeah, that'd be a good idea."

"What are you ladies talking about?" James approached them, with a smile on his face. He was in a good mood.

Marin turned to him. "Oh James, good, you're here. I wanted to give you both some last few pointers since today is our last session."

James nodded and stood beside Lily.

They both listened as Marina talked about certain lifts and choreographic moments. Lily tried to absorb every word and imprint it into her brain so she wouldn't forget. She felt tempted to go and get her notebook to write all of this down, but she knew James would _not_ keep quiet about her nerdiness.

"And you must tell me your competition schedule when you settle it. If we coincide at a competition I'd quite like to sit with you on the Kiss and Cry."

Lily's heart almost stopped. Marina wanted to sit on the Kiss and Cry with _them_? That would literally be a dream come true. Although it would probably be stressful as fuck too since Lily could not imagine getting a bad score with Marina sitting _right there_. She smiled widely, nonetheless. "That would be great! We'll definitely let you know."

"Now come here." Marina pulled them both into a hug.

There, crushed into a bear hug by Marina Zoueva, Lily decided she could officially deem this Canton trip a success.


	6. Mama's Boy

Lily was grateful to be back home. As much as she had loved working with Marina, nothing compared to being somewhere she was familiar with, and the Alexandra Palace rink was the only rink that would ever feel like home.

Lily huddled for warmth with Yuna as they headed into the Palace. Lily usually walked with Yuna and Remus from their house to the rink, since the bus usually dropped her off close to their place.

Lily's friends had already questioned her about Marina and Canton right after she'd gotten home, but Yuna seemed to still be bursting with curiosity.

"Did you ask her to show you how to do the Goose?" Yuna asked.

The Goose was an iconic Virtue and Moir lift that in Lily's eyes seemed impossible for anyone else to do. "No, I did not, why would I _want_ Marina to see me smack facefirst onto the ice multiple times?"

Yuna and Remus laughed.

Lily nudged Yuna lightly. "What about you guys though? Are you all ready for Ice Star?"

Ice Star was an international competition Yuna and Remus were attending the following week. Yuna looked down bashfully. "I just hope we do better than the disaster that was our last JGP."

Remus quickly cut in. "Yuna, it really wasn't that bad. We even improved on the free dance PCS."

Yuna shrugged.

Lily pulled her friend closer. "I agree with Remmy, plus I think Ice Star is going to be absolutely amazing for you."

Yuna got the slightest smile on her face, which was enough for Lily.

As they walked into the rink they saw James and Sirius already on the ice with only a couple other people. Lily was almost glad James had gotten there so early, but she knew it was probably more so he could mess around with Sirius before their training session started than for her own benefit.

"Well, it was a nice week of peace and quiet but I guess we're back," Remus said with a bit of a smile on his face.

Sirius and Melanie had had a competition in Germany the previous week, and it had been one of those rare times were things aligned and James, Sirius, and Thomas had all been gone at the same time.

Then Lily realised what James and Sirius were doing and her blood boiled. "What the _hell_ do they think they're doing?"

Yuna put a soft hand on Lily's arm, trying to cool her down.

James and Sirius were jumping. _Jumping_. Lily approached the boards on a warpath. She didn't even care how loud she had to shout for them to hear her. " _What do you think you're doing?_ "

Both miscreants turned to look at her. "Just jumping a little, Lily," James explained as they approached Lily at the boards.

Lily scowled. "Care to tell me why?"

James shrugged. "For fun."

Sirius nudged her slightly. "Come on, Evans. It was just a bit of innocent fun, or would you rather we tie Snivellus's laces together again?"

Lily would feel her rage building, as it did most of the times Sirius spoke. "You know, Black, if you weren't Melanie's partner, I would've actually _murdered_ you a long time ago."

Sirius's eyebrows raised in amusement. "Cold, Evans." He turned to his friend. "Jamesie, why don't you deal with your dear partner?"

Lily scoffed, if Sirius hadn't left the scene then she might have smacked him. She turned to James, who had, at last, had the decency to look at least a little bashful. "What were you _thinking_?" She hissed.

James's shoulders tensed into a shrug again, and Lily thought she might actually kill him if he shrugged again. "Like I said, we were just messing around, for fun. I don't know what's so wrong with that."

Lily's jaw set. "What if you hurt yourself? The National Qualifier is in less than a month, we can't afford even one day off at this point."

"I'm not about to catch my death of a double Axel. And you forget I did singles up until a couple of years ago, I still know how to jump." James argued.

Lily crossed her arms over her chest. "Yeah, you haven't jumped constantly for a year, which means you're at a much higher risk of injury if you jump now."

James raised his hand, as if to put it on Lily's shoulder, but seemed to think better of it and dropped it. "I appreciate the concern, Lils, but I'll be fine."

Lily was fuming by now. "Don't flatter yourself, I care about _my_ career." Even as she said it, Lily could tell that was a little _too_ mean.

James didn't miss a beat though. "Yeah, well your career is also my career now, so I think you meant to say you care about _our_ career. And _our_ career will be fine because a measly double Axel is not going to kill it."

Lily wanted to take that perfectly messy black hair and rip it off his scalp. "You're impossible, James Potter."

Lily didn't wait for a reply before she stormed off into the locker room. She threw her locker door open, grabbed her leg warmers, slammed it shut again, and sat down to put on her skates.

As Lily started lacing up her skates, she wondered how would she get through five hours of training with James today without trying to strangle him at least a few times. And for the first time in more than a week, she wondered if she had made the right decision by partnering up with him.

"Lily, you're gonna cut off the circulation to your foot if you keep tying them that tight."

Lily looked up to see Melanie. They both went in for a hug. "I missed you lots, Mels."

"Oh come on, it was a week." Melanie let go and sat down beside Lily. Her skates were already on.

"Yeah, but a week _alone_ with James."

Melanie looked at her friend softly. "I already told Sirius off."

Lily smiled. "Thanks, Mel. I guess since James behaved so well in Canton, I thought he would be the same way here, but I forgot how much of a bad influence Sirius can be for him."

"I warned you, Lily. By themselves, they're more or less manageable but put them together and it's a mess, especially if you throw in Remus and Thomas."

Lily chuckled. "Yeah, I guess."

Melanie brushed a lock of Lily's hair away from her face though. "Will you be okay with him for today though? We can always pretend you got food poisoning in America."

"Thanks for the offer, but I think I'll manage, at least one of us has got to be the grown-up in this partnership," Lily reassured her friend.

Melanie rubbed Lily's arm. "Take a few minutes to cool off, I'll tell Minerva and Malcolm you'll be right out."

Lily smiled and nodded. Melanie was too good a friend. After Lily thanked her, Melanie exited the locker room.

Sometimes Lily truly did not understand how it had been possible for Melanie to put up with Sirius Black as a partner for the past three years. Melanie was the sweetest, most caring and lovely human being to ever exist, and Sirius was, well, a human dumpster fire. But they seemed to work well together on the ice.

Lily still remembered when Minerva had suggested they partnered up when they were fourteen. Back then Sirius, James, and Melanie were the only ones in the group who still did singles, and James was also doing ice dance. No one had really thought Sirius and Melanie would partner up even though they were the only two without a partner at that moment in time. Sirius loved jumping too much to do ice dance, and he would never put in the work in skating skills ice dance required, he was happy with his singles-level skating skills. Melanie probably would've given up singles for ice dance, but she was just too good at jumping for their coaches to let her give it up.

But even without taking all of that into account, Melanie and Sirius seemed just too different. Sirius was loud and wild and messy, and Melanie was calm and nice and put-together. So when Minerva had suggested they pair up, Sirius's initial reaction had been a flat out refusal, but when Minerva clarified that they should do pair skating, not ice dance, they had been curious about it.

Minerva's reasoning had been that although Sirius had a lot of jumping prowess, he always struggled to be consistent with the harder jumps, and Melanie just looked a little bit too lonely out on the ice by herself. Lily remembered seeing them on the ice together and doing a double-take because it just seemed like the oddest thing ever. But when they skated together, it was really obvious they just _worked_.

It was a weird thing to see. When they skated together – and Melanie had explained this to Lily – Melanie felt like no one was looking at her since Sirius was always such an attention-hogger which meant that she felt more confident to perform on the ice and let herself go, it was like she became a different person, it just seemed like she was _on_. In return, Sirius's crackling energy became a little more subdued when he skated with Melanie, when he was alone he had always been very intense on the ice, and he was still intense with Melanie, but it just seemed a more controlled intensity. Lily thought that when they skated together, Sirius's first instinct wasn't just showing off, but also showing Melanie off. Her presence seemed to rein in his massive ego.

Lily truly enjoyed watching them together on the ice, they had a lot of presence and it felt like _a moment_ every time, and she would never wish for them to end their partnership. But Lily had no idea how Melanie had put up with Sirius's smug ass for so long, she certainly would have cracked after the first week. For what it was worth, Sirius was always nice to Melanie in what Lily had seen, and Melanie never really complained.

Just then, there was a knock on the door. Lily's eyes instantly went to her watch. Fuck, she was fifteen minutes late to practice already.

"Lily and whichever ladies might be in there, if you're naked please cover up, I am coming in."

The door opened.

"Why, thank you for giving us some time to put some clothes on," Lily commented, even though there wasn't anyone else in the locker room.

James smirked. He was holding a disposable coffee cup, which he offered to her. "Peace offering?"

The slightest hint of a smile etched onto Lily's face. She raised a brow. "Is that – ?"

"A skinny latte no cream, no whip? Of course, it is, Lilyflower."

Lily rolled her eyes slightly at the nickname. She took the cup and frowned at the lettering on the side. "You went to Costa?"

"Well, I was going to steal some coffee from the personnel lounge but then I thought you might not approve, and none of the palace cafés are open yet, so yeah, I went to Costa."

Lily was almost touched. But she was still too mad at him. "Thanks," she said shortly.

James sat beside her. "I'm sorry."

Lily sipped her coffee but didn't speak.

"You were right. I shouldn't have been jumping with Sirius, I shouldn't be risking injury right now. From now on, I promise I will only be doing throw jumps with Sirius."

Lily's eyes snapped to James, a murderous glint in them. _God, she was real murderous today._

"Throw jumps where _I_ do the throwing," James quickly clarified.

Lily hummed. "I guess I'm also a little paranoid about injuries since that time Severus tore his hamstring and we ended up having to sit that entire season out."

Lily could tell it was taking James an inhuman effort not to make a witty retort about Severus, but he held himself back. "Yeah, I totally get it, Lily. I promise I will treat my body like a temple just for you."

Lily scoffed, her neck taking a reddish tone. "Shut up."

"Would you now do me the honour of showing off our brand new Marina Zoueva choreography to these suckers?" James offered his hand to Lily, and after a second, she took it.

* * *

At 6:30 pm, Lily collapsed into a heap on the stands, she had no desire to walk all the way to the locker room.

Mary, Yuna, and Melanie sat beside her.

"Hey, we're gonna stay for the game, you in?" Mary asked.

Lily looked over at Yuna and Melanie and raised a brow.

"Xander is playing," clarified Melanie.

Lily nodded slowly. Her calves were still burning from the last four straight sets of Ravensburger Waltzes. "I'd love to, but I promised I'd do a shift at the diner tonight, and I don't want to let them down since I'm already the worst employee ever."

Mary nodded, understanding. "Okay, baby. That reminds me I need to find a new job."

Mary had had a brief stint working at Lily's dinner, but she had recently gotten fired.

"Can't Thomas's dad let you work at one of his restaurants?" Asked Melanie.

Mary shrugged. "Maybe, but Thomas knows the circumstances under which I was fired at the diner, and I think he might not let his dad make that particular business decision."

"Plus, can you imagine if Mary did what she did at the diner in one of those fancy restaurants?" Lily added.

"Oi, how was I supposed to know you can't – ?"

"Ladies." Sirius interrupted their conversation. "You staying for the game?"

He was holding a hockey stick. Lily tried to erase most of the information she learned about Sirius from her mind, so she'd almost forgotten he played in one of the recreational hockey leagues at the palace.

"We are, but Lily has work," Mary replied.

James appeared beside Sirius, he wasn't playing, but he was probably going to stay and watch. "Oh before you leave, Lily, my parents said Thursday night is good."

Lily blinked, she had almost forgotten. When her parents and James's parents had picked them up from the airport, the Potters had offered a ride home to Lily and her parents. It had probably been one of the most stressful hours of her life. Her parents and James's parents had gotten along great, they had barely remembered to ask their children about Canton because of how engrossed they'd been in their conversation. By the time Lily and her parents had been dropped off, Lily's parents had insisted the Potters come over for dinner as a thank you for paying half of Lily's plane ticket to America, and James's parents had eagerly agreed. James's mum only had to check an appointment she had, and she would let everyone know if Thursday was good for her.

Lily had tuned out most of this since she'd been so tired and had even fallen asleep in bits on the way home. She also had so much on her plate at the moment, that as soon as she started getting stressed about having James and his parents over at her house, she had said _not today satan_ and put it in the back of her mind for as long as possible.

Lily could feel her friends' intrigued stares, and after a pause, she simply said, "okay."

She so did _not_ want to deal with this today.

* * *

Lily was so busy the entire week that she barely had time to stress over the Potter dinner. So, by the time Thursday rolled around she felt absolutely not ready for it.

"Lily, calm down, you're not making mashed potatoes."

Lily relaxed her grip on the potato peeler. She was helping her mother finish making dinner so she wouldn't think about her nerves too much.

"Oh honey, I can finish up here, why don't you go finish getting ready?" Lily's mother suggested.

Lily frowned. "I _am_ ready." She looked down at her outfit. She was wearing jeans and a nice blouse, she didn't think it was that bad.

"Oh. I just figured maybe you could wear your green dress, it looks so nice on you."

Lily's shoulders hunched. "It's James and his parents, and we're not even leaving the house."

Mrs Evans shrugged, not looking up from the pot she was stirring. "Well, James is your partner now and I want to make a good impression on his family."

Lily paused. What her mother meant was that she wanted to make a good impression on the Potters because they were rich. With a small sigh, Lily decided to humour her mother and got up.

The door opened, and Lily's sister came in, she had gone out with her dumb boyfriend earlier and Lily had dared hope she would not be back for dinner.

"Tuney, hurry up and get changed, the Potters are going to be here soon." Mrs Evans said.

Petunia frowned. "That's tonight?"

"Yes, so both of you go upstairs and change into something nice."

Petunia scoffed. She argued some more before Mrs Evans chased both her daughters up the stairs with her wooden spoon.

Lily was just as unhappy as Petunia was about her attending the dinner. Petunia and James hated each other, her only hope was that they would try to control their hatred since both their parents would be present.

Lily put on her green dress and brushed her hair, her mother hadn't said anything, but she knew if she showed up downstairs with her hair unbrushed she would be sent right back up. She almost wished she could go to Petunia's room and ask her to do her hair up in a braid, she had always been good at that, but Lily would rather save herself the yelling.

Lily wished her sister didn't hold such contempt toward her, especially over something she couldn't really control. The rift between Lily and Petunia had started forming when they were children, really, and it had crept upon them as they grew older.

When Lily had started skating at six-years-old, Petunia had already started a few months earlier. Lily still remembered holding her sister's hand through her first lessons, when Lily had been so scared to fall.

At first, Petunia had relished in showing her little sister all the moves she knew, but as time passed Lily became the better skater of the two, and at just eleven-years-old Lily had had a trial and been accepted into Minerva McGonagall's group at Alexandra Palace. Petunia had tried to get into Minerva's group too, but she had gotten turned away since Minerva didn't usually coach more than four or five teams at a time. Petunia had also tried to go into Horace Slughorn's group, who also trained at the palace, but gotten turned away as well. Lily was sure she would've been accepted into one of the two other coaches' groups at the palace, but Petunia had refused to even try.

So Petunia stayed at their old rink, barely holding on to a partner for more than a year, her short temper driving them away. Back then their relationship had already been fragile, but the tipping point had been 2012 Nationals. Both sisters had qualified at the junior level, Lily with Severus, and Petunia with whichever poor soul was her partner at the time. It had been Lily's first time at Junior Nationals and Petunia's third time. The previous year Petunia had gotten the bronze medal and hadn't shut up about it since, and she hoped to improve her result that year.

But much to Petunia's chagrin, Lily and Severus had won the title, and Petunia had ended up in fifth place. It had been almost impossible for Petunia to accept that her thirteen-year-old sister had just won the junior national title over her, she had thrown a tantrum and even berated their parents for letting Lily compete at the junior level even though she was still young. Long story short, it had been a shitshow.

Things had calmed down eventually, but within a few years, their relationship was in shambles. The next three years, the exact same events had taken place at Junior Nationals, Lily had won, and Petunia had ended up off the podium. Lily knew her sister was a very proud woman, and she would probably never accept that her kid sister kept beating her.

Petunia had ended up quitting skating when she started college, she now wanted to know nothing about skating and pretended she didn't care for it anymore. Lily didn't understand how could someone just up and decide they're going to quit skating just like that after dedicating over twelve years and countless hours of training to it. Lily couldn't even imagine her life without skating.

By the time Lily and Petunia came downstairs, the Potters were already arriving.

James's parents were actually quite nice, Lily had no idea how they had managed to raise such a mess of a son. Lily could tell her mother was a bit embarrassed by how cramped their diner table was with the three extra people, but luckily none of the Potters acknowledged it in the slightest.

"Rose, didn't you just want to go to the rink yourself to see this amazing new program? Fleamont had to stop me from going the other day, he didn't want me to embarrass him." Mrs Potter said. "But I know my baby would never be embarrassed by his mother."

Mrs Potter took James's chin in her hand and squished it, he looked like he wanted to die. A slight smirk played at Lily's lips.

Mrs Evans seemed amused by the woman's antics. "Oh yes, I'm so excited to see it, Lily's been talking about how amazing Marina's choreography is, but she says we can't see any of it until their first competition so we'll get the full effect once they've rehearsed thoroughly and with costumes."

Mrs Potter's eyebrows shot straight up. "Oh, of course!" She turned to her son, "James, I've changed my mind, I don't want to see it until the Qualifier."

"As you please, _madre_ ," James replied.

Mrs Potter turned back to Lily and her mum, with a grin on her face. "Oh, and costumes, we should really get a move-on with that. What costume designers do you like? Here in London, we've liked Melina Malkin and Herbert Fortescue, my favourite costumes of James's have been made by Helene Dupont in Paris but we probably don't have the time accounting for shipping and all that."

Lily and her mother exchanged a nervous glance. Lily spoke, "Um... well most of my costumes have been made by mum, only occasionally we go to this lady my aunt knows who doesn't specialise in figure skating costumes, but does a good job."

Mrs Potter gasped dramatically and turned to Mrs Evans. "No way, _you_ make her costumes? I've seen Lily's costumes and they are absolutely gorgeous every time, I can barely hem James's trousers!"

Mrs Evans smiled. "Oh, well, it was hard the first few times but once I got the hang of it, it was quite enjoyable actually."

"That is seriously amazing, I thought we could make a parents group chat to share some ideas for costumes and other important info about the kids, but I don't know if the men would be up for that." Mrs Potter looked at the men in question.

Both Lily's and James's fathers made agreeing noises non-committally.

Lily was already scared of said group chat. Her eyes caught James's across the table, who looked at her with fear in his eyes. Then he eyed his mother's mobile on the table and discreetly shoved it into her handbag. Lily held back a giggle.

Mr Potter spoke up then. "D'you kids reckon you have a chance of making the World team?"

Oh boy, Lily really did not want to talk about that.

Lily's father looked at her cautiously out of the corner of his eye, he knew it was a stressful subject for her. She tried to remain calm and gave her father the smallest hint of a smile.

"Well, since Narcissa and Evan got us those three spots last season, I'd say they've got a pretty decent chance, especially since Lily got the bronze medal at last year's Nationals, and James was the Junior National Champion, and with Marlene and Ted's retirement, I think they're a shoo-in." Mrs Potter quickly put in.

"Penny and Nick will probably come back in full force this season though," said Mr Potter.

"Yeah, and there are _three_ spots, after Narcissa and Evan, and Penny and Nick, who else is gonna beat them, _Fleamont_?"

For a second, Lily was worried James's parents were going to start arguing right there, but Mrs Potter's tone was more teasing than actually angry.

"I think it's best not to make any assumptions before we see the reception we get before the judges, both nationally and internationally," James said, and Lily was glad she didn't have to speak.

"Yes, of course, but you guys already have both the Euros and World spot in my eyes."

Lily smiled, she might actually genuinely love James's mother.

James quickly shifted the conversation to football and Lily allowed herself a moment to breathe.

Lily risked a look at her sister, who hadn't said a word all through dinner. And just as Lily had been expecting, Petunia was fuming, it was admirable, really, how she had managed not to snap yet. She'd probably stayed quiet so far because she knew she would get an earful from their parents if she was rude. She settled for stabbing her food and then excusing herself from the table as soon as she could.

Lily thought she might go do some damage control with Petunia upstairs, but she figured it was better to let her cool off a bit. Plus, she was too tired to deal with Petunia's shit at the moment.

Lily had thought Mrs Potter would lay back on the conversation once the football talk started amongst the men, but she joined in just as enthusiastically as she'd been talking about skating.

James got up several times to refill his mum's glass. Lily theorised his niceness toward his mother sucked all the polite out of him, and that was why he was never so nice to anyone else.

Mrs Potter said something to James in Spanish sharply, and he immediately straightened up in his seat from the slouch he'd been in and wiped his hands with his napkin. Lily held back a smirk. Who would've thought? James Potter, a mama's boy.

By the end of the night, Lily found that the dinner had not been half as bad as she'd been dreading. She still wasn't entirely sure if she should be scared or relieved that hers and James's parents got along so well.

After some lengthy goodbyes, the Potter finally headed to their car, but James hung back at the doorway, which Lily's parents quickly vacated. _Traitors_.

"Thanks for the dinner, that was great," James said.

Lily nodded. "Well, my mother made most of it, so."

"Right." James looked like he wanted to say something else but thought better of it. "So, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Bright and early."

"I wanted to – "

James was interrupted by his mother yelling at him from their car down the street. " _James Joaquín Alberto, apúrate que ya sabes que la comida inglesa me cae mal, tengo que llegar a la casa a vomitar para poder comer algo de verdad_."

Lily had no idea what the string of Spanish James's mother had just yelled meant, but she seemed a little desperate.

James sighed. "Oh, my mum, she's um... I should go. I'll see you, Lily."

James ran to his car, his parents already inside, with the engine on.

_Mama's boy._


	7. Flower Crowns & Boats

"No, no, stop! You are completely out of sync!"

Lily and James halted, Lily immediately dropping James's hand and taking a step away from him. She crossed her arms over her chest self-consciously. She didn't know what else to do to get that synchronicity Minerva asked of them.

Minerva approached them. "Get off the ice, and put on your shoes."

Lily's heart dropped. They still had nearly two hours left in their session, were they really so bad Minerva couldn't stand having to watch them struggle with their twizzles for two more hours?

Lily didn't look at James as she exited the ice, they each went to to get their skates off. Lily had to admit the last couple of days hadn't been the best for her and James. As much as they tried, they could not get their twizzles in sync, which was a pretty significant part of an element literally called synchronised twizzles. A set of twizzles consisted of rotating on one foot while travelling on the ice, usually, a set would be from three to five rotations, and for senior competitions, you had to complete three sets one right after the other. Twizzles were also one of the highest-scoring elements in ice dance. Their step sequences were suffering too. Minerva kept telling them to skate closer together, but Lily tended to gravitate away from James.

Minerva approached Lily and James from the boards as they came back out into the rink. "There is a flower crown making lesson at this East Court in ten minutes taught by Alice Longbottom, I want you both to attend it."

Lily couldn't keep the confusion from her features. She wanted them to do _what_? "I... I don't understand, you want us to learn to make flower crowns?"

"Yes."

"I thought those lessons were only for children aged eight to twelve years old."

"The parents of the children may also attend."

James cleared his throat, obviously just as confused as Lily. "But... we do not have a child aged eight to twelve years old."

Minerva didn't back down. "You may ask Horace for permission to bring one of his younger students. Once you're done with the lesson you may go home."

And with that, Minerva skated away from them. Lily couldn't help but gape after her. She could not tell if her coach was being serious.

"Well, let's go, then."

Lily followed James, still not entirely sure what was happening.

James turned to her. "You should probably talk to him, he doesn't like me very much."

He was right. Lily approached Horace, who was standing at the boards watching his students. Lily could only really think of one skater young enough for them to borrow. "Hi, Horace, how are you?"

Horace turned to her and smiled, he threw a worried glance at James but didn't acknowledge him. "Ah, Lily, dear, I'm quite well, and yourself? I hope the new... partnership is working out fine."

Lily surprised herself by how defensive she felt at Horace's tone. "It's going fine. We had a bit of a favour to ask you, actually."

Horace nodded at her to continue.

"Is there any way we could borrow Alena for about an hour?"

Horace glanced at the girl in question, who was currently doing a pattern with her partner. "Well, she still has a half-hour left in the session, but if she's alright with it, I don't see why not."

Lily smiled. "Great! Thanks, we'll go talk to her."

Lily and James walked along the boards towards the short end of the rink, where they would be closer to Alena when she finished her pattern.

"Alena? Isn't that ickle Regulus's partner?" James asked.

"Yeah, you've never met her?"

"Well, Sirius isn't really big on hanging out with his brother or anyone from Horace's group, really."

As with most things she knew about Sirius, she couldn't quite remember what Sirius's beef with his younger brother was. But she knew they rarely even acknowledged each other. It might have had to do with the fact that Sirius had decided to join Minerva's group instead of Horace's, who had coached just about everyone in his family. Lily had never asked though. "Right, and I forgot you and Sirius are conjoined twins so it's physically impossible for you to talk to different sets of people."

James grinned cheekily. "Most people in Horace's group think they're so much better than the rest of us though, and they have literally been insufferable ever since Black and Rosier got that World silver medal."

"I'm not necessarily saying you're wrong, but do not say any of that to Alena, she might be tiny, but she will _actually_ kill you."

As Alena and Regulus finished their pattern, Lily called the girl over. "Alena, can you come here for a second?"

"What do you want?"

Lily wasn't fazed by the girl's bluntness. "How old are you?"

Alena frowned. "I just turned thirteen."

Lily tilted her head slightly as she looked at Alena. She couldn't be over five feet tall, with some baby fat still on her cheeks, and her soft blue doe eyes, she could easily still pass for twelve or probably even less. "I think she could pass for twelve, do you?"

James nodded. "Totally."

Alena's brow furrowed. "Why?"

"We need you to get into a flower crown making lesson in the East Court," Lily replied.

"No, I'm training."

"Come on, you've only a half-hour of ice time left, and Horace said it was okay," Lily pleaded, taking Alena's wrist and giving it a small shake.

Alena scoffed. "Fine."

Lily smiled. "Yay! Meet us at the Palace entrance."

Without another word, Alena skated off.

Lily and James turned away from the boards. James spoke, "you seem pretty chummy with her."

Lily shrugged. "Well, when Sev and I moved to this rink we were co-coached by Minerva and Horace, so I'm pretty familiar with that bunch. I know they can come off as a little conceited and mean, but they're mostly harmless."

"Well, Alena certainly seems charming," said James with sarcasm in his tone.

"I know she can come off a little hostile but she's just a kid, and she hasn't exactly had the best role models to follow, but deep down she's really very sweet and funny."

"I guess I'll have to take your word for it."

"Oh trust me, once she lightens up, she's a laugh riot."

As they entered the East Court, Lily couldn't help but tilt her head upwards to admire the glass ceiling of the atrium, it was nice to feel the sun after spending so long on the ice.

Lily waved Alena over as they approached the front desk.

Before Lily could stop him, James had approached the desk where a bored-looking middle-aged lady sat. "Hello, we're here to sign up for the family flower crown thing."

The lady gave James the stink eye. "That _thing_ is for parents with their children aged eight to twelve years old."

James put his arm around Lily. "Oh, my wife does look young, doesn't she? But she's actually twenty-three," he leaned in close to the desk and whispered, "she comes from a bit of a bad background, she had her daughter at just thirteen-years-old and raised her on her own until she met me and now she has finally put her life together."

Lily's eyes widened in disbelief. She could not believe James had actually just said that.

The lady still looked a bit iffy on the story, but after looking at the three of them for a moment – James grinning, Lily shell-shocked, and Alena bored – she finally said, "fine, just don't cause any ruckus."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

And she signed them off.

As they walked into the room where the lesson would be held, Lily turned to James and slapped his arm. "What the hell was that?"

James shrugged. "Well, the lady said it could only be parents with children, what else was I supposed to say?"

"You could've said we were her elder siblings!"

James paused. "Well, it's too late for that, isn't it?"

Alena rolled her eyes.

As the trio sat down at a table, Alice, the instructor gave them a weird look but said nothing.

Lily gathered their supplies and wondered how the hell this was going to help their skating at all. She resolved that for the time being she was just going to stop trying to figure it out, and just take the lesson.

Lily found that it was quite enjoyable making the crowns. Alena's was turning out far prettier than hers, but she was still proud of her pseudo daisy chain.

"Lily hold this," Alena said.

Lily held two stems together as Alena started doing some sort of intricate knot with a different stem. It was unbelievable how fast that kid picked things up.

Alice approached the trio. "Wow, that is really good, love."

Lily could see Alena's eyes go a little feral at being called love, but she didn't comment on it. "Thank you."

"Why don't you try it on?"

Alena put on the crown over her neatly braided hair. Lily thought she looked like a princess.

Alice grinned. "Oh that's lovely, I have to get a picture of it."

Alice took her phone out and snapped a few pictures of Alena. She then looked at Lily and James. "Why don't you guys get yours on? So I can take a family picture."

Lily thought her crown looked embarrassing next to Alena's but she obliged.

James's crown looked quite nice. Lily held in an eye roll as she realised it was made mostly of lilies. Lily and Alena exchanged a glance as James put the crown on his head. Alena let out a small snort.

"I think you didn't account for your big head, James."

James frowned and tried to push the small circle down on his head, which only resulted in the crown completely falling apart. James's eyes widened as the petals rained down from his head onto his lap. The three women stared at him in silence for a few seconds, then Lily and Alena burst out in laughter.

* * *

Lily was about to break out in hives. There were less than two weeks left until the Qualifier now. She knew that there was literally no reason for them not to win it, since most top teams received byes for Nationals, thus didn't have to attend any qualifying events. And even if for some reason they flopped at the Qualifier, the top five teams advanced to Nationals, and they would have to flop genuinely really bad to place out of the top 5.

So, yeah, Lily realised that she should not be this stressed over it, but she couldn't help it. She felt like this was the moment that would make or break their partnership. She knew that when she saw those protocol sheets — where their scores would be fleshed out — she would decide right then and there whether she should stick it out for the rest of the season or run for the hills.

Lily and James were reworking the exit to the straight line lift in their free dance. Minerva had told Lily they should wait to make any more tweaks to the program until after the Qualifier, but Lily couldn't resist, and she had convinced the woman to let her try something.

Lily stood on James's upper right thigh. He glided on the ice on a straight line, bent into a Besti squat, which meant his thighs were parallel to the ice. He held on to Lily's ankle firmly, her free leg stretched out behind her.

Lily took a deep breath, she had to be careful not to move her foot too much as not to slash James with her blade, but she also had to make sure she didn't fall as she jumped off his thigh.

Many things happened at once. Lily jumped off James's thigh. Or well, she tried to. It had been too late when she realised the back of her blade had caught on James's pant pocket. When James felt the pull at his sweatpants, he tried to hold on to Lily's leg to keep her from jumping, but it had been too late. The only thing he could do was drop to the ice and break Lily's fall with his own body.

Lily slammed hard into James's chest. They both groaned. "What did you do that for? You're gonna reaggravate your back injury," Lily chastised.

James smiled. "I couldn't well let you break that pretty face of yours."

Lily rolled her eyes and stood up.

"Oh my god, James did you drop Lily? Moony, you owe me ten quid!" Sirius's voice resonated through the rink.

_Et tu, Remus?_ Thought Lily.

Minerva had already rushed over to them. "Oh, are you both alright?"

James had gotten up, and after quickly examining them superficially, Minerva sighed in relief. "James you better tell me if that back starts bothering you again, and Lily same with your hamstring."

Lily nodded absentmindedly.

"Well, you both might seem fine, but that was a scary fall, why don't we call it for today?"

Lily immediately started protesting. "We're fine, can't we do some off-ice training at least?"

"Alright, I want both of you to go down to the lake and take a paddleboat out for a spin."

Lily gaped at her coach.

"It's a good team-building exercise and a good leg workout. Off you go."

At this point, Lily was not even going to try to argue.

The boating lake wasn't too far from the rink. There weren't that many people on the boats since it was a Wednesday afternoon. Lily hadn't been on one of the boats in years, probably since she was a kid.

As they climbed into the bright yellow plastic boat, Lily eyed James worryingly as he stretched his back settling into his seat. "Are you sure your back is okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry about it."

Lily sat down, reaching for the pedals in her sneaker-clad feet. A chill ran through the air, and Lily shivered, she'd forgotten to bring her jumper.

"Here, take my jacket," James offered as he removed the item from his body.

Lily shook her head half-heartedly. "But then you'll be cold."

"I'll get into heat once we start this thing up."

Lily took the jacket without putting more much of a fight. Who was she to deny a jacket when she was cold?

"I'm sorry I dropped you."

Lily shook her head slowly. "It wasn't your fault."

They pedalled at a leisurely pace in silence. It was oddly calming for Lily. She could see Alexandra park in the distance, the only sounds were of the water and the insects and birds in the trees.

She dared a look at James. He was looking at the horizon too, the sun getting low atop of the trees in the park. Lily thought she had never seen him look so... still, so peaceful. It suited him.

Just for Lily's luck, James turned his head and caught her staring. There was something about his gaze that made her heart skip a beat. Usually, in practice, she would try to avoid James's eyes as often as possible, but right this moment there was something that didn't let her look away. James's hazel eyes seemed to almost glow in the sun, Lily had never noticed the small flecks of green around his pupils. James always seemed to express his emotions with looks, but Lily couldn't quite decipher what the intensity in his gaze at the moment was meant to convey, but it made her squirm internally.

Lily could feel a blush start to creep up her cheeks, she immediately looked down at her hands.

"Hey, you know the boat is supposed to move, right?"

Lily turned to see Sirius getting into one of the boats next to Melanie. She had never been more relieved to see Sirius Black.

James wasted no time in yelling back at his friend. "Why don't you come here and catch us then?"

At that moment, James picked up his pedalling pace, Lily tried to keep up at first, but she soon resolved it was best if she just let him pedal by himself and pulled her feet up on her seat.

Lily turned back to see Sirius and Melanie were catching up to them already. It seemed like Melanie had resolved to do the same thing as Lily and just let Sirius pedal.

Lily could hear the lake attendant yelling at them from the distance not to race, she thought about telling James off, but she had to admit, it was kind of fun.

Not far behind Sirius and Melanie, Lily caught sight of Thomas pedalling on another boat as if his life depended on it, Mary with her feet up on the seat beside him.

Sirius and Melanie were now right next to Lily and James. Sirius turned to James. "Prongsie, I think we're gonna need a bigger boat."

James looked at Thomas's boat. "Nothing a little manpower can't beat. Truce?"

Sirius nodded. He picked Melanie up easily and set her on the back of Lily and James's boat. James turned to Lily. "I'm sorry, Lily, but my crew needs me."

Lily rolled her eyes in response. James winked at her and jumped onto the other boat with Sirius. The yellow contraption shook upon James's impact, for a second Lily thought they were going to tip over, but James quickly sat and both boys started pedalling.

Melanie sat in James's vacated seat. "They are literal children."

Lily chuckled.

Melanie frowned. "Why are you so red? Did James say something... inappropriate? Because I'll beat him up."

Lily shook her head. Melanie may have been small and cute, but Lily knew Pairs girls were not to be crossed, no matter what they looked like. "No, it's nothing."

Melanie eyed her friend curiously.

Both girls' heads snapped to the side as they heard a high-pitched shriek. James and Sirius were trying to pull Thomas off his boat into the water and had splashed a bunch of water into the boat, and Mary had shrieked in fear of getting water on her hair.

"Potter, Black, I swear to god, if you drop Mary in the lake, I will rip your heads off," Lily yelled.

Melanie grabbed Lily's arm suddenly. All six teenagers turned at the sound of a shrill whistle. Two of the lake attendants were waving a flag at them, one of the women had a whistle in her mouth. They all froze.

James yelled, "scram!"

Lily and Melanie quickly put started pedalling again, giggling as the screech of the whistle started getting more and more desperate.


	8. Vancouver Tessa & Sochi Scott

The National Qualifier crept up on Lily. Two weeks of preparations passed in a flash. Before she'd known it she'd been on a train to Sheffield with James and Malcolm – yes, the Qualifier wasn't nearly important enough for their main coach to go with them.

She'd felt like she'd been in a trance the entire two days of competition. She kept going over every single one of their elements during her downtime. Minerva still wasn't entirely pleased with their twizzles but had accepted them as they were for the time being.

Lily would probably say their lifts were their best element yet. After she'd fallen on the straight line lift exit, she had been nervous to try it again, she wanted to do it, but she couldn't help but eye James's pants pocket warily before he picked her up. James had surprised her though when he'd caught her looking, he'd pulled on the fabric of his pocket a little to show the little disruptor had been sewn shut, and then he'd proceeded to tell her he'd had all his pants' pockets sewn shut. Lily had been so shocked, she'd only responded with an, "oh."

Their step sequences were also a little rough, but she tried to tell herself there was nothing she could do about it at the moment.

As predicted by everyone in the world, they'd won the Qualifier easily. When Lily looked at their protocol sheets though, she wasn't as sure of the direction she wanted the partnership to go in as she'd thought.

She and James had been quiet on the train back home. He had looked at the protocols but hadn't pored over them as intensely as Lily had. Their scores weren't bad, but they weren't as high as Lily had hoped. They'd missed one key point in the Ravensburger Waltz, and none of their step sequences had been level four – the highest – all of which had cost them several technical points. Lily would've liked for their component scores to have been a little higher too. The only section of the program components that she had been entirely pleased with had been their skating skills score, at an 8 and 8.15 in the short dance and free dance respectively. Their performance and interpretation scores had just been sad though.

Now, Lily wiped tables at the diner as she looked at the clock, waiting for the second she could go home. It was a surprisingly slow night for a Saturday, but Lily guessed that was more due to the fact that it was Halloween and people were out partying or trick-or-treating or whatever it was people did on Halloween.

Amita, Lily's co-worker, a woman in her early thirties, approached Lily as she stepped behind the counter. "Hey, look who just walked in."

Lily looked in the direction in which Amita had just wiggled her brows. A boy around Lily's age, with blond hair and kind blue eyes, had just sat at his usual table. Lily knew he was a regular, but as he seemed her age, she'd expected him to be out partying tonight.

"He's sat in your section though."

"I'll trade you for the next customer that sits in your section," there was a mischievous glint in Amita's eyes.

Lily raised a brow. "Why?"

Amita shrugged. "He's cute and you haven't dated anyone since Eugenie, and that was almost a year ago."

Lily huffed but headed over to the blond's table without another word. Lily tried to avoid thinking about Eugenie as much as possible. She'd been a French skater who had trained at Alexandra Palace for about a year, Lily had dated her for half that time. Eugenie had been so independent and free-spirited and cool, Lily had been obsessed with her from the moment she saw her. But then she'd split up with her partner and moved back to France. Lily had thought they were going to do long-distance, but Eugenie had had other plans. It still stung, but a little less with time.

Lily took out her notepad as she reached the boy's table. "Hi, what can I get you?"

He looked up, an easy smile on his face. "Just a black coffee for now, please."

Lily nodded and walked away.

Amita grabbed Lily's arm as she returned to get the coffee carafe. "What was that? You barely talked to him!"

Lily shrugged. "What was I supposed to say?"

"I don't know just be flirty! Smile or something."

Lily scoffed. "Fine."

She went back to the table and poured the coffee.

"Hey, can you help me with something really quickly? I mean, if you have time," the boy said.

Lily looked up at the rest of her tables, only one was occupied, which she knew already. "Sure."

He smiled. "Take a seat, please." He motioned to the seat in front of his.

Lily looked over at the counter. She didn't know where the manager was, but Amita nodded at her enthusiastically, probably having inferred what was happening. Lily sat, setting the carafe on the table.

"I'm Luke," he said.

"Lily."

"You see, Lily, I'm writing a play about a dysfunctional family and one of the main characters is a teenage girl who has a terrible thoughtless boyfriend, and I'm having some trouble figuring out what the girl's no-bullshit best friend would advise her about said boyfriend. You seem like a no-bullshit kind of person – in a good way – so I'm wondering what you would say in that situation if you were the friend," Luke explained.

Lily cringed a little at the words 'play about a dysfunctional family' but decided she would humour the guy. She inhaled. "I guess if it were one of my friends, I would tell her to get a grip and that I know she's a lot smarter than to date that kind of guy. Probably throw in something about how she deserves the entire the world."

His fingers seemed to breeze over his keyboard as he typed, excitedly. "So, girls really do say those things to each other, normally? About how great they think the other is."

Lily couldn't help a small smile. "Have you never seen two drunk girls in a pub bathroom? Even if they're complete strangers, they'll praise each other to high heavens." This warranted a chuckle from Luke. "But, really, yes, even if we casually call each other bitches or whatever, we tend to remind each other constantly how great the other is."

Luke smiled. "That's beautiful."

Lily cocked her head. "Yeah, I guess."

He typed something else. "Thank you so much for that. I really want my script to have a woman's input."

Lily nodded and stood up. "No problem."

Not even a half-hour later, Lily was almost dozing off at the counter when the door opened, carrying in a few laughs Lily was all too familiar with.

She looked up to see Mary, Melanie, and Yuna walk in, all decked out in full Halloween costume. Yuna was a fairy, Melanie was dressed in all black but Lily wasn't sure what she was supposed to be, and Mary in an elaborate witch queen costume, or somewhere along those lines.

The three girls approached Lily at the counter. Mary smiled cheekily. "Hey, babe, we're here to rescue you."

Lily smiled bitterly. "You know I can't, I've still got two hours left in my shift, and I need the money, James and I have two international competitions tentatively lined up without even counting any major championships."

"Lily, if you stay here, you're going to keep thinking about the Qualifier, which you shouldn't do, because it went great, and there's no use."

Amita approached them. "Go, I'll cover for you."

Lily frowned. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's a quiet night, you should go have fun with your friends. It's Halloween."

Lily wrapped Amita into a quick hug. "Thank you so much."

Lily quickly tore off her apron, grabbed her handbag, and stepped out from behind the counter.

As they walked towards the exit, Luke threw a smile and a nod in Lily's direction, which Lily couldn't help but return.

* * *

Lily hadn't asked her friends what they wanted to do before agreeing to go with them. She hadn't minded when they said they were going to a party, but when she heard the boys were going to be there she immediately tried to back out. She did not want to see James yet. She hadn't seen him since they'd gotten back from Sheffield the previous day, and she hadn't even complained when Minerva had given them Saturday off.

"Come on, Lily, I promise we'll only be there for about an hour. We want to go watch movies at our place either way," Mary pleaded.

Lily groaned. "But I don't even have a costume."

"Oh, you could wear your white free dance dress from a few years ago, it kind of looks like Tessa's Mahler costume, you could wear a gold medal and say you're Tessa," Melanie suggested.

Lily halted. That actually wasn't such a good idea. "Okay, but the hour for the party starts counting now."

All three girls gasped. Mary yelled, "no! Hurry up, guys!"

Lily's old skating dress really did look quite a bit like Tessa Virtue's 2009-2010 free dance dress, which may or may not have been intentional. If she'd had more time, she would've probably tried to get a brunette wig to really look like Tessa, but at least her eyes were as green as hers. The girls tried to convince her to bring her skates as props, but Lily refused. She wasn't going to wear them, since that would be impractical, and carrying them around the whole time would be too much of a hassle. She settled for white sneakers.

The Halloween party was at one of the hockey players from Alexandra Palace's house. Which made Lily think the main reason for them to attend this party was so that Mary could talk to Xander.

The party was already in full swing as they walked in. Unsurprisingly, most of the attendees were hockey players who were already drunk enough to start wilding out. It didn't even take two minutes for Mary to spot Xander and run off with him.

Melanie and Yuna wanted to dance, and Lily promised to join them right after she got a drink. Lily very rarely drank, as her schedule did not allow time for her to nurse hangovers. But this time, she slipped a bit of rum into her coke.

"Lily," James had suddenly appeared in front of her.

"Hey." She tried so hard not to see 'Performance 7.25, Interpretation 7.35' across James's forehead as she looked at him, but she couldn't quite help it.

James gave her a look that made her squirm. "Are you supposed to be... Tessa?"

Lily nodded. "The red hair kind of ruins it, but, yeah."

"I think it looks great," James said quickly. "I mean, you kind of have the same... vibe as her."

Lily raised a brow and nodded. "What are _you_ supposed to be?"

James looked down, bashful. "Actually, I'm supposed to be Scott."

Lily looked at James's outfit. He was wearing black trousers held by suspenders, a white dress shirt, and a bowtie. "You're Sochi Scott though."

"Yup. I know it's the lazy man's costume but I didn't have time to plan much."

"I like it." Lily had no idea why she just said that.

James cleared his throat. "You should see Sirius's costume, he's Tarzan."

Lily's eyes widened. "So, you're telling me Sirius Black is running around here somewhere half-naked?"

"Yup."

"Well, I have to leave immediately all of a sudden."

James laughed. He opened his mouth, as if he wanted to say something else, but thought better of it. There was a loud cheer coming from somewhere along in the house. "I... guess I'll see you Monday, then."

Lily nodded and sipped her drink. James walked away.

"Lily! Come on!" Yuna called out to Lily. She and Melanie were dancing.

Lily smiled and walked over to Mary. Taylor Swift's I Knew You Were Trouble was playing.

Lily joined her friends who were belting out the song. She gleefully screamed along with the _oh, oh, ohs_.

When the song was over, one of the hockey players hosting the party stood at the coffee table and yelled for everyone's attention. "Listen up everyone, we're having a couple's costume contest, yell out who you think should win. We'll judge by applause and whoever wins gets, uh... Abbott's dad's fancy whiskey!"

A weak protest from Abbott was drowned out by cheers. Lily tried not to roll her eyes.

People immediately started yelling out the names of a lot of people Lily didn't know.

Mary had suddenly appeared beside Lily. She gasped. "Oh my god, Lily, is James dressed as Scott?"

Lily eyed her friend warily. "Uh, yeah. Sochi Scott."

A shit-eating grin spread across Mary's face. "Lily and James will compete!"

Lily grabbed Mary's arms to stop her from yelling.

Yuna and Melanie immediately looked around at the crowd in search of James.

"It isn't a couples costume, I'm Vancouver Tessa and he's Sochi Scott!" Lily argued.

Yuna gasped as she found James and called him over. She turned to Lily. "You can say it's like a different take, you wanted to represent the two different eras of Tessa and Scott's Olympic journey."

Lily frowned. "But we didn't! It was an accident."

Her friends waved her off. Melanie nudged her. "Come on, Lily, they're great costumes!"

Lily knew their costumes were good, they were just not _couples costumes_.

James was suddenly beside the girls. "Hey, ladies."

The three girls immediately latched onto Lily and James's arms, as if offering them as tributes. The coffee table guy finally acknowledged them. He gave Lily and James a once-over and frowned. He turned back to the crowd. "Alright, to all the figure skaters here in figure skating costumes, those _do not_ count as Halloween costumes, you cannot compete!"

There were a series of boos and Lily realised that there were a few other figure skaters from the Palace there.

There was a gasp from somewhere in the crowd. "Oh my god, they're Tessa and Scott, let them compete!"

The girl who had spoken was a skater whom Lily had never talked to but now had been added to Lily's list of enemies.

Coffee table guy relented. "Okay, fine, you can come up, whatever."

Lily looked at the three other couples who had gone up to the front of the crowd. There were two dressed as salt and pepper, then another two as Han Solo and Leia, and the last ones Lily couldn't quite tell, but they were wearing very slutty costumes. Lily hoped Han and Leia would win.

Lily's friends pretty much pushed her all the way to the front.

Coffee table guy had them get up on the table with them so everyone could see them. He turned to them. "So, here's Lily and James dressed as..."

"Vancouver Tessa and Sochi Scott!" Mary yelled out.

"I don't know what that means."

Lily huffed and raised her voice. "Olympic champion ice dancers Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir, specifically, me representing Tessa at the Vancouver Games, and James, Scott at the Sochi Games."

Coffee table guy nodded. "Right. Let's hear it for Tessa and Scott!"

They didn't have very many fans, but they cheered quite loudly. Lily spotted Sirius in his Tarzan loincloth whooping loudly from the back. His costume left very little to the imagination. And now that was in Lily's brain forever. She looked away.

Lily and James stepped down from the table. The rest of the couples went up one by one, and Lily went to stand with her friends. She whispered to Mary, "you will pay for this, Mary Ann."

Mary giggled.

The couple in the slutty costumes ended up winning. Mary protested loudly but was ignored by the party hosts.

"Well, let me at least get a picture of you guys together."

Lily frowned.

"You can do the Mahler starting pose!" Yuna piped up.

 _Oh, thank god for Yuna_ , thought Lily. She always knew exactly what her friends needed.

Lily and James stood about two feet apart, back to back. Lily looked up at the nasty ceiling, delicately spread her arms at her sides and tried to mimic Tessa's dreamy expression from the Vancouver free dance. She only hoped James was putting in as much effort as her, otherwise, she'd look pretty stupid. She heard Mary's camera click way more times than necessary. "Done!"

James looked in Sirius's direction. He'd just gotten up on the dining table and was starting to dance. He turned to the girls. "You better send me that picture Mary."

"I'll send it to the Minnie and Mal Show group chat."

Lily's eyes widened. She opened her mouth to argue but decided to let this one go. It was just a picture, after all. They'd probably send more from the night to the chat, and realistically, it'd get lost in the thousands of memes Sirius sent to the group on the daily.

James went to join his friends. Lily's friends put their arms around her. "Please don't kill us, babe."

They left the party before eleven o'clock. The four girls took the tube to Melanie's neighbourhood. If it wasn't far from the rink, they would probably hang out at Melanie's house the most, since Mary lived there too, but they usually only went if they'd been somewhere other than the rink and weren't planning on going afterwards – which wasn't often –.

They stopped to buy some pizza at a place a few blocks away from the house and carried it as they walked the nearly deserted streets. As they walked in, Melanie's mum greeted them, holding her tiny Chihuahua in her arms. "Oh, my favourite girls are here!"

"Well, thanks for that, mum."

Lily looked around Mrs McKinnon to see Melanie's older sister, Marlene sitting in the living room.

Mrs McKinnon turned to Marlene. "Well, I'm sorry, sweetheart, but ever since you started college full-time, you've become a dreadful bore to hang out with." She turned back to the girls. "It's always 'I've got to graph this' and 'I have deadline, mum, I can't make margaritas with you at eleven at night'!"

Lily laughed. Marlene did seem to be working on her laptop.

Mrs McKinnon smiled widely. "But you girls keep me young."

After being thoroughly hugged by Mrs McKinnon, the girls went to greet Marlene. Lily had only ever told this to Mary, but when she was fourteen she'd had the biggest crush on Marlene, who had been eighteen at the time. And honestly, she still got a little bit flustered whenever she saw the girl, which wasn't a lot anymore since she'd retired from competitive skating and only stopped by the Palace once in a while.

In fairness, most of the boys at the Palace had also fancied Marlene. With her long legs and flowy brown hair and piercing blue eyes, it was hard not to be attracted to her. For a split second Lily wondered if Marlene would be willing to date her now that she'd grown up, but she knew Marlene probably wouldn't date a seventeen-year-old. Lily sighed internally. She'd hold out hope in a couple of years.

Lily greeted Marlene and tried to act normally.

"We'll be upstairs, we're gonna watch scary movies," Melanie announced to her mother and sister and started up the stairs.

"Maybe I'll join you guys later if I finish this soon," Marlene said. Yuna and Mary cheerfully agreed. Lily managed a small smile and a nod.

What was it with her love life poking its head out today? First, Amita with her insistence on that boy, which had led her to think about Eugenie – and Lily had only avoided moping about her because of her friends' distraction – and now she ran into her very first lady crush and probably the person she'd been the most attracted to (after Eugenie) in her life.

The girls had a brief debate over whether to settle in Mary's or Melanie's room. Mary's room had been Melanie's eldest sister Miriam's room when she still lived at the house, but she'd gladly relented it to Mary when she'd moved in.

In the end, they went to Melanie's room, since all the blankets and pillows for sleepovers were there.

As they arranged their spread in front of the TV, Yuna turned to Lily. "So, you said you'd know if you'd stick out the season with James after the Qualifier."

Lily grimaced, almost reflexively. "Yeah, I know. But our scores... were weird. I don't really know what to think."

Yuna cocked her head in thought. "Weird how?"

Lily frowned. "Well, our skating skills score was a lot higher than our performance and interpretation ones. And I don't think I've ever even seen that before, like, how does that even happen?"

"But, overall, were the scores good?"

"Yeah, they were good. Higher than I ever got with John. I was expecting more, but they were objectively good."

"So..."

"I want to wait until after Tallinn, at least. I guess. See how we do internationally."

"And does James know that you might not stay with him the rest of the season?"

Lily averted her eyes. When Yuna said it, she felt like she was being the asshole in this situation. "Well, he told me I can leave at any time if I'm not comfortable. But we generally agreed that depending on what happens at Nationals, we'll see."

Yuna nodded slowly.

Lily thought for a moment before speaking again. "Do you know what happened with him and Catherine exactly? Last time I saw them they seemed okay."

Yuna shrugged. "No one really knows. She just stopped showing up one day. James seemed quite upset, but he never said anything specific to anyone. I know they still talk often, Remy told me."

Lily nodded. Huh, that was... interesting.

Mary and Melanie walked over from where they'd been browsing movies. Melanie held up two DVDs. "So, The Conjuring or The Shining?"

"The Conjuring." Lily and Yuna replied immediately.

Melanie scoffed. "You guys have absolutely no taste. You wouldn't recognise a good filmé if it hit you in the face."

Mary laughed. "Shut up, _dudebro_. The Conjuring is literally a masterpiece."

Melanie huffed and shook her head but went to put the disc in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave kudos and comments if you like. I genuinely really love reading everyone's comments !!


	9. First Pancake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is officially the longest I've written for this story, it was actually originally almost twice as long, but I ultimately decided to split it into two chapters. I'm not even sure where the hell I pulled these next two chapters from, but I really like them and hope you all enjoy them.
> 
> Also, I've linked a video edit for what I envision Lily and James's short dance to look like. I apologise for my lack of editing skills, I did what I could.

[(Lily and James's short dance, if you're interested)](https://drive.google.com/file/d/17R7JOue6KUBLYUjs0InW4YQzgpOBUOx4/view?usp=sharing)

(Also, if you haven't already, please [donate and sign](blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/#) petitions asking for justice for George Floyd and the many other innocent black people killed at the hands of the police)

* * *

The next couple of weeks passed by in a flash. In what felt like the blink of an eye for Lily, she was on a plane to Estonia with James and Minerva.

Two weeks hadn't been exactly long enough for them to work on all the things she wanted to. Their lifts were as good as they could get. Their pattern dance was good. Their step sequences were marginally better. And there had been some significant improvement on their twizzles.

The Tallinn Trophy wasn't a super popular competition and since it was in the middle of the Grand Prix series, no top skaters would be in attendance. In fact, Lily expected they would get a medal. She didn't want to curse it, but she felt like they had a pretty good shot. Not gold, the most plausible was bronze but she thought silver wasn't such a far-fetched idea.

Lily wished her mum were there. But she hadn't attended an out of town competition with Lily for a long time. Her skating was expensive as it was, and Mrs Evans couldn't afford to take the time off work.

Lily had missed international competitions. It had been a year almost to the day since she'd last attended an international competition. She loved the atmosphere of being around all the skaters from a plethora of other countries and getting to travel to nice places was an added bonus. She'd never been to Estonia, she'd been supposed to go. She and John had been assigned to compete at Junior Worlds in Tallinn the previous season but had ended up withdrawing since they, well, split up.

Lily had been disappointed when they'd drawn fourth for the short dance starting order. She felt like it was a bad omen. In this particular case, the draw had been completely random, but that probably wouldn't stop the judges from being more lenient on the last group of skaters.

The morning of the short dance, Lily had surprised herself by being quite calm. She'd called her mother earlier and she'd just kept telling herself it is what it is. Whatever happens, happens. And she'd managed to keep that sense of calm up until they'd taken their starting positions for the short dance. Then disaster had struck.

Well, to the untrained eye, it probably didn't look like a disaster at all. Lily had enjoyed about thirty seconds of everything going well, then they'd started the second set of the Ravensburger Waltz. And Lily couldn't quite say _what_ happened, because she really wasn't sure.

They'd been in hold, facing each other, Lily's next key point had been coming up. And James had given her... a look. Honestly, she had no idea what was wrong with her. The only plausible explanation was that her brain had short-circuited.

She really had no idea what it had been she'd seen in James's eyes at that moment. They'd run through this pattern a million times before and she'd never had an issue. She couldn't tell if James was trying to amp up the performance, but there'd been something in his eyes... an intensity.

Lily still tried to avoid looking into his eyes for too long, but she'd gotten more used to meeting his gaze with the two months they'd been skating together. It had just been this moment specifically that luck hadn't been on their side. He'd been looking at her as he sometimes did; like Lily was some fascinating creature he'd never seen before. And Lily had just happened to meet his gaze at that particular moment – which she did sometimes – but had made the fatal mistake of not looking away in a second. She'd held his gaze. That's probably when her brain short-circuited. When she made the subconscious decision not to look away from him. Maybe she was trying to amp up the performance as well, but she should've known better.

She definitely should've known better. Because for a moment she'd felt feint. She'd looked away finally when she had to do a double twizzle which meant she was briefly out of James's arms. She genuinely thought she was going to pass out then. She didn't. But she did lag behind James on the dance, just a few seconds, but enough for them to lose their timing, and James not manage to take her back into hold. Lily had realised her mistake immediately, but for a second her legs failed to respond to her brain's commands. It had been James who had stretched out his arm and pulled her back into hold a little roughly. Lily noticed right away that he held her a little tighter than usual as if trying to hold her together. His hand covering the back of her dress almost entirely.

There'd only been a quick flash of worry in his eyes as they got back into the pattern. As competitive skaters, they'd both been taught their entire careers not to let mistakes get into their heads. Whatever happened, happened, and if you let it affect the rest of your program, you'd end up making things even worse for yourself. James was good at brushing off mistakes, Lily thought. And so was she, about half of the time. The rest of the program was good, no more mistakes, and though Lily was a little shaken, she tried her absolute hardest no to let it show.

She'd known though. Even though her mistake had been tiny, split-second, really, they had separated significantly during the pattern, which would for sure get them a one-point deduction. The split-second had also happened to be right when she'd been meant to be doing one of her key points, which that would surely get them a 'No' for that key point, and her making them lose their timing would mean that their remaining key point would be a 'Timing', which was just the same as a 'No'. So that'd be a level two Ravensburger Waltz. At best.

Lily felt like crying at the end of the program. She'd done her bows half-heartedly and rushed to get off the ice.

Despite the name, Lily had never actually cried in a Kiss & Cry. She might've when she was younger, but there was no video evidence of that, so it didn't count. But as she sat on the hard blue blob they called a couch she knew she had to hold it together. She held Minerva's hand tightly. She knew her mum was watching, and if Lily cried, she'd probably on a plane to Tallinn right that second. But she didn't cry. She smiled weakly and waved at the camera. She tried to stop herself from doing the maths in her head for what she thought their score would be and tried to listen to Minerva's comforting words.

Those two minutes sitting in the Kiss & Cry waiting for their scores had to be some of the most agonising of Lily's life. She'd made mistakes in programs before, but none had been as stupid and pointless as this one. She wanted to kick herself. She almost jumped when she heard the announcer lady's voice. "The scores please."

Lily took a deep breath as she looked up at the screen that would show their score. "Lily Evans, James Potter from Great Britain have earned in the short dance sixty-one point thirty-two points and they are currently in the first place."

32.84 technical and 29.48 components. And of course, the one-point deduction. That actually wasn't so bad. And of course, Lily wasn't misled by the words first place. They were currently in first out of four couples with eleven still to go. She'd expected to get something lower than they'd gotten at the Qualifier since domestic competitions tended to inflate scores a bit. And the technical was lower, but their components score was actually a tad bid higher. A pang went through Lily as she thought of the score they could've gotten if she hadn't made a mistake, or even if they hadn't gotten the deduction.

James hugged Lily briefly as they exited the Kiss & Cry. Lily was dying to see the protocols but knew they wouldn't come out until the event was over in some three hours.

"That was an... interesting score," Minerva said. "I think we should wait to see the protocols before we analyse anything too deeply. Do you want to go back to the hotel?"

Lily nodded quickly. She was thankful she didn't have to talk about it just yet. She'd been curious to watch some of the other competitors, but she'd lost that curiosity now.

Lily and James changed before taking a cab to their hotel along with their coach.

Lily was sharing a room with a girl named Mia, who was also from Team Great Britain and was competing in junior dance. Lily had met her a few times before, she was a nice kid. She wasn't there when Lily arrived though, probably still at the rink.

She flopped down on her bed and closed her eyes. She couldn't believe what had just happened. She'd fucked up majorly, because... what? She'd looked into James's eyes? She had no fucking idea how she was going to explain that to either James or Minerva.

There was a knock on the door and Minerva walked in. "I want to talk to you, Lily." She sat at the end of the bed. "It won't take long, come on."

Lily sat up. Not wanting to meet Minerva's eyes.

"I'm very disappointed with you."

Lily frowned deeply. A lump in her throat. "I'm so sorry. I don't even know what happened –"

Minerva cut her off. "I'm not disappointed with what you think I am. Every single skater makes silly mistakes occasionally. My brother once lost his balance in a step sequence at the Europeans because he got distracted by how the light reflected off the sparkles in my dress."

Lily cracked a smile. She was _so_ teasing Malcolm when they got back.

Minerva looked at Lily softly. "This was your first pancake, not only of the season but of your partnership, no one expected it to be flawless. In fact, for the first pancake, I think it was very good."

Lily suddenly felt like crying again. She nodded.

"What I _am_ disappointed about is your seemingly complete lack of interest in your partner the second the music turns off."

Lily's brows raised in surprise. "What?"

"The second you took your bows, you dropped his hand like it was on fire! You didn't even let him hold your hand for a second in the Kiss & Cry. In fact, you barely looked at him after you finished. How is that a united front?"

Lily could feel her ears burning in embarrassment. How was she going to explain to Minerva that she was scared if she looked into his eyes again, she might've actually passed out right then and there. She was right though. Lily had been freaking out too much to notice, but she had treated James a little coldly after they were done. "Well... I didn't know he even _wanted_ to hold my hand."

"You acted so cold towards him. Like you would combust if he even got near you." Minerva sighed. "Lily, I'm not only telling you this for the sake of your partnership but because if the judges think you two dislike each other, it might damage your reputation."

Lily hadn't even thought about that. She nodded. "Okay, I'll try to be more... friendly."

Minerva smiled. "Alright then. Now, I want you and James to go out and explore the city. The free dance practice isn't until tomorrow morning, you should go have some fun. That is an order. I'm going to go call Melanie and Sirius since their first practice in Moscow is probably over by now. If you two are still inside this hotel when I get off the phone, I will throw you out myself."

Lily gaped at her coach. Why was she always so adamant she and James spend time together off the ice?

Minerva left without another word. Lily laid back down on the bed. She really didn't feel like going out to explore the city with James. But if she stayed in the hotel room she'd probably start freaking out over the free dance ahead of time. And she did genuinely want to be a tourist around Tallinn.

Thinking back to Minerva's words, Lily did think she ought to be a little more relaxed around James. It was as if every time she was around him, there was something holding her back. Maybe it was the fear that if she was easier around him, she'd start actually liking him. And she'd spent way too much time determined on not liking him. But she supposed that was just her stubbornness talking.

Lily also figured she'd been waiting for James to do something to make her truly angry. But he'd changed a lot in the past months and so far, he hadn't really done anything as infuriating as he'd done in the past. And she was starting to figure he had actually changed for good. Which left her with no excuse not to be friendly with him.

Lily took some time to text her friends. She knew if she texted Mary she'd ask about the short dance since she'd probably watched it. So she settled for texting Melanie and Yuna, both of whom were at competitions themselves and probably hadn't watched. She didn't tell them about the short dance though, just asked how _their_ competitions were going. Yuna was at the Junior Japanese Nationals with Remus and Melanie at the Rostelecom Cup with Sirius in Moscow.

There was a knock on the door. Lily got up to answer. It was James.

"So, I heard we're supposed to go be touristy in the city."

Lily sighed. She looked down at her outfit and deemed her jeans and blouse acceptable. "Let me just go grab my handbag."

James grinned. "I didn't actually think you'd be in the mood."

Lily walked back into the room. "Well, I am."

She took her handbag, shoved a lipstick inside and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.

"So, where to first?" James asked.

* * *

In reality, neither Lily nor James had had time to research things to do in Tallinn, so they ended up going to the lobby of the hotel to get some information and were advised to head to Old Town, where most things worth seeing were.

Walking into Old Town felt very much like time travelling to medieval times. Of course, once you looked closely, you'd see all the small modern things that were unavoidable, like trash cans and signs. But it was still quite beautiful.

"Lily, you've been looking at that pamphlet for a _long time_ , it's starting to make me think you were serious about going to a museum," James said.

Lily frowned and put the pamphlet down. "Why _wouldn't_ I want to go to a museum?"

He shrugged. "Because... they're kinda boring."

Lily gaped at James. " _Excuse me?_ Museums are awesome."

James narrowed his eyes slightly. "I actually can't tell if you're being serious right now."

Lily let out a small huff of indignation. "You bet I am! Museums are the best places on Earth."

"I must turn to my previous argument; they are boring."

Lily crossed her arms over her chest. She was starting to regret agreeing to come here with James. "Museums are educational, entertaining, and amazing. I don't know how anyone couldn't love them."

James looked at her like she'd grown another head. Lily turned back to her pamphlet. She gasped. "Oh my god. Look at this."

James took the pamphlet. "Estonian Open Air Museum."

"It literally sounds amazing. I want to go so bad."

James read from the paper. "'Experience the everyday lives of casual villagers of 18th century Estonia in this wonderful museum surrounded by woods. There are already over 70 buildings in this recreational village, so visitors can get to know how locals lived, what they ate and where they got their education.' Actually, it does sound kind of good."

Lily frowned. "It's kind of far, though."

"We'll get a cab."

"We already took a cab to get here. That's going to be way expensive."

"An Uber, then."

"I'm pretty sure that's more expensive."

"An UberPool then."

Lily thought for a moment. "If we go, though, it'll be the only museum we visit since it's far and there are no others around it."

"Well, this is the only museum that sounds like I'm not going to be bored to death, so I say we go."

So, they hailed the UberPool.

They ended up in the car with a couple of American middle-aged tourists who were also visiting the Open Air Museum. Lily had never attempted to make conversation with strangers in public transportation, but James seemed to be quite enthralled in conversation with the American lady, talking about Tallinn and what they were planning on seeing.

"So how long are you and your girlfriend here for?" The plump, blonde woman asked James.

Lily tensed slightly and hoped James would correct the woman.

"Oh, we're actually leaving the day after tomorrow."

The woman seemed shocked. "Oh, so soon. Are you doing the whole Baltic tour?"

"No, we're not here as tourists, actually. We're athletes, we're here for a competition, we just had the afternoon off today."

The woman's eyebrows raised almost to her hairline. She was extremely impressed to hear that they were competitive figure skaters. Lily let James take most of the lady's many, many questions. But she seemed so curious and impressed by everything they said, that Lily couldn't help but answer a few questions herself.

Lily had no idea how by the time that they got to the museum, the Americans now knew that Lily and James had been partners for two months, that this was their very first competition together, what their music choices were, where they trained, and what major international medals they had. And in return, they knew that Mrs and Mr Simms were from Nashua, New Hampshire, had been married for forty-five years, Mrs Simms mother was British and she had been a fan of American skater, Peggy Fleming when she was a teenager. This exchange of information had only been possible because of Mrs Simms' ability to speak unbelievably fast.

When they went to purchase their tickets, James helped the Simms figure out their Euros, and Lily knew then that they had become the unofficial guides for the Americans.

Lily might not have been inside an actual classroom in years, but that didn't mean that she couldn't be a nerd. Her father had instilled in her the thirst for knowledge at a young age. She absolutely adored talking about history with her father for hours. And he was never hesitant to talk about it for hours, even if Lily had just asked a yes or no question about a historical event. The fact that her father was a university professor and had always stressed the importance on education was the main reason why Lily wanted to attend university, even if she ended up having a job in the skating world.

So, this place was unbelievably cool for her. She'd never seen a place like it. It was like travelling back in time. The only thing that looked out of place were the tourists with their modern clothes and phones out.

The wide field was splattered with farms and old houses and people walking around in full peasant costume. It was like something out of a movie. Her father would be _so_ jealous.

As they started going into the little houses, which were also made to look medieval on the inside, Lily became the Simms' official photographer. They wanted so many pictures that they'd actually left their camera with Lily indefinitely.

At some point, as they walked into one of the farms, Lily realised the Simms weren't with them anymore. She thought maybe they ought to look for them, but figured they'd find them again at some point.

As they entered the farm, Lily and James caught the end of an explanation on how to chop firewood. The Eighteenth Century farmer asked for volunteers for a demonstration, but of the families listening, none of the adults seemed too keen on it, the children did, but their parents probably weren't going to let them get near an axe.

The silence was starting to get awkward when James spoke up. "I'll do it."

Lily's eyes widened.

James walked up to the stump where a log stood. The farmer man handed him the axe.

Lily made her way to the front of the crowd. She actually had no idea if James would be able to do this. She discreetly took a picture as James raised the axe over his shoulder. She thought Mrs Simms might appreciate it.

James easily split the piece of wood clean through the middle. There was a collective impressed gasp, followed by a cheer amongst the children watching. Even the farmer clapped. "Yes! That was perfect!" He turned to the crowd. "Anyone else?"

_How hard could it be, really?_ If James could do it. "I'll go."

James eyed her warily as he handed her the axe. Lily only raised a brow defiantly in response. "Please, be careful."

Lily scoffed. The axe was heavier than she thought. She worried slightly. It wasn't like she was weak, she was an athlete, but she didn't need the strength to swing around an entire person for a program, so she didn't have the strength James did. God, if she failed at this she'd definitely start working out until she could do a reverse lift – which, yes, meant she would be the one lifting _him_.

Lily tried to mimic James's movements by lifting the axe over her shoulder as high as she dared.

Lily brought down the axe, but it got stuck into the log. She felt a blush over her neck.

James approached her. He unstuck the axe. "You need to lift it higher up and bend your knees." He handed it to her.

Lily sighed. She lifted the axe again. James arranged her arms before stepping back. "All your strength Lily."

This time, the blade went through almost cleanly. The kids cheered. Lily let out a bit of smile. James raised his hand for a high-five, and Lily conceded it.

They both thanked the farmer man and walked away as the group started to disperse.

"How'd you know how to do that?" Lily asked.

James shrugged. "My grandparents have a farm in Chile, I spend a lot of time there during the winter."

Lily frowned. "In the winter?" No one at the palace really vacationed during the winter, since it was the height of the skating season.

"Oh, I mean the winter there. Which is the summer in England."

Lily blushed. She knew she had _not_ just forgotten about the existence of the Southern Hemisphere in front of James. "Right, of course."

Thankfully, just then James's phone rang. He answered. "We're at the Kostrasieme farm. You have to go back and just through the pathway on the right of the farmhouse."

Lily frowned. Had he given his number to the Simms? When did that happen?

"Yeah, see you soon." He hung up.

So that was why the Simms had separated so easily.

On cue, the couple appeared. They were carrying some sort of deformed-looking bread in a basket. Mrs Simms smiled widely. "Oh, hello! Would you like to try some of the stuffed turnips we made?"

Lily eyed the golden-brown things and nodded along with James good-naturedly.

Lily didn't know what she expected a stuffed turnip to taste like, but it was definitely disgusting. She shared a distressed look with James, unsure of what to do with the piece of turnip in her mouth. James got a steely look in his eyes and swallowed. He made an effort to make a pleasing sound. "So good."

Mrs Simms' smile widened.

Lily nodded enthusiastically, trying to keep her face composed. She finally swallowed her bite.

Mr Simms said something to his wife in a low voice. She perked up. "Oh, yes. We were wondering if you knew around how much the tickets for your competition are and if there might be any left for tomorrow."

Lily's heart warmed. Did they want to go see them? "Um, I'm not sure, they can't be more than seven or eight Euros, though. And there were only about ten spectators today, so I seriously doubt they're sold out for tomorrow."

Mrs Simms seemed appalled. "Oh, now we definitely have to go! What time are you on?"

"Oh, we couldn't pull you away from your plans, weren't you going to the harbour tomorrow?"

Mrs Simms shook her head. "No, we have to go. You need support!"

Lily smiled. "The free dance starts at eleven in the morning, but we're skating in the last group so we'll go on at around 1:30. Don't worry if you can't make it, though."

Mr Simms pulled out his cell phone. "Could you give us the address?"

"I'll send it to you. So you can give it directly to the Uber," James said.

Ms Simms smiled. "Oooh, I'm so excited! I've never been to a figure skating competition!"

* * *

After checking out a few more farms, all four of them went to the medieval dinner together.

Once they sat, James took off his jumper. Lily was physically unable to unglue her eyes from James's torso as his shirt rode up a little. She frowned as she noticed something blue sticking to his back. "You didn't take off your KT tape."

James frowned momentarily. "Oh, shit. I forgot. Will you help me?"

Lily had never fought harder to keep a blush from her face. She saw Mrs Simms eying them, pleased, out of the corner of her eye. _Lily, if you don't answer in the next second, you're officially going to make this weird_. "Sure."

James had two bands of the athletic tape parallel to each other on his back, the bright blue colour contrasted against his slightly tanned skin. He only lifted his shirt slightly at his back.

Lily tried not to touch his skin too much as she pulled off the tape, but it was pretty impossible. _Shit_ , how was his back skin so soft?

Lily finished the job quickly. As James went to throw away the strips, Mrs Simms smiled mischievously at Lily. "I know you two aren't a couple. But I'm just saying, you would definitely fit well together. And imagine what your babies would look like! With your beautiful eyes and hair and his chiselled features, oh, that would be so beautiful!"

Well, that escalated quickly.

Lily was saved from having to respond by James's return. She had no idea what had given Mrs Simms that impression, but she supposed if that's what the woman saw, maybe she _could_ convey that on the ice too.

The farm food was kind of disgusting. Lily felt bad to only nibble at it, but she couldn't do it. The other three didn't seem entirely pleased by it, but they ate it.

Mrs Simms still had questions for Lily and James. Some skating related, some personal. She asked where they could purchase a British flag in Tallinn – they had no idea, and if spectators were allowed to throw flowers on the ice like at the Olympics – they had no idea either as they hadn't seen anyone _try_ that day. Then the conversation turned towards Lily and James's love life, and Lily just knew by the look on Mrs Simms eyes that she was trying to get one of them to break and admit they liked the other. She tried not to squirm in her seat.

"Well, James, I think one day you'll find the perfect girl for you, you're a fine young man." Mrs Simms was talking to James, but she looked directly at Lily when she said it. "What about you, hon, any boys knocking at your door?"

Lily smiled worriedly, looking down at her hands. She sincerely hoped her next words would go down well with the Simms, because she quite liked them, and it'd be a pity to cut ties with them. "Well, I had a girlfriend for a while, but we broke up late last year."

The Simms' shock was quite visible. Mrs Simms gaped at her. "Oh, why didn't you say anything? Our son is gay too!"

Lily smiled. "I'm actually not a lesbian, I'm bisexual."

Lily felt James sit up straighter on his seat and proceed to choke on his own spit. She frowned at him. _What was wrong with him?_ He coughed a few times, cleared his throat, and pretended at casualness.

Mrs Simms grin showed all her teeth. Lily started wishing she'd just let the woman believe she was a lesbian. "Oh, so no boys _or girls_ on the horizon?"

Lily's mind briefly flashed to Diner Luke and his kind eyes. "Not really. I mean, we're pretty busy with competition at the moment. It's an important season for us."

"Oh, of course, of course. Wouldn't it be ideal if you dated each other? Since you already spend so much time together?" Mrs Simms laughed, but Lily could tell she was absolutely serious.

Lily laughed nervously. She looked at James, who seemed to be thinking really hard about something, a slight frown across his face. "You know, actually I used to have a really big crush on Lily when we were younger."

Mrs Simms expression was as if she had just been told world peace had been achieved. "Oh! So you've known each other since you were young?"

James nodded slightly. "We started training in the same group when we were eleven. I think she was the first girl I ever fancied. It was the eyes, you know? The first time she looked at me, I felt like her eyes had pierced right through me. I gathered the guts to ask her out when we were thirteen, but she rejected me since I was a bit of a troublemaker and a pain in her, um, butt. I asked her again several times over the years but she never said yes."

Lily sat rigidly in her chair. Why was he telling these two middle-aged Americans they had just met in the middle of Estonia all this?

Mrs Simms looked like she was about to start shedding tears. She turned to Lily. "Oh, and would you ever say yes if he asked again?"

Lily averted her eyes. She needed the Earth to swallow her right then and there. "Um... I... don't know, well, I don't think we're the same people we used to be. We were probably around fifteen when he last asked and then we both got girlfriends for a while, and then he never asked again... after that." Lily was starting to put the dots together. _Oh shit._

Mrs Simms turned to James. "So, do you still like Lily?"

James cleared his throat and wiped his palms on his pants. "Oh, um – I, well – you see, I guess I –"

Lily had never seen James so flustered. _Shit_. _Did he_ still like her?

He cleared his throat again. Now all Lily, Mr and Mrs Simms were waiting for an answer. "You know, I think she's a... great person. And I have a lot of... admiration and respect for her. And any guy _or girl_ would be lucky to date her." He paused but continued as he realised no one was coming to rescue him. "Well, as Lily said, this is a very important season for us, so I don't think either of us is especially looking for a relationship at the moment."

Mrs Simms seemed unimpressed by his non-answer, but let it go. "Oh, well, I think one day you'll both realise what it is you truly want."

It was Mr Simms, who didn't speak up often, who took mercy on the two red-as-tomatoes teenagers and changed the subject.

Their love lives didn't come up again, thankfully. When dinner was done, the Simms announced their plans to leave as it was getting chilly and they wanted to get back to Old Town, where they were staying, early. Lily and James offered to go with them, but they insisted they enjoy the museum a little longer.

As they to another one of the farms, Lily tried not to ponder too much on what Mrs Simms had said. She just seemed to be _so_ sure that they liked each other. Lily had no idea if she was really behaving so differently around James for the woman to think that? The only thing that had changed was Lily's earlier resolution to start being nicer to James. But surely that didn't make it seem like… No, of course, not.

After all, how could a middle-aged woman she'd met in an UberPool only hours ago know _anything_ about her relationship with James?


	10. Deadbolts & Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've left a link below for my edit for Lily and James's Free Dance.

([Free Dance](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1FMsAPsqSwmouFtc9HiXiv-JAUoOyMmjG/view?usp=sharing))

* * *

They were kicked out of the museum not much longer after the Simms left. One of Lily's greatest rues about museums was how early they closed; she would've loved seeing this place after dark. But they took another UberPool back to Old Town since Lily still wanted to hit the Christmas Market before going back to the hotel.

It was already dark out when they arrived at Old Town. They walked through the market in silence at first. Lily looking at all the very cute trinkets and fighting the urge to buy everything. James had been quiet since dinner, and Lily had a slight feeling she knew the reason why. Although she'd be very embarrassed if it wasn't actually what she thought.

James's silence was starting to bug her.

She took a deep breath. "So... just out of curiosity, did you... did you think that I was a lesbian?"

James looked at his feet bashful. "Well, honestly... yeah."

Lily couldn't help the bout of laughter that escaped her. James relaxed slightly. She bit her tongue. " _Why?_ "

He shrugged exaggeratedly. "Well, you never labelled yourself because you never came out properly, there was no long Instagram post about how you hid this part of yourself and it was time to let the world know, _not_ that you're obligated to do that. We found out you were _not straight_ when you started dating Eugenie, and neither you nor your friends ever gave you a label, and believe me I've listened very closely, _not_ that you have to label yourself either. I just kind of judged by the fact that you still gossiped about boys with your friends that you definitely liked guys too, which I know is kind of dumb to judge by that, but back then I just really wanted you to like men as well. And I _did_ believe that."

Lily frowned. So what was the truth?

He took a breath. "Then earlier this year someone pointed out to me that you've never explicitly said to anyone that you _do_ like men and that I'd really just been assuming for the past few years. And I realised that was true and I felt really bad that I assumed you liked men as well."

"So, is that why you stopped asking me out?"

He nodded. "Well, I also realised you might not actually want to go out with me. I wanted to apologise to you for asking you out even when I technically knew you were gay, but I was kind of scared to bring it up. But, just so you know, I _am_ sorry."

Lily frowned. "You just learned that you don't actually have anything to apologise for."

He shook his head. "I should still apologise. For assuming. At least I wasn't stupid enough to ask you about it directly."

Lily laughed. "Well, it's not like I wanted to keep it a _mystery_ whether I did like men or not, I just really wasn't sure until not too long ago. But, yeah, sadly, I do like men."

James had now relaxed a lot more. "That's good to know."

"You're not planning on asking me out _now_ , are you?"

James smirked. "Oh, no, Lily. I've done my fair share of asking. If you want to go out with me, _you'll_ have to ask me."

Lily gaped at the boy as he walked ahead of her to check out a cookie booth.

As they went through the booths, Lily patted herself on the back for the amount of self-control she was exhibiting. So far, she'd only purchased two snowglobes, one pair of mittens, and two things of cookies. She still wanted to go through the entire place again in case she'd missed anything, but as she turned to James to tell him this a drop of water fell on her hand. She looked down at the ground to see a series of droplets littered it. "Oh, fuck."

The rain was starting to come down properly now. "Did you bring an umbrella?" James asked.

Lily scoffed. "Do you _see_ an umbrella on me?"

"Well, you could have one of those umbrellas that folds up into a tiny thing. You seem like you'd have that."

Lily tried to keep the rain off her hair with her arms. "Well, I don't!"

It was starting to get harder to hear with the noise of the water. People were scramming already.

James neared her, almost yelling to be heard. "We should get into one of the pubs." He nodded at what looked like a pub with a sign in Estonian that Lily couldn't read. She nodded.

They ran in and went straight for the only two seats left at the bar. Lily let out a breath as she sat down. James took her coat. She breathed into her hands and absentmindedly looked at the TV mounted in one of the corners of the bar. There was a football game on. The time was displayed at one corner of the screen. 9:36 PM. Something clicked in Lily's head. She gasped.

"What?" James asked as he sat down.

"I forgot about the protocols," Lily said in a tiny voice. She scrambled to get her cell phone out of her pocket. Minerva had texted them to her earlier but she hadn't seen the notification.

She moaned in distress as the pdf file charged.

"Lily, calm down, you already know the score either way."

Lily didn't dignify that comment with a reply. The document loaded. She looked at the first page. "We're in second! Oh my god."

"That's good. Right?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Yes, of course, it's good." Her eyes quickly scanned all the little numbers on the page. There were seven judges and each of them gave a Grade of Execution – or GOE – that ranged from minus three to plus three. "I think our highest GOE was for the first section of the waltz, as expected. We didn't get negative GOE on anything! We only got... three zeros on the second section of the waltz. We also got one three on the lift!"

James leaned over Lily's shoulder to look at the document.

"I think it's quite good. For having had a major mistake and a deduction," Lily said.

James sat back in his chair. "I wouldn't call it a _major_ mistake."

Lily locked her phone and side-eyed James. "If it led to a deduction, it _is_ a major mistake."

"We weren't hit too hard on the GOE though."

Lily leaned on the bar and looked at the menu in front of her. "I am sorry though. It was a really stupid mistake. I don't know what came over me."

"'S okay. It was the first pancake."

Lily smiled bitterly. She looked at James. "Yeah, but is it such a crime to _want_ your first pancake to go well? When I make pancakes I sure don't _want_ the first one to turn out bad. It does, but you still damned _try_ to make it turn out nice."

James chuckled. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I just don't want you to beat yourself up about it. We've still got tomorrow."

Lily looked at the time again. "Speaking of, this rain better let off soon, because we need to get a good night's sleep."

They both looked out the windows where the rain was still pouring pretty hard.

* * *

It didn't let off.

Lily had started looking longingly every time a person with an umbrella left. She and James had had to order three drinks each so they wouldn't get thrown out. Lily had thought she'd ordered an alcohol-free drink, but after she'd sipped it, she realised that was not the case. But it was really good, and the barkeep hadn't carded her. So she stuck to it. Now, after three drinks she'd started feeling a little buzzed. Not quite tipsy, but definitely buzzed.

Lily had considered just getting an Uber and running to it, but they'd definitely get soaked and then they'd get thrown out of the Uber.

When the rain finally started to slow down, James couldn't find an Uber anywhere closer than thirty minutes. But it was 1:30 AM and Lily was starting to get desperate. So they asked the barkeep and got instructions on which public transportation to take to get to Tondiraba.

As they boarded the bus on the street corner, Lily found that she wasn't nearly as anxious as she normally would've been in this situation, which was probably the fault of the Estonian fruity drink.

"It doesn't feel real that just this morning we competed for the first time as partners," James said. As soon as he sat down, he started manspreading, and Lily would've said something, but the bus was nearly empty, so she did have enough space either way.

"I know."

"How do you feel about tomorrow?"

Lily sighed. She felt her chest tighten. "I... actually have a really good feeling about it."

James smiled. "Yeah, me too."

Lily looked away from him. He was starting to get that look in his eyes again. And Lily wasn't sure if it was the alcohol, but her entire body felt like jelly. She pushed at James's leg with her own. His thigh was almost horizontal against the seat. "Stop manspreading."

He shrugged. "There's no one here!"

"Still a nasty habit."

The bus came to a stop. They were in Tondiraba, but Lily wasn't quite sure what direction their hotel was in. "Are you sure you know how to get to the hotel?"

"Yeah, of course." He got up.

Lily tried to keep calm as they exited the bus to the deserted street. At least the street lighting was good. She instinctively wrapped her hand around James's arm. They walked a few blocks in silence. "Are you sure this is the way?"

"Yeah, I remember it was Vilisuu street and then... a right turn and a couple of streets over."

Lily eyed him worriedly but didn't say anything since she didn't want to argue. A group of three loud men turned the corner and walked along the sidewalk in the opposite direction of Lily and James. They were laughing and talking loudly in Estonian. James freed his arm from Lily's grip and wrapped it around her instead. His hand rested at her waist and very slightly tugged her into his side.

The three men leered at Lily, they spoke among themselves but didn't address her or James. Lily exhaled as they went out of sight. James took out his phone. "Yeah, okay, it's two blocks that way." He let go of her. Lily kind of didn't want him to.

The hotel was, in fact, two blocks that way. Lily texted Minerva to let her know they'd arrived.

James walked Lily to her door and handed her the plastic bag of the things she'd bought. She was about to take out her key card when she remembered something. "Fuck. Mia texted me earlier to tell me she was going to sleep and to call her when I got here so she could remove the deadbolt."

"Why don't you try it? Maybe she forgot."

Lily pulled the key card into the slot but, as expected, it didn't budge.

James shrugged. "So, call her."

"I'm not gonna wake her at 2:00 AM, she competes tomorrow too," Lily said.

"Just sleep in my room then."

Lily frowned. "What? No!"

"Come on, I know you're really tired and I am too, so let's just go. You can have my bed, I'll sleep on the sofa."

Lily thought for a moment. "You have to take care of your back, though, you can't sleep on the sofa."

James sighed. "I'll sleep in Peter's bed, then."

"Are you really _that_ close friends with Peter?"

"We used to be really good friends back when he was still at Ally Pally. I'm sure he won't mind."

Lily let out a small sigh. "Fine."

James led the way down the hallway to his room.

Under normal circumstances, Lily probably would've come up with a better solution, but she felt like she was about to fall asleep on her feet, so she didn't even bother trying to think.

James opened the door and took Lily's hand. "Be careful, there's a lot of stuff on the floor."

Lily nearly tripped over several things in the dark but made it safely to the empty bed. James walked over to what Lily believed was his suitcase. He handed her a bundle of clothes. "Here, you can't sleep in those clothes."

Lily's first instinct was to reject the clothes, but he was right, she did _not_ want to sleep in jeans.

She dragged herself to the bathroom and changed into James's clothes, which were simple flannel pants and an old Toronto Maple Leafs shirt. She then tried her best to take her makeup off with just water.

James sat on the bed where Peter snored lightly. "'Night," he whispered.

Lily laid down and was asleep within seconds.

* * *

Lily's pillow was vibrating.

She frowned, refusing to open her eyes just yet. But the vibrating wasn't slowing down. She reached under the pillow and pulled out her phone. She opened her eyes just enough to see Minerva's name on the caller ID. She picked up.

"Lily! Where are you? Mia told me you weren't there when she woke up and that she's not sure if you came in at all last night. The bus to the rink's already left, we're going to have to take a cab."

This made Lily wake up properly. "I am _so_ sorry. We'll be right down, I promise."

Minerva started to say something, but Lily hung up. James wasn't on the other bed. She sat up.

He was sleeping on the sofa on the other side of her bed. She threw a pillow at him. "Wake up!"

He jumped up as the pillow hit him in the face. "I'm up, I'm up."

Lily got up. She wanted to ask how he'd ended up on the sofa, but there was no time. She gathered her stuff. "We're late. Minerva's waiting for us in the lobby, hurry up!"

James scrambled up from the sofa. Lily then noticed that he wearing only boxers. Which she was _not_ prepared for. Her heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest. Lily had seen a lot of half-naked men in her life. Not because she was a slut or anything. But usually, during competitions, it was kind of usual for everyone to have very limited space to change. But looking at James's toned bare chest was giving her heart palpitations. She shook her head to try and clear it. "Hurry!"

She scrambled out of the room. As she walked down the hallway, Lily heard the elevator doors open. She then realised how this must look. She was walking out of James's room wearing his clothes, carrying her handbag and yesterday's clothes.

Lily's heart almost stopped when Minerva came into view.

"Lily?"

She froze. Her room was only a few doors down, but it was definitely too late to make a run for it.

Minerva looked behind Lily to James's ajar door and then back to Lily, her eyes glowing with what seemed like anger mixed with resignation.

"Minerva, I can explain. We got here late and Mia had turned the deadbolt of our room and – "

Minerva cut her off. "We'll talk about this later. Just hurry up and get ready. We're already late enough as it is."

Lily nodded and walked to her room with her tail between her legs.

\--

The free dance practice had already started when they got to the rink. They only managed to get thirty minutes on the ice before they were called off it.

The feeling she'd had last night that everything would go great today was quickly evaporating. She did her makeup in the bathroom and then went to change in the locker room.

Lily had no idea how she had been convinced to wear a red dress, but their designer had somehow done it. Given, it wasn't entirely red. The bodice had black lace covering the red almost completely, but the skirt was very loudly red. As she fixed her hair, Minerva walked into the room. Lily felt herself go red at the memory of what had happened that morning.

"How are you feeling?"

Lily managed a small smile. "Alright. Not as nervous as yesterday."

"Good." Minerva cleared her throat. "Well, there are only two things I want to know. One, are you two being safe? And two, will you let this new... development affect your training?"

Lily almost fell off her seat. The compact mirror in her hands actually dropped into her lap. "What?"

"Well, I had expected you two to become... friendlier as time passed, I didn't expect this particular development so soon, but I did think it was bound to happen."

 _Was this actually happening to her?_ "We're not – nothing happened. When we got to the hotel last night, Mia had turned the deadbolt and I didn't want to wake her so James told me to sleep in his room and he lent me some clothes so I wouldn't sleep in jeans and he slept on Peter's bed. But we're not – we're not... I _don't_ see him like that," she explained in a breath.

There was a small hint of surprise on Minerva's face. "Oh, alright then. I guess I'll leave you to it then."

Lily nodded absentmindedly. She felt like she'd just imagined this conversation.

Lily didn't watch anyone else skate while she finished getting ready. She felt like it was a bad omen. She finally dragged herself out of the locker room before their group was set to go on the ice.

They were to go third in the last group of five teams. As they took to the ice for their five-minute warm-up, Lily heard a loud cheer coming from the stands as their names were announced. It was the Simms. She smiled and waved at them. As she and James went through some of their elements, Lily's feeling of confidence from the previous night started to return. Seeing the Simms had reminded her of how at ease she'd felt with James yesterday, which had even led to the comments from Mrs Simms about how they fit well together.

The five-minute warm-up was over in a flash. They headed to the off-ice warm-up area to wait for their turn and James watched the small screen there as the first two teams had their turn. Lily avoided looking and just did a few stretches. When the couple before them was about to finish their program, James stood up. "We should get going."

Lily followed James out of the room but stopped him before they walked out into the rink area.

She took a deep breath. "Listen, I just wanted to say, before we go out there, that I think you're a great skater and a great partner and a hard-worker and I really do trust you."

His smile widened. "Well, Lily, I also think you're an amazing partner and skater and human being and I am unbelievably lucky to have you as a partner. And I'm really glad you feel like you can trust me."

Before she would change her mind, Lily took a step forward and lightly wrapped her arms around him. He immediately slipped his arms around her waist and squeezed her slightly. "Now, let's go out and get them, kiddo."


	11. The Potato Medal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this update took so long, I was so mad at JK's transphobic tweets I didn't even want to look at my HP fics, but after seeing Dan and the rest of the HP actors' statements I felt a lot better and since this fic is so AU and with none of the main characters from the books, I got back into it pretty easily ngl.

([Lily and James's short dance lift](https://66.media.tumblr.com/156e241a50c5c6c28624606905c493cd/c2000cd985943f88-5e/s400x600/8689c89fe424bd792b7de0115e4a0c3721d61686.gifv))

* * *

They got the silver.

Lily deemed the Tallinn Trophy a success. She'd almost forgotten about her short dance stumble by the time they'd gotten home. There'd barely been any time to gush over their success at the rink before everyone went back to work since Nationals were just around the corner.

James had made it a habit to take the Tube with Lily after practice. He didn't live exactly close to her house, but it was more or less on the way. He'd get out at her stop and walk her the four blocks to her house as well, which Lily didn't think was necessary, but she let him.

"Listen, there's something that I've been meaning to tell you," Lily said as they stepped out onto the quiet street.

James looked at her expectantly.

Lily took a deep breath. "Well... I think that we should stick together throughout this season, whatever happens at Nationals."

James took a long look at her. "Okay."

"If we don't get any championship assignments, we could go to the Bavarian Open and Egna Trophy."

James smiled. "If that's what you want, Lily. But we _are_ going to get assigned."

Lily returned a small smile.

"I'm really glad you said that, though."

Lily looked down bashful. She had no idea what had possessed her to say this to James.

* * *

The British National Championships were probably the biggest event for Alexandra Palace skaters in the season. The big majority of them represented Great Britain, so the Palace was nearly empty during the week of Nationals.

Yuna and Remus were currently the only skaters who didn't compete for Britain at the Palace but they'd both come to Sheffield and watch on Sunday.

Lily sat with Melanie on the small bus the coaches at the Palace had rented to get everyone to Sheffield. Melanie leaned her head on Lily's shoulder. "You nervous?"

"A little bit, I guess. I think I was more nervous for the Qualifier though."

Melanie chuckled slightly.

"You?"

"I don't want to sound arrogant, but this feels like we're just travelling for two hours for a dress rehearsal."

Lily laughed. The only way Melanie and Sirius weren't winning the Pairs event was if they just went out on the ice and did nothing. There was only one other team competing and they were nowhere near as good as Melanie and Sirius. "God, I wish I did pairs."

"No, you don't."

Lily exhaled. "No, I don't." She'd never trust _any_ man to chuck her across the ice. She shuffled in her seat. "I think I'm more nervous about having to see John than about the competition itself. And I try not to think about what if he and Tala beat us but I keep imagining it in my head."

Melanie elbowed her slightly. "Lily, they are _not_ beating you and James, they've been scoring some ten points lower than you guys in their international outings."

Lily groaned. "I know. But their qualifying score was on par with ours and it makes me think domestic judges like them more than us."

Melanie shook her head. "Even if they did, they can't deny your international pull, and at the end of the day that's what really matters."

Lily sighed. "Yeah, I guess." She changed the subject. "Is your mum still following us?"

Melanie raised her head to look through the back window. "I can't quite tell but I'm sure she would've called me already if she'd lost us so I could ask the driver to slow down."

Lily chuckled. Parents weren't usually allowed on the skaters' bus since they could be known to distract from the actual competition on occasion.

"Are James's parents coming today too?" Melanie asked.

"Um, his mum's coming tomorrow and then I think his dad's coming on Sunday."

Melanie nodded. "Do you know if she'll bring a banner? I love her banners."

Lily recalled the banners Mrs Potter usually made for James and Catherine ever since they'd started competing. They were always very flashy and kind of gigantic. Lily wasn't actually very sure if she wanted Mrs Potter to have made a banner for them. On the one hand, if she _had_ made one, Lily would feel a bit strange at taking Catherine's place after she'd been with James for so long, but on the other hand, she'd probably get stressed thinking James's mum didn't like her as much as she did Catherine if she didn't. So, either way, it wouldn't be good for Lily's anxiety. "I don't know. And I don't intend to ask."

The trip to Sheffield wasn't very long, they arrived at their hotel around midday. As Lily entered the hotel lobby with Mary and Melanie she heard a shriek pierce through the room. " _Oh my god!_ "

Lily turned to the source of the noise, although she knew who it was before she saw her. Maya Shevchenko had started at Alexandra Palace at the same time as them and they'd all become instant friends. But Maya had never taken to ice dancing and Minerva wasn't exactly known for being a singles coach, so at fifteen-years-old Maya had moved to Canada so she could train with one of the best singles coaches there was.

Of course, none of the girls talked to Maya every day anymore since they were all busy with their own stuff. But it was one of those friendships that no matter how long they went without talking, it was all the same whenever they saw each other again. Which was mostly at whatever competitions they coincided at and a then a few weeks in the summer.

Maya practically threw herself at her three friends managing to hit Lily in the face with her long brown locks. "I missed you guys so much."

"Didn't you see Mel at Rostelecom literally last week?" Mary asked.

Maya let go of them. "Yeah, but I haven't seen _you_ guys since like July." She took Lily by the shoulders. "Lily, if you don't get assigned to Euros and Worlds, I'm going to start a riot."

Mary frowned. "Don't be daft, Maya. We're _all_ going to start a riot if they don't get assigned."

Lily laughed. "Come on, let's get to our rooms."

* * *

After settling in in their hotel, Lily and her friends spent longer than they should catching up until Minerva called them over to go to the rink.

Lily had competed at the Sheffield arena enough times to feel at least a little comfortable there. They didn't have long to practice in the main rink but Lily thought it all went fine. She did see John and Severus, as was inevitable. Severus was easier to deal with since it'd been a while since they split, they'd become masters at ignoring each other whenever they crossed paths at an event. Lily would never speak ill of a fellow competitor but she couldn't help being amused by the plethora of lap-sit lifts Severus and his partner had in their arsenal. She had no idea how she hadn't noticed before how he never seemed to lift a girl more than a few feet off the ice.

John was another deal though. Lily hadn't seen him since their very messy split. And she knew he was too proud to just quietly ignore her as Severus did. As much as Lily did want to give him a piece of her mind, she very much did not want to get into a confrontation at Nationals. She'd rather let her skating talk for itself.

Luckily, John's new partner kept him pretty distracted and only occasionally he'd glare in Lily's direction. Lily would tense every time John's gaze found her during practice but James had taken it upon himself to squeeze her hand each time he felt her tense. Lily found that she appreciated it.

Overall, it wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. If John continued with his passive-aggressiveness the entire time and didn't attempt to talk to her, Lily would be fine.

All the dance events were taking place on Saturday afternoon one right after the other. Which meant both Minerva and Malcolm barely had time to attend to every one of their students.

Lily felt kind of bad about not watching Mary perform the Short Dance at the junior event but it took place right before the senior Short Dance and Lily knew Mary understood.

Lily and James were going in the first group and Lily did not know which gods to thank for the fact that she wasn't in the same warm-up group as John or Severus. They weren't even in the same group as Narcissa and Evan, whom Lily didn't hate, but could be quite unpleasant.

Everything started out fine. Lily had spotted James's mum, who had dragged some other mums into holding her at-least-ten-feet-wide bright red banner that read 'Lily & James' in even louder gold lettering. She'd found herself grinning at it and waving at Mrs Potter.

It truly _was_ going well. Better than ever, even. Lily was even enjoying herself. It wasn't until the very last second that it happened. The lift.

Lily loved their Short Dance lift. It was everything a Rotational Lift could ever aspire to be. It was fast, it covered a lot of ice, and there were several changes of position. The lift was so intricate that Lily barely even noticed all the changes in position, so she had no idea how many changes had happened when she heard a groan from James and all of a sudden she was no longer draped over his shoulders but he was carrying her bridal style having slowed down his rotations slightly. Lily tried to shift her legs so she could at least hit an aesthetically pleasing position before he had to put her down. They were going to lose at least two levels for that.

Thankfully, after the lift, the program ended quite quickly. As Lily rose from her finishing position, she saw the disappointed look on James's face and her chest tightened. She wrapped her arms around his neck. She had the sudden urge to comfort him. "It's okay, it's okay," she whispered softly.

"Was it your back?" Minerva asked as they got off the ice and handed them their skate guards.

James nodded.

As they sat in the Kiss & Cry waiting for their scores, Lily decided that their Short Dance was cursed. There was no other explanation. They'd had major mistakes in it twice in a row now. It was just not normal.

The scores didn't take long. 63.47. It could've been worse. It might even be enough to hold on to third place, which was their goal. Lily hugged James once more, she wanted to talk to him, but Minerva quickly rushed him off to physical therapy.

Lily hoped he wouldn't beat himself too much about it. She knew he had a back injury, she wasn't currently injured but she'd had her fair share of injuries too. It happened. Lily didn't know a skater who hadn't gone through injuries. Even Tessa once had to stop in the middle of a performance because the pain in her legs was too much.

Lily wished she could say all of this to James but she had no idea where his physical therapy was to take place while they were in Sheffield.

"Oh, Lily, there you are!"

Lily barely had time to turn around before Mary threw her arms around her. "You were great!"

Lily appreciated Mary's sentiment but she couldn't help a small scoff. "Well..."

Mary rolled her eyes. "Yeah, the lift was botched but other than that everything was great and the score was pretty good."

Lily cocked her head in thought. "Yeah, I guess."

"D'you want to watch the rest of the Short Dance?"

"Not really. But we still have to wait for the Pairs Short and there's not much else to do here."

Mary smiled. "That's the spirit."

Lily went to change out of her dress and by the time she and Mary walked out onto the arena the last couple was on the ice. It was John and Tala. Lily took a peek at the current standings and her heart fluttered when she saw she and James were holding on to the third place. But this was the decisive moment.

Lily and Mary stood back from the boards, almost in the shadows.

John and Tala skated cleanly. Tala was very obviously a better skater than John, but he tried. John had always been strong enough to do complicated lifts but he did occasionally suffer from shaky leg syndrome whenever he had to do a one-legged lift. Lily despised it.

Lily might have been biased, but she definitely wouldn't put them above her and James, even with the mistake. She kind of wished James were there so he could call the levels but she tried her best to pay attention to the key points within her eyesight. She was pretty sure they'd missed at least three out of the eight.

Mary linked arms with Lily as they looked up at the screen waiting for the final standings. Lily took a deep breath. Whatever happened, it was okay. It was just the Short Dance, plenty of time to redeem themselves in the Free Dance tomorrow.

Lily had to blink a few times for her brain to process the Short Dance results. John and Tala were in third. She and James were in fourth.

"What the fuck!" Mary raised her voice. "How the fuck are they two and a half points above you guys, that's literally nonsensical."

Lily took a shuddering breath, trying to slow her beating heart. "It's okay, Mary."

"They got thirty-four TES, how did that even happen? How?"

Lily shook her head. "Well, there's not much we can do about it, either way."

Mary was about to go off again when Lily froze. John and Tala were leaving the Kiss & Cry and there was a glint in John's eye that rubbed Lily the wrong way. He seemed quite pleased with himself.

He passed by her and smirked. "Hope you enjoy that potato medal, Lily."

"What the – " Mary was about to go after him but Lily stopped her.

"It's fine, Mary. When _he_ gets the potato medal, that'll be the best payback."

Mary grinned. "Fuck yeah, that's my girl!"

Lily and Mary went to sit in the stands and wait for the Pairs Short Program to start. They talked a little bit about how Mary's own Short Dance had gone – she and Thomas were currently in the first place – and Lily tried not to think about John's comment. She used the term potato medal jokingly as well, but when John said it, it sounded _so_ arsehole-y. It wasn't like a fourth place was the worst thing in the world. Fourth place at the Olympics or at Worlds would be an amazing result. She knew if she went to Euros and Worlds and got a fourth place in either, she'd be quite pleased.

But if Lily and James did end up fourth at Nationals – which they wouldn't – Lily was glad there wasn't an _actual_ pewter medal, she'd be so embarrassed to have to go up on the podium after not making the World team, she had no idea how American skaters stomached it.

As the two sole couples skating in the Pairs event took to the ice, James climbed onto the stands and sat beside Lily. "Hey."

Lily smiled. "Hi. Are you okay?"

He shook his head. "I'm fine. It was just a bit of a muscle spasm. I'm sorry about – "

"You don't have to apologise," Lily cut him off. "It's okay. We'll bounce back in the free. Did Minerva clear you to come and watch?"

James scoffed slightly. "Of course she did."

"Even if she didn't, you know you can't expect him to just miss Sirius, Lil," Mary put in.

James smiled. "See? Mary gets it."

Lily rolled her eyes.

* * *

Lily was quiet for the rest of the evening. Going into this event she truly hadn't expected to actually end up in fourth place. It sure seemed like a real possibility now, but she tried to tell herself there was no way. After getting back to the hotel, Malcolm had told Lily and James that John's father had made a very generous donation that summer to the British Ice Skating Association and he wasn't saying that was the reason the technical and judging panels had been so lenient with John and Tala, but he _was_ kind of saying that. It made Lily's blood boil.

She tried to tell herself that the real talent would win out in the end but she didn't feel very hopeful after seeing the protocols. John and Tala had gotten every single key point on their Ravensburger Waltz, and that just wasn't right.

The Free Dance was the very last event to take place at Nationals. Which meant it was the most well-attended event since everyone was done competing. Lily's parents had gotten to Sheffield earlier in the morning sans Petunia. They told Lily she had a lot of homework to do, but Lily knew that was bullshit.

Lily had spent the previous night stressed. Her brain just wouldn't calm down. But now only a few minutes out from going out on the ice she started feeling a lot calmer. Her parents both hugged her tightly and whispered words of encouragement before leaving for their seats. And she was quite surprised when James's parents did the same.

Lily and James were going to be second to skate in the last group, they stood by the boards watching Penny and Nick skate as they waited to be let onto the ice. Lily reached for James's hand. She flexed her legs trying to get her blood flowing. She paused. "Shit. I just remembered. Did Maya win?"

James smiled. "Yeah, of course, she won."

"I'm such a shit friend. Didn't even check to see if she won."

James chuckled. "Well, in your defence it wasn't very likely she _wasn't_ going to win."

Lily smiled. He was right. She took a moment to look at James in his black trousers and white shirt with ruffled sleeves, hair perfectly tousled. He looked... _good_.

"Lily."

She looked back up at him.

"Mary told me what John said to you yesterday."

Lily averted her eyes. "Oh."

"And I just wanted to tell you that even if we get fourth, I don't mind getting a thousand potato medals as long as I get them with you."

Lily let out a small smile and nodded.

"In fact, any potato medal automatically turns into a gold one by the sole fact that I got it with you."

"Alright, you can stop now, I feel like you're heading into a weird direction."

James chuckled.

Penny and Nick got off the ice.

James squeezed Lily's hand. "Alright, let's go get them, kiddo."

Lily was happy.

They still didn't know if they were getting the bronze or not but she was happy. She and James had done everything they could on the free dance. And Lily hadn't felt this satisfied by a skate in a long time.

Lily and James sat off to the side behind the boards quietly. Tala and John were the last couple to skate. Their Romeo and Juliet program was so tired and overdone, Lily resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the corny choreography every five seconds.

Lily started making calculations in her head when they finally finished. But her brain just absolutely refused to do maths at the moment. James reached for her hand. They'd gotten 104.90 points in the free dance and 168.37 total, which was good. Narcissa and Evan were a long way above them but they were only around five points behind Penny and Nick.

Lily held her breath.

"... a total score of 168.22 points and they are currently in the fourth place."

James jumped up from his seat. He bent down to hug Lily and picked her up from her seat. "We did it. We got the bronze."

Lily nodded against his shoulder.

Minerva and Malcolm approached them and Lily and James broke away to hug their coaches.

After hugs and congratulations were exchanged, Lily walked over to the changing room with James to get his skates since he'd taken them off earlier. Lily tried to scold him for having spent this entire time walking around in just his socks but she was so happy she could barely find it in herself to care.

As they walked down the hallway, Lily spotted John angrily come out of one of the rooms. She moved slightly behind James. Way to bring her down from her high.

"Congratulations on that bronze. Let's just hope that Lily's nerves hold up when you get to the important competitions," John spat.

James took a step forward. "Listen, man. I know you're upset but there is no reason for you to take it out on Lily, she hasn't done anything to you."

John laughed humourlessly. " _She hasn't done anything to me?_ She took an entire year from my career!"

James held up a hand, a frown etched onto his face. "Okay, you need to back off, dude –"

"Although I hope you both know you're not getting the championships assignments that easily."

Lily froze. She gripped James's arm. She felt like she was going to pass out.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" James snarled.

John smirked. "Well, you might be decent skaters but would it really be a good look for the British federation to have the son of an illegal alien on the National Team?"

Lily's jaw dropped. "What the fuck is wrong with you John –"

James shook his head to cut Lily off. "My mother is a perfectly naturalised British citizen if that's what you're talking about."

There was a wicked glint in John's eye. "Didn't she overstay her student visa for two years until she could get your father to marry her?"

James's jaw clenched. "Even if she did, I don't see how that has anything to do with us making the team. You're just mad you got the fourth place."

John chuckled. "Well, I guess we'll see when the championship teams get announced."

He walked away, still with a smirk on his face.

Lily exhaled. "He's just trying to get under our skin, he does that."

James nodded, he seemed a little calmer. "Yeah, I mean, my mother's citizenship whatever has never been an issue before, I doubt it'll be an issue now."

Lily tried to smile encouragingly. "He's just trying to find an excuse so that people will look away from his blatant bribing of NISA officials, which is literally the only explanation for the scores he and Tala got."

James nodded and smiled slightly. "I don't know how you managed to stand him for an entire year."

"Yeah, me neither."

Lily managed to not think too much about the encounter with John as they went back out to the rink and were thoroughly hugged and congratulated by their friends and family. But it lurked at the back of her mind.

As she stood next to James on that third step of the podium with a medal around her neck she spotted James's parents sitting next to hers, all four of them holding the bright red banner with their names on it. James put his arm around her. She felt a flutter in her stomach. She thought she would've been happy with a thousand potato medals if it was with him too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost halfway through this story, babey!


	12. The Christmas Showcase

Lily and James's homecoming from Nationals should've been a celebration. But it wasn't.

The morning after the free dance, the senior championship teams were announced. Lily was sure they'd get a spot at either Europeans or Worlds but she'd gotten a surprise when the third spot for both was announced as TBA. So, they had nothing.

On Tuesday morning they got a call from an official from the British skating federation saying that since theirs and John and Tala's results had been so close at nationals and they were both new teams, they would all be attending the MNNT Cup in early January to determine who got sent to what.

Lily had felt like screaming at first. But she and James had come to the conclusion that international judges had seemed to have their eyes open when judging John and Tala so there was no way they were going to beat them.

Lily had also expressed concern to Minerva about John's comment to James after the free dance and Minerva had consulted with a trusted source at NISA and was told that there was no way for John to use Mrs Potter's immigration status against them, which brought some relief to Lily but she knew for a fact that John wouldn't relent from trying to fuck them over so easily.

The MNNT Cup was only a month away, so Lily and James got to work immediately. They trained long and hard six days a week, so Lily had been a little dubious when Diner Luke had asked her to go out with him and give up her only 'free day', which wasn't even a free day, really, since she used it to do schoolwork and take a shift at the diner. But she'd said yes for some reason.

He was nice and handsome and funny and it wasn't like she _liked anyone else_.

So Lily gave up her Sunday evening. It'd cost her the pay from one shift at the diner but since she might not even go to any championships, she figured why not.

Luke hadn't actually told her where they were going, just told her to dress warmly and comfortably.

Even though he hadn't told her exactly what they were doing, he had brought her to a park so there weren't all that many options.

"I hope you don't think it's too corny or anything, but I figured it's December and the spirit of Christmas and all that," Luke said as he led Lily through a walkway.

Lily smiled, reassuringly. "I promise I won't think it's too corny."

"Well, here it is." Luke gestured to his left.

Lily turned to see ice. He'd brought her to an outdoor ice rink. Her eyebrows raised. She quickly tried to school her features into something that resembled a grimace a little less but she was finding it hard. She gaped at Luke, trying to find something to say and trying to remove the frown from her face.

"Oh, fuck. You hate it, don't you?" Luke said worriedly.

Lily shook her head, still with a bit of a frown. "No, not at all." She took a breath. "I guess... I just wasn't expecting you to ask me to work on our first date."

His eyes widened. "Work?"

"Um, I'm a figure skater, like, a professional one."

"Oh. _Oh_."

"I just... I spend some five hours on the ice every day so I just really wasn't expecting this."

Luke brought his palm to his forehead. "Ooh, I get what Amita told me now."

Lily smiled. "What'd she tell you?"

"Well, I asked her if you liked ice skating and she said, and I quote, 'I figure she does since she does it all the time'."

Lily laughed. "Well, I mean, I do like it, but it's still my job, it costs more than it pays at the moment, but I hope soon enough I'll start making money off of it."

"I'm such a dick, we don't have to do this."

Lily shook her head. He was sweet. "No, it's fine. I just wish you'd told me so I could've brought my skates."

Luke seemed relieved by this and they went to get rental skates, which Lily examined closely. They were black and ugly and the blades were dull but she put them on with only a small grimace.

They stood by the entrance, waiting to be let onto the ice. "Do you know how to skate?"

Luke shrugged. "Theoretically, yes. But now that I know you're a professional skater, I'm too scared to say I can."

Lily laughed.

The rink was a little smaller than an Olympic-sized one and there weren't many people around, the ones inside were holding onto the boards for dear life, Lily kind of wanted to help them.

Once they stepped onto the ice, Lily was pleased to find that Luke could at least advance forwards without having to hold on to anything.

They trailed along the boards.

"You know, I'm not gonna lie, I kind of hoped you couldn't skate that well so that I could hold your hand," Luke said.

Lily smiled. "Well, I can hold _your_ hand if you need."

"I wouldn't complain."

Lily took Luke's hand and she couldn't help but think of James. He was a lot taller than Luke, with Luke only being a few inches taller than her. She'd never ice dance with Luke, she liked her partners with at least some five inches on her.

Lily heard the unmistakable sound of someone hitting the ice. She turned to see a little girl, maybe around nine-years-old had just fallen on her butt, her face looking like she was about to burst into tears. Lily rushed to her.

"Oh, honey, are you okay?" Lily took the girl by the hand and pulled her upright.

The girl nodded.

"Ella! I told you not to do that here!"

A woman whom Lily assumed to be the girl's mother was holding onto the boards a few feet away. She turned to Lily. "Thank you so much, dear. She's been taking skating lessons and now seems to think she can do the moves unsupervised."

Lily's eyebrows raised slightly in surprise. She turned to the girl. "So, you're a skater, too. What were you trying to do?"

Ella still looked down. "Just a spin."

Lily nodded slowly. "Right. Maybe let's leave that for training. Why don't you come do some crossovers with me so you'll get your confidence back?"

Ella seemed to perk up. She turned to her mum, who nodded encouragingly.

Lily took Ella's hand and started skating backwards. Crossovers were simple. It was just basically putting one foot in front of the other in order to gain speed. Ella's crossovers were bumpy but good for a kid.

As they came to a stop, Ella seemed a lot more content. Crossovers relaxed Lily too. "Your crossovers are so good!"

Lily smiled. "Thank you, so are yours."

Ella shook her head. "Yours are so smooth. Are you an ice dancer? I'm an ice dancer."

Lily grinned, her heart warmed. "I _am_ an ice dancer. Good eye."

Ella let out a small gasp. "Can you do twizzles? I can't complete a set on one foot."

Lily nodded. "Yeah, I can do twizzles."

Ella grinned. "Can I see?"

Lily looked down at her rental skates. She'd tried to tighten them as possible and the blade did seem to have the small curve required for spinning. She probably wouldn't die if she tried. "Sure."

She looked over to check the coast was clear. The middle of the ice was nearly empty.

She did the three sets they usually did on the short dance and James crept into Lily's mind again.

Ella seemed over the moon. After telling Lily how amazing and perfect her twizzles were, the girl finally went back to her mother and Lily back to her date. She felt a little bad for having left Luke behind.

He smiled at her as she approached. "I feel like I should tell you I tried to go after you to help that little girl but you were so fast I almost face-planted trying to follow you."

Lily laughed. "Oh, I'm sorry."

"Nah, it's okay. It was really cool what you showed that kid. I'm sorry, I'm not very well versed on figure skating terminology. I only know triple Axel, was that a triple Axel?"

Lily let out a loud laugh.

Luke smiled. "I guess that's a no."

Lily shook her head vehemently. "It's a resounding no. A triple Axel is a jump, and I don't jump."

Luke's brows raised. "Oh?"

"I'm an ice dancer, there's no jumping involved there."

Luke nodded. "Oh, wait, ice dance. That's like, Torvill and Dean, right?"

"Yeah. Well, there's been so many rule changes since their time that ice dance has basically become an entirely new discipline but, yeah, kind of like Torvill and Dean."

"So, you have like, a partner? Should I be worried?"

Lily rolled her eyes playfully. Why was it such a popular myth that skating partners were always romantically involved? All the partners who ended up marrying each other certainly weren't helping. "I do have a partner, his name is James, and you should not be worried, it's really not... not like that. At all." Lily had no idea why a blush crept up her cheeks as she said this.

Luke raised a brow. "Okay, then."

Lily and Luke skated around a while longer, and Lily tried her best to keep her thoughts off James. She was probably thinking of him so much because she was skating with someone who wasn't him. And for some reason, she felt kind of bad for skating with someone else without him around, which was very stupid. Minerva occasionally decided to have them switch partners for warm-ups, so Lily _had_ skated with other guys, but James had always been there, and Lily had no idea what she was even thinking anymore.

Either way, it wasn't like Luke was a skater, he was just a _guy_.

They were leaving the ice when Luke said, "I hope James doesn't mind I stole his partner for a little bit." He held up his phone.

Lily looked at the screen to see Luke had posted a story of Lily holding his hand on the ice. She'd noticed him take it but she didn't think he'd post it. She looked at him worriedly. "Um, I really appreciate the sentiment but... could you take it down?"

Luke frowned. "Oh."

"It's just that... I feel kind of bad about James seeing that."

"Is he like, a jealous guy?"

Lily shook her head. "It's not that. It's me, I'll feel bad, I know it's kind of dumb, but –"

"No, it's not dumb, Lily. I get it, I'll take it down."

Lily smiled. "Thank you."

There was still a bit of a frown on Luke's face. "Are you sure there's nothing going on between you guys? Seriously. Even if it's one-sided."

Lily's mind briefly flashed back to Tallinn when James had carefully diverted Mrs Simms' question about if he still liked her. "No, really, no. It's just a bit of a... complicated partnership and still fairly new."

Luke nodded slowly and finally smiled. "Okay, I get it."

* * *

Lily felt so weird about her little outburst with Luke that when he'd dropped her off at her house and he'd asked about a second date, Lily had invited him to the Christmas showcase at Alexandra Palace.

Lily hadn't skated in said showcase in years, but Minerva had asked her and James to perform in it, so they were doing it. They'd put together a program very quickly with Minerva's help.

Lily thought that if Luke saw her and James skate together, his mind would be eased about any possible romance going on between them and he'd quickly realise their relationship was purely platonic.

The Christmas showcase was mostly for the younger skaters' benefit and their parents and families were pretty much the only spectators in attendance.

Lily's plan was quite perfect, really. Luke would see her and James skate but he wouldn't meet any of her friends or parents yet. And he didn't even need to stay for the whole thing because she and James were opening the show.

Lily really enjoyed being around the younger skaters at the palace, most of them were a lot of fun and quite chill. So, she found that she was in a good mood the night of the show as she helped Alena do her hair.

"Ow, Lily, you're going to rip my scalp off."

Lily rolled her eyes and reached for a hair tie. "Calm down, you're the one who'll have a heart attack if even one hair is out of place."

"Is it really my fault for not wanting to look like a slob when performing?"

Lily's eyes narrowed. "I'm not entirely sure if that was supposed to be an indirect towards me but I'll let it slide."

Alena grimaced as Lily twisted her hair into a bun. "Face it, Lily, a half-updo is not a competition appropriate hairstyle."

Lily gaped at the girl. "You can talk to me when you're a senior national medallist."

"So... you'll listen to me in some three years."

"If you medal at senior Nats in the 2018-2019 season I swear to god I'll listen to you."

Alena smiled, contentedly. "You're on."

Lily tapped Alena's head slightly to let her know she was done and the girl ran off to change into her costume.

Lily and James hadn't had time to get a costume done specifically for the show so she'd just gone for an old red competition dress.

"Hey, Lil."

James was wearing his Sochi Scott ensemble and Lily took a second too long to respond. "Hey."

"We're almost up."

Lily nodded, she walked with him into the rink and almost out of habit, took his hand. They usually only held hands during competitions but Lily thought it was too late to retract her hand now.

James cleared his throat. Lily could barely see his face in the low lighting. "So, Sirius told me your new boyfriend is coming tonight."

Was that a bit of an edge to his voice Lily detected?

"Sirius told you?"

"Well, you told Melanie and she told Sirius and Sirius told me."

Lily nodded and let out a small huff. "He's not my boyfriend, we've been on like one date."

"He must be pretty special though if you're inviting him to your skating events already."

Lily scoffed. "It's the _Christmas showcase_ , not _Worlds_."

James shrugged defensively. "Okay. I'm just saying, you know, there are always people who don't quite understand on-ice partnerships aren't necessarily romantic. You know how many girls have felt threatened by Sirius's partnership with Melanie even though it's not like that at all?"

Lily considered this. He wasn't wrong. She'd witnessed plenty of Sirius's flings go sideways because some girls just could not fathom the idea that even though Melanie was his partner and they were close, their relationship was strictly platonic. It'd happened to Melanie too, with the few boys she'd crushed on, they were easily intimidated and turned off by her relationship with Sirius.

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to bring Luke here. But it's not like this program was very romantic. Maybe a little bit. But surely... Lily shook her head. It was too late either way. If Luke was going to be intimidated by her completely platonic relationship with James, better find out now, because if he asked something stupid of her, like to choose between him and James, she'd very obviously pick James, since skating was her fucking career. And it'd be really embarrassing for Luke.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by James pulling her onto the ice by the hand. Guess it was their turn now.

They were skating to Baby, It's Cold Outside, and now that Lily thought about it, their playful flirty choreography could perhaps be interpreted as romantic but she resolved that it'd just make Luke see that they were really not good at even playing at romance.

_I simply must go (Baby it's cold outside)_

_The answer is no (But baby it's cold outside)_

As Lily playfully flirted with James as per their choreography, she realised that maybe she hadn't really thought the whole inviting Luke thing through. Because he could very possibly interpret this the wrong way. Fuck, she'd have to find Luke as soon as she was done.

_I really can't stay (Get over that old out)_

_Baby, it's cold_

_Baby, it's cold outside_

Lily tried to search for Luke in the crowd as they took their bows but it was too dark to see.

She put on her skate guards as quickly as she could as they exited the ice. "I have to go."

James gave her a knowing smile but nodded.

She rushed to the stands and quickly found Luke standing to the side.

Lily smiled. "Hey."

He smiled too, not his usual grin though. "Hey." He pulled his hand through his hair. "Um, that was... that was really good, you're – great."

"Thanks, I'm glad you liked it."

"I have to go, though. Do you mind if I call you later?"

Lily's face fell. She nodded. "Yeah, it's okay."

Luke said goodbye and left.

He couldn't have possibly felt threatened by James? That was so stupid! Why were men so fucking dumb? She should've never tried to date a guy. _Ugh._

* * *

Luke did call Lily later. He'd told her he didn't think it was such a good idea to go on another date. Lily had easily resigned but his words still rang in her head.

"At first I thought maybe that was the way all ice dancers behaved with each other but then when I got home I looked at some videos of you with your previous partners on YouTube and you didn't look at them the way you look at James, you just don't. But it's not just that. If you look at him with love in your eyes, he looks at you like you hung the moon and stars, I looked at some other videos of you guys too and it's the same in all of them. I think you've got something going on, whether you'll admit it or not. I feel like there's history there and I don't want to be caught in the middle. Not just for you but for me too. I'd still like to be friends with you because you're great but I don't think dating is going to work out," was what he'd said.

Lily, of course, hadn't commented on any of what he'd said in his little monologue and had just agreed to remain friends and encouraged him to still stop by the diner. A customer was a customer, after all.

Then she'd spent almost the entire night looking at the four videos there existed on the internet of her and James skating. In the end, she was willing to admit that she had _maybe_ , a few times, looked at James... _affectionately_ , but that had been just in an attempt to represent the character of the dance, there definitely wasn't _love_ in her eyes. That was so stupid. Luke just hadn't liked her that much and had come up with that entire thing as an excuse to let her down gently.

But Lily didn't care, it was his loss.

Lily recounted the entire night to her friends during their lunch break the next day. They all offered their condolences for the breakup but Lily really wasn't so hung up about being dumped by someone she'd gone on _one date_ with.

"... honestly, that's such a shitty excuse, he could've just said he didn't want to go out again."

Mary put a hand on Lily's arm to stop her. "Lily, babe. You know I hate it as much as the next person when we have relationship trouble because of our partnerships, but in this particular case, I kind of see where Luke is coming from."

Lily gaped at her friend. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Mary shrugged. "Well, if I were going out with you and I saw you and James skate together, I'd get the hell out of there too."

Lily frowned. She turned to look at Melanie and Yuna but they both shrugged noncommittally. Were her friends ganging up on her now? "I have no idea what you're talking about right now, Mary."

Mary sighed. "Well, the past month or so you've been having this sort of will-they-won't-they vibe between you. Each time you're on the ice you're like two wild animals peacocking around each other."

Lily's eyes widened. "What the – what the fuck, Mary."

Mary turned to the other two girls. "Help me out here, bitches."

Melanie took a deep breath. "I think what Mary is trying to say is that ever since you've made friends with James, you two have had this sort of very... loaded energy when you're around each other. Like you're about to snog each other at any given second."

Lily gaped at her friends. Where was all this coming from?

"Plus you've both been awfully flirty with each other lately," Mary put in.

Yuna placed a hand on Lily's arm delicately. "I think what's happening is that you've started to develop feelings for James but you refuse to admit it to yourself."

Lily scoffed. Were her friends playing a joke on her?

What did they know either way? _They were only her best friends in the entire world, two of whom she'd known since she was eleven-years-old and who knew her better than anyone else._

Lily thought for a second.

Oh, no. Oh, _fuck_.


	13. Skating Gods Do Y'all Even Hear Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My summer classes ended today and I was so happy I cranked this one out. Enjoy babes💕

Thankfully, not long after Lily's realisation of her _possible_ _teeny-tiny_ crush on James, he left.

Of course, he was leaving for less than a week to spend Christmas with his family in Chile, but Lily thought this time apart would be good for them.

She'd been thinking about the aforementioned _possible_ crush a lot. She'd come to the conclusion that it was a new-partner crush, it had happened to her before, once upon a time with John, but she'd gotten over it. As she would with this one. Because it was a new-partner crush, it stemmed from spending too much time together with someone all at once. She told herself it was normal and it would go away in time.

She was taking this James-free week to prove to herself that this was a situational crush. She wouldn't even think about James during this week, she'd just enjoy her Christmas with her family.

The first few days were easy, Lily busied herself with absolutely everything she could to avoid thinking about the forbidden topic. She did schoolwork, she watched movies with her parents, she cooked, she cleaned, she did chores.

On Christmas Day, Lily's maternal grandmother visited so they could eat dinner together, and Lily busied herself attending to her gram all day.

Once dinner was served, Lily realised that maybe she shouldn't have insisted on helping her mother with the cooking so much, everything she'd gotten her hands on had turned out not great tasting.

"Lily, darling, your mother sent me a video of your performance at Nationals, it was simply superb, I am so proud of you, if it were up to me, I'd have given you the gold immediately," Gram said as she poked at her kidney pie.

Lily smiled. "Thank you, Gram."

Petunia scoffed. "She got the bronze, it wasn't that great."

"Petunia, don't be rude," Mrs Evans scolded.

"I'm just stating facts! Lily's hopped rockers could never win a national title."

Lily gripped her fork. Petunia did not want to get into an argument about technical abilities, there was no way she was coming out of that unscathed.

Gram scowled. "Petunia, it's not becoming to say such things about your sister. Stop it right now."

Petunia scoffed and sat back in her chair angry, but she said nothing else.

As they finally moved on to dessert, Lily's phone buzzed.

It was James.

Dammit! She'd been doing such a good job of not thinking about him today. She and James rarely texted each other outside of things about skating and schedules but Lily assumed this would be a simple Happy Christmas text.

When she opened it though, she found that James had texted her something in Spanish. Which was weird.

She quickly copied and pasted the text onto Google translate.

_How pretty you are_ , it read. Okay, either James was drunk or Google translate was doing a bad job. Maybe the word for pretty in Spanish could also be used to wish someone happy holidays.

Just as she pondered this, another text came in, in Spanish again. The question marks at the end alarmed her, so she hit translate even faster now.

_Are you Beto's girlfriend?_ What the fuck? Who was that? How should she respond to that?

Another text came in this time in English. _I'm so sorry about that, Lily. My younger cousins took my phone._

Okay, that checked out.

_It's fine, no worries._ She wrote back.

_Can I ask who's Beto though? And why there are rumours going around in Chile that I'm his girlfriend?_ She decided to add after her first text was sent.

_Well, Beto is me, actually. No one here calls me James, Joaquín is my grandpa's name, so my third name it is, Beto, short for Alberto._ James wrote.

Huh. Interesting.

He sent another text. _My cousin saw your picture on my phone and said you looked like the princess from Brave and I guess that's why she texted you._

_Well, tell her I said hi._ Lily wrote.

_Hold on, they're going to apologise for texting you without permission._ His response was almost immediate.

A minute later, a voice message from James appeared. Lily excused herself from the table and headed over to the living room so she could hear better.

The one-minute voice message was mostly James scolding his cousins in Spanish while they giggled and replied also in Spanish. Lily caught her name a few times, then recognised James saying "sorry, Lily" and then his cousins repeating after him in chorus. It was very cute.

Lily wasn't sure if it was because of the Spanish, or the way it sounded recorded, but she'd never noticed James's voice to be so deep and, well... _hot_.

She shook herself. No James thoughts, that was the agreement with herself, no James thoughts.

_Tell them apology very much accepted._ Lily quickly texted back before shoving her phone in her pocket. Oh god.

* * *

Lily had been wrong. James's week away had not been beneficial for her _possible_ crush, if anything it'd made everything worse. The day they went back to training, Lily had been hyperaware of every time he touched her and overthinking everything he said to her.

Lily had known a lot of skaters who'd had new-partner crushes before. It was fairly common, so she knew that these things passed, people moved on and developed healthy friendships with their partners. So, during the week and a half they had for training before the MNNT Cup, she tried her absolute best to put her feelings behind her and just focus on the skating.

She finally felt like both their programs were close to reaching their full potential and she was not risking shit by overthinking her dumb _possible_ crush.

Lily felt like doing two competitions in a row where John was there was bad karma. But after arriving in Poland, so far, he'd ignored her and James, with only his occasional dirty looks their way.

The morning of the Short Dance, Lily felt quite confident. Their practices had gone great, they'd drawn second-to-last to skate, she had stopped blushing every time she made skin-to-skin contact with James. So, overall, things were going how she wanted.

Truthfully, Lily was quite proud of herself for her performance in the Short Dance. She'd thought her dumb crush would deter her from fully immersing herself in the dance, but in reality, she felt like it had improved her performance. She did not want to get into the logic behind that but she knew that she was extremely pleased with their score of 67.83 points, with which they led John and Tala by four and a half points.

They were so close to those championship spots, Lily could almost taste it. Just one free dance to get through and if it went as well as the Short Dance, it was in the bag.

Lily's confidence was also boosted by the presence of one Marina Zoueva, who had two teams under her tutelage competing but had taken the time to check in with Lily and James and offer advice.

Needless to say, John had not been pleased by the short dance results, as had been made obvious by his storming out of the Kiss & Cry upon seeing the gap between his and Lily and James's score.

He had been out for blood the morning of the free dance during practice. Lily knew sometimes skaters weren't fully aware of the space around them when practising and accidents happened often, she'd had some rough collisions herself, but at some point, it became obvious when a skater was deliberately not looking where they were going.

Lily thought John's intimidation tactics during practice were stupid, but she would not let his temper sour her mood or shatter her confidence. Not anymore.

James pulled Lily close to his body as John and Tala passed them by skating at full speed for what seemed like the hundredth time in an hour. If Lily hadn't gotten out of the way, Tala would've taken her down for sure.

James let out a frustrated sigh as he let go of Lily. "What the hell his wrong with them?"

"You know what's wrong with them. A four and a half point gap they can't close."

James smiled cheekily. Lily had been painfully aware of his face lately. The way his hair was pulled back from his forehead by a sweatband or the red flush on his cheeks from the cold was not helping her. But looking at him made Lily stop worrying over John.

"I wish someone would tell them that holding us back from practising for an hour is going to do absolutely nothing to make them better skaters," James said.

Lily laughed. "Should we try to run through that step sequence again?"

James looked over Lily's shoulder. "Wait." He paused for a few seconds. "They're taking a water break. Now, now, now."

Lily and James quickly launched into their steps. They almost made it through the entire thing when Lily felt something press against the back of her leg.

James had grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer to him but he'd been a second too late. "Where the hell did they even come from? Are you okay?"

Lily nodded. She'd been temporarily distracted by the lurch in her stomach when James had grabbed her by the waist so tightly but now she felt the slight sting on the back of her thigh. She turned to look at the area as well as she could as James led her to the boards where Minerva was standing.

"Well, my tights are ruined, that's for sure," Lily commented as she saw the back of her tights cut clean through. The skirt of her practice dress had also been slashed.

James frowned. "Wait, did she actually slash you?"

James inspected the back of Lily's thigh while she tried not to think about how her arse was also in his direct line of sight.

"Oh, Lily, you're bleeding!" Minerva said as they reached her.

Lily craned her neck and spotted a fine line of blood peeking out of the spot her tight had been cut.

James's frown deepened. "Okay, that is too far. I'm going to give them a piece of my mind."

Lily quickly grabbed James's arm before he could skate off. "No, I don't want to start any drama."

" _You're_ not starting anything, they're the ones who started."

Lily shook her head. "I just want to focus on our skating right now. They want to taunt us into fighting."

James took a deep breath, Lily's hand dropped from his forearm to his hand. He looked at Minerva questioningly.

Their coach had a bit of a resigned look on her face. "I'm angry too, James. But the most we can get if we say something is an insincere apology from Tala since Lily didn't get gravely hurt."

James sighed. He squeezed Lily's hand. "She should at least pay for the damage to Lily's clothes."

Lily smiled. "James, these tights cost like one pound."

"Either way, practice is over now and I doubt they'll be as bold in the warm-up with all the event officials and the judges around. So, I think Lily should survive this event without any more injuries," Minerva said.

Lily nodded and took a deep breath. Minerva was right. The competition was almost over, and once they won, Lily wouldn't have to deal with Tala and John for the rest of the season.

* * *

Just as Minerva had said, John and Tala were a lot tamer during the Free Dance warm-up. Lily didn't miss the smug look on John's face, as if he'd already won a competition he was currently losing. But it was easy for Lily just to focus on James.

Lily missed the feeling of being last to skate but was pleased with their starting number, with only Tala and John going after them.

Lily stood by the boards and clapped enthusiastically for Natalia and Maksym as they finished their program.

She fixed her hair nervously, wishing she had a mirror. She felt James's hand come up to rest on her shoulder. He smiled. "You look perfect, Lily."

She only managed a small smile in response.

"You ready?"

Lily nodded. "I'm ready if you are."

James grinned. He took her hand. "Let's go get them, kiddo."

Lily's stomach did a flip as they stepped onto the ice. She shook her arms in an attempt to get rid of the giddy feeling James had instilled in her at the boards. She took a deep breath.

James's grin was gone. His face now was all seriousness, there was a fire in his eyes. He took her hand again.

"On the ice representing Great Britain, Lily Evans and James Potter."

Lily couldn't lie to herself, that sounded _really_ good. It made her confidence grow.

They took their starting positions. The music came on and Lily felt alive.

It was as if someone with a lot more confidence and moxie than her had taken over her body. Every movement she made had a certain kick to it.

Lily often felt that the skating gods were conspiring against her. First by making her waste so much time with a partner like Severus, then steering her in the direction of John, who was the worst person she knew. Then with James, she'd felt maybe this time the skating gods were on her side. But major mistakes in three competitions in a row. There had to be a higher power not looking after Lily.

They'd almost gotten through it. Through the entire competition. Lily had thought it was only their short dance that was cursed, she thought she'd be safe during the free dance, she trusted the free dance.

It was on their final lift. The infamous crotch lift, which had ended up in their free dance. Lily had no idea what happened until she was on the ice.

Sure, James's outside edge on this curve lift was impressively deep but Lily had never seen him fall out of it. But he did this time.

As soon as he'd felt himself going down, he'd tugged Lily uprights by the waist. She had no idea how he'd managed to do it so quickly while falling but he'd narrowly avoided her hitting the ice headfirst. She _had_ fallen on him though. And she was pretty sure she heard his head bump against the ice surface.

"James?" She asked shakily.

She got on her knees beside him. His face was contorted in pain. "Are you okay?"

Lily was caught off guard by his asking about her well-being. "I'm – fine."

"You have to tell the judges."

Lily frowned. "What?"

"We have forty seconds from when we stop to ask for time or we'll be disqualified."

_Was he seriously worrying about that right now?_ "But you're —"

"Lily," he said in a serious tone. "Go now."

Lily felt tears stinging at her eyes as she got up and skated over to the judging panel. She barely had to say two words before they told her they had ten minutes to restart where they left off.

She saw James starting to get up as she turned back. "Don't get up! You hit your head."

"I'm fine."

The paramedic on site had already entered the ice. She started checking for signs of a concussion.

Lily felt like she was going to pass out. That had been the scariest moment of her entire life.

James held on to her hand tightly and rubbed soothing circles across the back of it. She was shaking slightly.

The paramedic did a quick check on Lily as well before all three went over to the boards were Minerva was standing with a worried look on her face. If Lily didn't get her tears in check, her makeup would be ruined.

The paramedic told them James didn't seem to have a concussion and should be able to finish the program okay.

Minerva hugged both of them tightly. "Oh, you don't have to finish if you don't feel up to it."

James shook his head. "No, it's fine, it's just this..." He raised his foot up to rest on the boards. "I think my blades are loose. That's why I fell out of that outside edge."

Minerva's eyes widened. She seemed angry now. "Wait here, I'll go get a screwdriver."

Lily wanted to ask James how the hell had his blades loosened but they were short on time and she just needed to know one thing at the moment. "Are you sure you're okay?"

James smiled softly and nodded. He placed a hand on the side of Lily's face, his thumb glazed over her cheekbone. "I am. Seriously."

Lily raised a hand to place over James's. "Because it's okay if you're not. I won't be mad at you."

James shook his head but Minerva was back with a pocket screwdriver before he could answer. As he tightened the screws at the soles of his boots, he smiled up at Lily and Minerva and tried to lighten the mood. "Never thought I'd have my very own Tonya Harding 1994 Olympics moment."

Lily frowned for a second before she remembered. She let out a small chuckle. "At least you're not sobbing as you're doing it."

James laughed. He started on the other skate. "The way I _know_ Sirius is going to Photoshop my face over a picture of Tonya."

Lily tried to cover her face with her hands as she grinned at that mental image. "I'd be willing to bet that meme is already on the group chat by the time the Free Dance is over."

James grinned. "You're on, Evans." He lowered his leg from the boards.

Lily watched carefully as James stroked along the ice, trying to put pressure on each blade to test them.

Finally, he stopped on the stop where their curve lift was supposed to end and motioned her over.

Lily took a deep breath and readied herself.

Thankfully, there were only two elements left after the Curve Lift, the Midline Step Sequence and the Choreographic Twizzles.

Lily tried her best to get back into the program but it wasn't the same feeling as when they'd started. She kept glancing at James worriedly and had to remind herself to control her facial expressions.

But technical-wise, they got through it fine.

Lily hugged James extra tight as they finished. "That was great."

He nodded.

The applause was also a little louder than it had been for the other teams. Lily hated pity-applause.

Minerva also hugged them extra tight as they got off the ice. And so did Marina.

Lily and James sat between Minerva and Marina in the Kiss & Cry. Marina next to Lily and Minerva next to James.

"What happened?" Marina asked as the replays played on the screen.

James sighed. "I don't know. Everything was fine during the warm-up and then halfway through the program, my blades started going a little funny. I thought it was nothing but obviously it wasn't."

The slow-mo replay of their fall played on the screen. Fuck, it looked really bad in slow motion. And James's head had definitely bounced on the ice. Lily grimaced.

Marina patted Lily's hand as the camera cut to the Kiss & Cry. "You still did very good. I'm proud of you."

Lily managed a small smile and a nod.

James took Lily's hand and intertwined their fingers as they waited for the score. Lily took a deep breath.

Their free dance score was of 94.53 points. Lily had forgotten they were getting a deduction for the fall until she saw the minus two on the screen. It could've definitely been worse. Their doing well the first three-quarters of the program had definitely paid off. They were currently second in the free dance.

But first overall. With one team to go.

After a group hug, Lily and James left the Kiss & Cry and went to sit on a bench behind the boards. Lily didn't want to watch John and Tala's free dance but she wanted to stay and see the final results.

She shifted in her seat and dropped her head down to James's lap to avoid seeing.

James placed a hand on her arm.

Under different circumstances, Lily might have wanted to talk about scores and their possibilities of still winning, but she didn't have it in her at the moment. She'd never had a fall so bad during a competition before. Which reminded her, she'd have to go get her phone soon so she could call her mum, who was probably worried sick (although Lily wasn't entirely sure her parents had figured out how to put up the livestream on the telly).

As they waited for John and Tala to finish skating, Lily found herself praying — to the skating gods, of course.

_Oh, skating gods, what have I done to deserve this luck? Have I not busted my arse for years trying to please you? Are my blood, sweat and tears not enough? Skating gods, do y'all even hear me?_

Lily heard the announcer say "the scores, please" and bolted upright.

"Tala Yaxley and John Buchanan of Great Britain have earned in the free dance a total of ninety-four point seventy-four points." Lily's breath caught. "Bringing their total score to one hundred and fifty-eight point zero five points. They are currently in second place."

Lily gasped. They _were_ third in the free dance but their short dance lead had saved them, it had given them the victory.

James was up in a flash and squeezing Lily tightly to his chest. "We won! Our first gold!"

Lily smiled and nodded against his shoulder.

James pressed a kiss to the side of Lily's head and let her go.

She suddenly felt weak in the knees.


	14. Ricky & Narcissa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, it's been a while and there are few things I want to say before y'all start reading.
> 
> First, I'm sorry it's been so long, I wrote about half of this chapter like a month ago and then I got terrible writer's block out of literally nowhere. I hope you all enjoy, though.
> 
> Also, since there's no way for me to upload the video edits I made for Lily and James's programs on YouTube because of copyright issues, I'll leave the Google Drive links at the beginning of the chapter.
> 
> Of course, these edits are not completely accurate in the sense of composition of an actual program, the Short Dance is a little too long and there's almost an entire extra step sequence, and the Free Dance is a little short and has an extra lift and also the music cut is pretty bad, it seriously sounds like I graduated from the Daniil Gleikhengauz school of bad music cuts, but well, there was only so much I could do, I apologise.
> 
> Also, I'll probably go back and put the links in one of the Tallinn chapters, so if you see another update, it's probably that.
> 
> Lastly, the last bit of this chapter was inspired by an Instagram post by retired Russian ice dancer, Betina Popova. The post is originally in Russian, so I'll leave a link to a tweet with a translation because I think her post was really important and meaningful.
> 
> Okay, that's all, I'm sorry for the long note y'all.

([Short Dance](https://drive.google.com/file/d/17R7JOue6KUBLYUjs0InW4YQzgpOBUOx4/view?usp=sharing))

([Free Dance](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1FMsAPsqSwmouFtc9HiXiv-JAUoOyMmjG/view?usp=sharing))

([Betina Popova tweet](https://twitter.com/choromatsu333/status/1277541114019536896?s=20))

* * *

Once again, Lily and James's homecoming was tainted.

After the Free Dance, James's back had decided to start shit up again. Lily knew that the fall probably hadn't been good for his back but he hadn't said anything about it until the medal ceremony.

Minerva had given him painkillers and now that they were back in London, James had been sent to the doctor first thing Monday morning.

Lily felt awful about not asking about his back before and now that he was taking a long time at the doctor, her paranoia grew.

Lily sat with her friends after their morning session on the ice. They were meant to be going to a Pilates lesson but Lily wanted to wait for James to get back, so they waited with her.

Her worry was definitely about James's health but she'd be lying if she said there wasn't another factor in play now. The morning after the free dance, NISA had announced Lily and James as members of the teams for Europeans, Junior Worlds, and Worlds.

It couldn't have been more perfect. It was everything Lily could've asked for. But since she couldn't have nice things, James might have reaggravated his back injury and now who knew what would happen.

"Lily, did you see you and James blew up skating Twitter yesterday?" Mary asked.

Lily frowned. Her friends were obviously trying to distract her. "You know I don't follow any fans."

"Me either on my main, but I do on my burner account." Mary held out her phone. "You have to see this."

Lily took the phone. It was a tweet with three pictures attached. The caption read, ' _Lily looked like she was on the verge of tears after their fall and James was trying his best to make her laugh while he tightened his blades, they are sooo cute!_ '

Lily closely inspected the photos. She knew some of the photographers must have gotten a few shots of their little Tonya Harding moment but she hadn't really planned on ever going looking for said photos.

In the first picture, James was focused on his skates while Lily stood beside him with a deep frown on her face. In the second one, James was looking over at her with a smile on his face and she looked up at him with tears glistening in her eyes and her nose red.

In the third one, James was still smiling but Lily was trying to hide a grin behind her hand. God, even she had to admit that photoset was hella cute.

She scrolled down to read the replies, which she knew was dangerous, but she couldn't help herself.

' _they've only been together for four months and I already stan them so hard._ '

' _Find someone who looks at you the way James looks at Lily._ '

' _This is the cutest shit I've ever seen._ '

' _the way i have never seen them skate but this tweet turned me into an evans/potter stan._ '

Lily smiled. Sometimes she forgot there were nice people on Twitter. She turned to Mary. "You liked and retweeted?"

Mary shrugged. "It's my burner."

Melanie raised a brow. "Why do you need a Twitter burner account?"

"So I can tweet what I want without judgement!"

"Lily."

Lily's gaze turned upwards to see Minerva standing there with a sad look in her eyes. She tensed.

Lily returned Mary's phone and tried her best to give her friends a reassuring smile before standing up.

She and Minerva walked over to stand rinkside. Lily already dreading what Minerva was about to say.

"I just got off the phone with James's mum," Minerva said.

Lily nodded slowly, a lump in her throat.

"She said James had a headache and felt dizzy this morning so he got his head checked out too when they went to the doctor to see about his back. He seems to have a mild concussion."

Lily's ears started ringing, she felt sick all of a sudden.

Minerva continued. "His back isn't in great condition either. The doctor said he can't do any strenuous activity for at least three weeks, including not lifting _anything_."

Lily felt like she was running short on oxygen. "Anything?"

Minerva looked at Lily tenderly. "Anything." She rubbed Lily's shoulder. "I'm going to go call NISA now, is that okay?"

Lily knew the deeper meaning of Minerva's words, she was going to call NISA and tell them Lily and James were withdrawing from Europeans, which meant that the first alternates were going. The first alternates were John and Tala. Lily felt a flash of anger go through her chest.

She nodded and Minerva squeezed her arm before leaving.

* * *

It took Lily a couple of days to gather the guts to go and visit James. She spent the vast part of those two days locked in her room, moping until her mother had forced her to book a last-minute appointment with her therapist. Afterwards, she had decided to finally go to James's house and see him.

The day Minerva had talked to Lily, she'd called him later, they'd talked a little bit, but Lily had felt like crying the entire time, she'd hung up quickly and promised to go to his place and see him soon.

So, now she stood in front of the Potters' very nice townhouse holding a brownie dish and staring nervously at the front door.

The door opened all of a sudden. Lily's heart almost stopped.

"Lily! I thought I saw you through the window. Come in, honey," it was Mrs Potter.

Lily smiled nervously, she wasn't quite sure if she should be embarrassed or thankful. She walked into the house.

Mrs Potter hugged her tightly. "Oh, how are you, hon?"

Lily smiled slightly. "I'm okay. My mum made you this."

Mrs Potter's face brightened. "Oh, brownies! Thank you so much!"

She took the dish and walked further into the house. Lily followed.

"His room's just upstairs, first door to the right, you can go right up."

Lily nodded and started up the stairs before she heard Mrs Potter call her name. She turned.

Mrs Potter smiled. "Leave the door open a few inches, will you?"

Lily's eyes widened. "Of course." She scurried the rest of the way up.

James's door was already opened when she got upstairs. She knocked softly on the doorframe to get his attention. "Hey."

James looked up from his laptop. He was sitting in his bed, laying back on about five pillows stacked against his headboard. His laptop on another pillow on his lap. Lily could hear voices coming from the laptop speakers, he must've been watching something, which he quickly paused. "Oh, hi, Lily." He shut the laptop and threw it beside him. "Come in, please."

Lily wrapped her arms around herself and stepped into the room. It was surprisingly neat, but she wouldn't be surprised if that was James's mum's doing. She sat at the corner of the bed. "Whatcha watching?"

He took a second to respond. "Uh, Paddington."

Lily's brows raised slightly. She smiled. "Didn't take you for a Paddington fan."

He shrugged. "Just wanted to experience some momentaneous joy, and Paddington is the only one apt for the job."

Lily's smile dropped slightly. "Should you be watching movies though? With your concussion?"

"It's mild. The doctor said I could watch a little bit."

Lily nodded once before dropping her head in her hand. "I'm sorry," she said without looking at him.

She heard James shift in his seat. "What for?"

Lily sighed, she felt a lump in her throat.

"Lily, look at me." She turned to look at him, his eyes were getting that look in them again. "What the hell are you sorry for?"

She cleared her throat, she could feel tears pooling in her eyes. "I shouldn't have let you skate. You were hurt, and I did nothing. You always look after me, and I couldn't do the same."

James leaned forward to take Lily's hand. She immediately shook her head. "No, don't sit up. Your back." She scooted forward so she could sit next to him while he laid back, still holding his hand. Now that she was closer to his face, she could see the emotion in James's hazel eyes. He looked at her with such tenderness Lily felt like she didn't deserve.

He squeezed her hand. "Lily, I don't know what the hell you mean you did nothing. You must've asked me if I was okay some two hundred times in a span of ten minutes. You told me various times it was okay if we withdrew. What else could you have done? You're not a doctor, and I didn't say anything, you couldn't have known I was more hurt than I let on. If anything, I should be the one apologising."

Lily shook her head. "You took the fall for me, why would you need to apologise for that?"

"Because I can't imagine how scary it must have been feeling me start to slip off my edge while being upside down on the ice. You could have really hit your head bad, because of me."

Lily frowned. "It wasn't your fault, James."

"While I'm carrying you, it's my responsibility to keep you safe."

Lily shook her head. "It still wasn't your fault that your blades..."

"I know."

Lily paused for a second then tentatively said, "d'you think it was him?"

James sighed. "I'm about ninety per cent sure. But there's no way to prove anything. There were no cameras in the arena and no one saw anything."

Lily nodded. "I never thought he'd stoop that low."

"Well, there is a chance that it wasn't him."

Lily raised a brow.

James smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, I know. The best we can do is never let our skates out of sight during a competition again. Especially if John's there."

Lily's shoulders slumped. "This sucks."

"I know."

Mrs Potter appeared in the doorway with a small knock. "Lily, will you be staying for dinner?"

"Oh, I should really head back home," Lily said.

"Come on! We never got to thank you for dinner at your place. You should stay."

Lily smiled. "Okay."

Mrs Potter smiled widely. "Great! It'll be ready soon."

After his mother left, James let out a sigh. "I think it'll be beneficial for you to take a little break, in the long run. You've been working yourself silly."

Lily considered this. "I guess. I'd actually thought I'd pick up some more work though."

"Seriously?"

Lily shrugged. "Those plane tickets for Hungary and America won't pay for themselves."

James paused for a few seconds. "You know... you could always let my parents–"

Lily cut him off. "No, James. I can't let you do that."

James visibly held back a scoff. "Why not?"

"I just can't take your money, okay?" She was getting frustrated. "I don't want to feel like I owe you anything, and I don't want to feel like a charity case."

"Lily, you're my partner. And I want to help you. You shouldn't work yourself to the ground to be able to skate. Skating is already a full-time job, and you have two part-time jobs, it's taking a toll on you."

Lily averted her eyes. He might not have been entirely wrong. She shrugged. "I manage."

James raised a brow. "How many hours of sleep do you get a night?"

Lily scoffed. "Three and a half."

James seemed surprised. "Dear fuck, what are you, Leslie Knope? I thought you were gonna say like, six."

A small smile tugged at Lily's lips. "Was that a Parks and Recreation reference?"

"Don't try to change the subject, how is getting four hours of sleep a night healthy?"

Lily crossed her arms across her chest, purposefully not answering.

"Will you at least try to lighten your load the next three weeks. And then maybe reconsider?"

Lily's head tilted. "Is that how long you'll be off the ice? Three weeks?"

James sighed. "Yup."

Lily nodded slowly. "Fuck."

"Fuck, indeed."

* * *

Upon their arrival in the dining room for dinner, Lily quickly discovered that the meal Mrs Potter had been 'preparing' was actually Chinese takeout.

Mrs Potter smiled upon seeing them. "Come on, sit down, loves!"

Lily sat and started almost throwing dumplings onto her plate.

Mrs Potter beamed at her, Lily had no idea how her cheeks didn't get tired from all the smiling. "Lily, did James tell you his decision for your exhibition program?"

Lily was taken aback for a second. She'd almost forgotten their casual bet in Poland when James had been fixing his blades. As it turned out, Sirius had actually taken some time to Photoshop James's face onto Tonya Harding's face as he seemingly was quite bad at Photoshop. James had reminded her about the bet during the plane ride home, and upon her asking what he wanted as a reward he'd said she could decide.

Lily realised that letting James choose their exhibition program was potentially dangerous, but that was the only thing she'd come up with at the moment since he probably wouldn't take money if she offered.

She glanced at James before answering. "He hasn't, actually."

Mrs Potter turned to James expectantly.

He played around with his food. "Well, I thought maybe we choose the actual song together, but I thought it could be something by... Ricky Martin."

Lily's brows raised in surprise. "Oh." She looked at Mrs Potter, who had a knowing grin on her face, and suspected what was happening here. "That'd be cool."

Mrs Potter jumped slightly in her seat. "See? I told you she'd be cool with it."

"I mean, I'm not very well-versed on his catalogue, I only know two or three songs, but I'd be willing to check him out."

Mrs Potter's smile dropped ever so slightly at Lily's words, and Lily thought she saw the woman's eye twitch. She kept her excited tone though. "Not to worry, this family is made up exclusively of Ricky connoisseurs."

Lily turned to James with a raised brow. "Really?"

James shrugged. "Well, technically, yeah. Since my mother has been making me listen to the guy since before I was born. But I wouldn't say I'm a super fan."

Mrs Potter frowned. "What do you mean you're not a Ricky super fan? You've seen him in concert five times!"

James looked done. "Five times I was forced to attend."

Mrs Potter turned to Lily. "Ignore him, hon, he loves Ricky deep in his heart, I know it." She gave James a deep look. "And I know he'd never disappoint his mother by ruining his first chance to skate to Ricky freaking Martin."

Lily frowned. "First chance? Why didn't he and Catherine skate to him?"

Mrs Potter took a breath. "Well, Catherine is a great skater and I love her dearly but... she was never very good at Latin rhythms. And I remember your Samba from last season, and you were great!"

"Oh. Well, if you have any songs suggestions, you can give them to us."

James's eyes widened in alarm.

Mrs Potter grinned. "I would be absolutely delighted, Lily."

James groaned. "Just try to stick to less than ten songs, _mamá_."

Mrs Potter waved a hand dismissively. She beamed at Lily. "Oh, this is so exciting!"

Lily couldn't help but smile back.

* * *

Lily ended up taking almost the entire week off. She hadn't realised how tired she was until she slept for almost ten hours after getting back from James's house. She'd been so disoriented when she woke up, she'd seriously thought she'd slept for days.

After having spent so long without more than a few hours of free time at a time, she felt incredibly weird at first. She kept thinking there was something she had to do. Work, training, more work. But then she reminded herself she was taking a break from everything.

Of course, in the end, she only missed about four days of work at the diner, although her boss was very understanding, she probably wouldn't appreciate Lily taking a week off every month until April. But she felt a lot more relaxed than what she'd felt in a long time. It was nice. Almost worth missing Euros. _Almost_.

When she finally set foot on the rink Saturday morning, a slight sense of anxiety crept up her chest. Mostly because stepping onto the ice alone reminded her of those bleak nine months she'd spent partnerless. It made her shudder internally. But she reminded her brain she had a good, stable partner now.

Her friends hadn't hesitated on telling Lily they could lend her their partners whenever she needed, which Lily appreciated. So, after skating by herself for a while, she ran through a Starlight Waltz with Remus.

As they finished, Lily heard some yelling coming from the other end of the rink. She turned to see Narcissa and Evan fighting. "What's gotten into them?"

Remus shrugged and adjusted his grip on Lily's waist. "Dunno. They've been like that a lot more lately. I guess they genuinely fear not getting the European title."

"Hm. You're probably right. They haven't been like this since last years' Worlds."

Remus nodded knowingly.

Lily couldn't quite tear her eyes from them. It was like watching a trainwreck. Horace was desperately trying to get them to chill out but it was obvious they were both too frustrated. Lily probably would've cried if Evan gave her the look he was giving Narcissa right now. She had no idea how Narcissa dealt.

Eventually, Narcissa and Evan exited the ice early and Lily focused fully on running through all the difficult steps and turns in her programs.

It was nice. Getting to leave the rink early. Most days, Lily would stay at the Palace until 6 PM, and leaving at noon made her feel like she still had the whole day ahead of her. Of course, she quite missed training properly with James, but he had been right in saying she needed a bit of a break.

Lily walked into the locker room by herself. All her friends were staying at the Palace for longer, so the room was empty when she entered.

As she unlaced her skates, Lily heard raised voices outside the room. Fuck. It was Narcissa and Evan. She would've figured they'd left already.

At least Lily assumed it _was_ Narcissa whom Evan was yelling at since it was only his voice Lily could hear.

"–NEVER MET SUCH AN INCOMPETENT, USELESS SKATER, IT'S A MIRACLE YOU DON'T FALL EVERY TIME YOU HAVE TO SKATE ON ONE FOOT! I SWEAR IF WE LOSE THAT TITLE BECAUSE OF YOU I _WILL_ LEAVE YOU, NARCISSA."

Lily heard Narcissa reply in a much lower tone of voice but couldn't make out what she was saying.

_Fuck_. She'd heard them have arguments before, but she'd never seen Evan be so outright _horrible_ to Narcissa. Lily suppressed a shudder. Boy, if she didn't hate Evan Rosier already...

Lily startled when the locker room door opened and Narcissa walked in with her jaw set and a hard look in her eyes.

Narcissa took a look at Lily but didn't say anything, just sat down on the bench as far as possible from her and started unlacing her skates.

Lily knew Narcissa could be a little... volatile at times, so she stayed quiet while the older blonde hastily untied her laces.

"Are you okay?" Lily asked. She knew she was risking Narcissa's wrath, but it was impossible for her to _not_ say anything.

Narcissa scoffed. "Leave me alone, Lily. If you heard anything, just forget it."

Lily left her laces alone and looked at Narcissa. She couldn't help but think back to when she'd been with John. She tried not to think about that time often, but this was too reminiscent of the times John had said similar things to her and she'd done nothing about it.

Lily armed herself with courage. "It's not right, Narcissa. He shouldn't spew abuse like that at you."

Narcissa scowled, still working on her laces. "I'd hardly call it abuse. It's not like I don't yell at him too."

"Well, I've never heard _you_ call him useless and threaten to leave him."

Narcissa's jaw set. Her hands left her laces and she finally turned to look at Lily. "Just leave it alone. You wouldn't understand."

Lily pulled her leg up on the bench so she could face Narcissa properly. "But I do understand, Narcissa. Maybe it looked fine from the outside, but neither of my previous partnerships was exactly healthy. Especially with John. It was more than once that he said things like the ones Evans said to you to me."

Narcissa huffed. "You didn't leave him, though, did you? You stuck it out until _he_ left."

She did have a point there. "No, I didn't leave. But you know why I didn't? Because as female ice dancers, it's ingrained into us from a young age that we have to fight for our partners, tolerate them, take care of them because there are so few of them. We get a twisted idea of how relationships between men and women should be, and it took me a long time to get those ideas out of my head. Being in Minerva's group helped, but it wasn't until I started skating with James that I truly realised how a partner should treat you. He's never yelled at me, or blamed our shortcomings on me, or threatened to leave me. Those simple things _should_ be the standard, and we have to _make_ _them_ the standard. We shouldn't settle for less."

Narcissa got a bit of an odd look in her eyes for a second, but it quickly disappeared in favour of her usual glare. "That's a nice sentiment and all, Lily. But it's different for me. We've been undefeated this season, we're well on our way to an Olympic medal, there is no way I'm leaving him now. You said it yourself, male ice dancers are difficult to find, and I will not give up my career because Evan can be an arsehole sometimes."

Lily let out a small sigh. She'd figured Narcissa would say something like that. "It took me a while to realise this but... no medal is worth withstanding abuse."

Narcissa scowled. "So you're telling me if James started acting like this tomorrow you'd just give up your World spot and leave him behind?"

"In a heartbeat," Lily said with a serious look.

Narcissa seemed slightly taken aback by this response, but recovered quickly. She scoffed. "Just leave me alone, Evans. I didn't ask for a therapy session."

The word therapy turned on a light bulb in Lily's head. She finished taking off her skates and put on her shoes. She rifled through her handbag and there, in one of the small compartment, she found the business card she'd gotten from her therapist ages ago. She discreetly set it down on the bench beside her, stood up, and left without another word.


	15. Iris

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The only reason this didn't take me two extra weeks to finish is because of Taylor Swift releasing her new album which made me suddenly be super inspired to write. Also, I've included a video link to what a Golden Waltz is supposed to look like.

([Golden Waltz](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHpzI6g2VHc))

* * *

Lily watched the European Championships alone. Mary and Yuna had invited her to watch with them, but Lily felt like she might have an adverse reaction to watching the ice dance event, and she'd rather not be with her friends for it.

So, on Thursday at noon, Lily locked herself in her room, wrapped a blanket around herself and turned on the TV to watch the Short Dance. She didn't really pay that much attention as to what was happening. She felt mostly numb. It hadn't taken her mum long to come knocking at her door. Lily had reluctantly opened it and then let her mum hold her in silence while they watched the last group. It was nice. She felt like her mum had held her together.

The rest of the events were actually enjoyable for Lily. She felt incredibly proud of Javier, her personal favourite men's skater, for winning his fourth consecutive European title; she rejoiced for her friend Zhenya defending her title; she was blown away by watching Aljona still so strong after switching partners so late in her career.

She also felt very happy and proud of Melanie (okay, and Sirius, too) for placing eighth and getting a new personal best score.

Lily then proceeded to spend her birthday doing nothing, she'd only been dragged out of her house briefly by her friends to get dinner, but other than that, the day had passed without much fuzz. She tried not to overanalyse James's happy birthday text – of which, she'd only read the first two sentences of three paragraphs – but she had spent more time than what she'd be willing to admit thinking about those two sentences and thanked God she hadn't actually read the whole thing, her brain would've short-circuited analysing about every word of it.

Lily didn't usually speak to her friends a lot when they went away to competitions – and vice versa – so she was rightfully surprised when she got a call from Melanie Sunday morning. She was a bit groggy from sleep but she picked up.

"Hey, Lil. How are you?" Melanie's soft voice came through the phone.

Lily's eyes narrowed. "Um, I'm okay."

"Mary told me you didn't want to watch Euros with the rest."

Lily sighed lightly. Of course. "I just didn't feel like it, I guess."

"But, you're okay?"

" _Yes_! Promise."

Melanie sounded unsure but let it go. "Okay, then. I just thought I'd call since Narcissa has locked me out of our room."

Shit. Lily had almost forgotten Melanie had been unlucky enough to get paired up with Narcissa at their hotel. "What the hell? Why?"

Melanie sighed. "I don't pretend to know the inner workings of that woman's mind."

"Where are you, then?"

"Just on this small lounge at the end of my floor. I think she's upset because she and Evan lost the free dance last night, even though they did win the title, she was crying when I came in, and she yelled at me to get out."

Lily thought for a second. "Hm. I hope Evan didn't give her too much shit about it."

"Evan?"

"Well, their relationship isn't exactly sunshine and rainbows, is it?"

"Huh. I guess not. I figure she's gotta unlock the door at some point since she has to go to the gala rehearsal in like, fifteen minutes."

"Right. So I take it you and Sirius weren't..."

"Invited to the gala? No, no, we weren't. But it's okay, it was a long shot either way."

Lily wished the organisers would wake up and realise that not only Melanie and Sirius were always crowd-pleasers, but their exhibition programs were _always_ guaranteed fun.

After a pause, Melanie said, "you should've been here."

Lily's breath hitched. There was nothing more she would've wanted. "I know."

"John and Tala flopped bad. They couldn't even get the crowd to pay a sliver of attention to them. They're _that_ boring."

Lily tried to bite down a smile. "Yeah, I saw. The thing that's been keeping me going at the moment is the thought that _we're_ going to Worlds and not them."

Melanie chuckled. "Yes, that is absolutely right. You keep thinking that. In a few short months, we'll be in Boston and John and Tala will be sitting at home."

A wave of appreciation for Melanie passed through Lily. She already knew all the things Melanie was telling her, but hearing reaffirmation out loud was unbelievably comforting.

They hung up not long after that. The Europeans finally over and done with, talking to Melanie, and the thought of finally getting back on the ice with James next week had Lily feeling a sense of peace she hadn't experienced in a while.

* * *

It was a Wednesday the day James returned to the ice. Lily had arrived at the rink earlier than usual with him so that they could have some space before everyone else got there. And she wouldn't admit this to anyone but she was also just eager to skate with James again after three weeks.

Lily sat beside James on the bleachers while he finished lacing up his skates. She tried to think of something to say but felt like whatever she said would be the wrong thing.

"I heard Minnie made you skate with some other guys, I hope you didn't miss me too much."

James's voice took Lily right out of the trance-like state she'd been in staring at her skates. "Oh, yeah. It was okay, I guess. Not the same as with you, obviously."

He smiled. "Well, not to worry. I'm good as new, promise."

Lily managed a small nod. She was still a little nervous. She wasn't sure she'd _ever_ let him lift her again. She _had_ to though.

James finally finished tightening his laces and stood up. "Let's go, then."

Lily took a deep breath and stood up as well. She followed him to the entrance and waited for him to take off his guards and step onto the ice before following. She watched him carefully as he stroked slowly.

He looked at her, a slightly annoyed look on his face. "Lily, stop looking at me like that. I'm not going to break."

Lily exhaled sharply and looked down briefly. She skated until she reached his side. He took her hand and they skated along the boards.

"Should we do a Ravensburger Waltz?" James asked.

Lily cocked her head in thought. "Um..."

"Come on, we can't put this off forever, the Bavarian Open is in less than three weeks. I'm absolutely fine, and I promise to tell you if at any point I'm not."

During James's recovery, NISA had decided to send them to the Bavarian Open in Germany to raise their world standing as much as possible before Worlds.

Lily nodded. "Alright then."

James grinned. "I'm going to go get them to play something more waltz-y."

He let go of her hand and rushed over to the other side of the rink. Lily was tempted to call after him to skate slower but stopped herself.

God, if someone had told her four months ago she'd be _this_ distressed over James Potter's wellbeing she would've laughed in their face.

If Lily was honest with herself, she knew that her crippling anxiety over James's health wasn't just a typical reaction to her skating partner being injured, but she was genuinely afraid to even think about the deeper meaning of these feelings.

"Sweet Christ, you've really got it bad, haven't you?"

Lily's heart dropped in startlement. Alena had snuck up on her at some point. "What are you doing here so early?"

Alena huffed. "Skating. Now, stop diverting."

Lily shrugged. " _What_? I've literally no idea what you're talking about."

Alena raised a brow. "You and James."

"What about me and James?"

Alena crossed her arms over her chest. "You fancy each other."

Lily shook her head. "Our relationship is _not_ like that."

Alena chuckled. "Right, it _doesn't_ seem like you guys want to jump each other's bones at any given minute."

Lily's mouth fell open in surprise. What a bold child. "James and I are and will remain strictly platonic..." she struggled to find a word, " _business partners._ "

Alena had the gall to let out a resounding laugh. "Right, of course. Lily, you're _so_ into James, it's painfully obvious, really."

Lily was ready to retort when she stopped herself. Was there really a point in lying to this child that seemed to have been born with a built-in lie detector? She sighed. "It _is not_."

A pleased look passed Alena's eyes. "It's a dangerous thing to be in love with a skating partner."

"Whoa, okay, I wouldn't say _in love_."

Alena smirked slightly. "Right. You should still tread carefully. Wouldn't be ideal to have to search for yet another partner at your age."

Lily's jaw dropped. She knew that was just Alena's humour but _Jesus Christ_. The little shit. "Excuse me? I'm eighteen! And I'm not _planning_ on having to get a new partner."

Alena's smirk seemed to grow. "Alright."

She skated off.

Lily hadn't really thought about it before, but the thought of James leaving her made her queasy. She didn't think she'd even _want_ to get a new partner in the event of their split. She'd never find a better partner than James unless she snagged Scott Moir himself. She felt like she still had so much to accomplish in skating but she couldn't picture doing it with anyone but James – which was _not_ a sane person thought since they'd only been skating together for _four months_.

"Hey."

James had reappeared at her side. Lily felt like hiding. She knew James couldn't know what she'd been thinking but he might realise she'd gotten weirdly emotional all of a sudden.

She took a deep breath. "I don't want to do a Ravensburger Waltz."

James frowned. "Oh?"

"It's just such an ugly pattern, I want to skate something more... enjoyable for your first time back on the ice."

James nodded. "Alright."

God, she really hoped he didn't think she was being weird. "How about a Golden Waltz?"

He smiled widely. "Sure." He took her hand. "There's our waltz."

To Lily's surprise, Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls had started playing. Well, it _was_ the right tempo, technically. She let James lead her to the far side of the rink.

Lily faced James with one hand clasped in his and the other on his shoulder. They stood together as James counted them in to the beat of the music.

Lily had almost forgotten how much she enjoyed skating the Golden Waltz. It took her a little bit to remember all the steps, but once they were really into it, it was as if they'd been skating it all season.

_And all I can taste is this moment_

_And all I can breathe is your life_

_And sooner or later it's over_

_I just don't wanna miss you tonight_

"Why'd you hate the Ravensburger Waltz so much anyway?" James asked.

"I don't _hate it_. It's relatively easy to skate but it's just so ugly. It's all those swing three turns."

He considered this. "Shoot the duck, then."

Lily almost lost her focus at James's reply. She quickly realised what he was talking about though, and she complied. James turned her around so they'd be in a Kilian hold, side by side, and Lily lowered herself onto a 'shoot the duck' position, in a sitting stance with one foot on the ice and her free leg outstretched in front of her while James held on to her hand to help her keep her balance.

When she got back up and faced him again, she held her breath. She wasn't entirely sure what was it about that exact moment but looking at his smile and his deep hazel eyes, she felt her heart drop into her stomach. She hadn't realised how much she'd missed him until then. She'd missed seeing his face every day, and being in his arms five hours a day, and rolling her eyes at his bad jokes, and holding his hand.

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming_

_Or the moment of truth in your lies_

She momentarily regretted not doing a better job at talking to him while he was away from the rink in the past weeks, but every time she'd picked up her phone she'd panicked at the thought of seeming overbearing. But she realised now that that was stupid. She was his friend. Their relationship had developed enough that they could safely say they were _close_. It was stupid to pretend that they weren't.

_And I don't want the world to see me_

_'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

What she'd told Alena had been right. They _were_ platonic business partners (yes, and also friends) and they couldn't be more than that. But at that moment she found herself wishing that they _could_ be something more.

They finished the second section of the waltz during the lengthy instrumental part of the song. They'd finished in a close hold, facing each other. James's arm was wrapped around her waist, holding her closer than necessary, but Lily found that she didn't quite mind. The song still played softly, fading out over the speakers.

Lily looked into James's eyes and hoped he could tell she'd genuinely missed him. Lily wasn't sure if it was her jumper or the closeness of James's body, but she felt her temperature rising. She exhaled slowly and snuck a glance at his lips.

The song suddenly picked up the pace again and Lily was taken out of her trance. She jumped out of James's arms and shook her arms out, unsure of what to do with them. She felt panicky all of a sudden.

_When everything's meant to be broken_

_I just want you to know who I am_

James cleared his throat. His cheeks were flushed red. "Um, maybe we can do a Ravensburger now? I promise the swing three-turns look like the height of elegance when _you_ do them."

Lily smiled, despite herself. "Sure."


	16. Catherine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY YOU GUYS. School and life things just started stacking up and I kept putting this off. Plus, the time has finally come for all regular depression, pandemic depression and seasonal depression to meet, and even though it's only been like a week, I'm not doing too great !! (But don't worry, I'm managing as best as I can). It also didn't help that when sitting down to write this, once I ended up making new covers for not only this story but all of my stories (which required a lot of time for me to figure out how to turn Sasha Stepanova's hair red on photoshop) and I now realise you can't even see here just on the fanfic.net version of the story, then the second time I ended up making a video edit for what I think the vibe for Lily and James as an ice dance team is, I kind of threw it together quickly with clips I already had, but I'm happy with how it turned out, the link will be at the beginning of the chapter if you want to watch it, I might have actually put a hint of what's to come in a couple of chapters at the end there ;) anyway, I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Also, I should warn that there's talk of eating disorders in this chapter.

([jily edit](https://twitter.com/tchaikovskayas/status/1322670847203500032?s=21))

Lily didn't care much for Valentine's Day. She'd gotten a few odd trinkets from boys in previous years, and last year she'd been with Eugenie, although they'd only been dating for about a month, so neither of them made exactly a grand gesture, they'd just exchanged presents and gone to dinner.

This year, she was very single though, so imagine her surprise when she opened her locker door and found a small bouquet of flowers inside.

Lily looked around the room as if whoever left the flowers was still there. She only spotted Mary with a cheeky smile on her face.

Lily read the note attached to the arrangement.

_Lily,_

_Before you get mad at me, I realise that Valentine's Day has a bit of a romantic connotation but in my mother('s)land of Chile, it is also known as the Day of Friendship. So, these flowers are to symbolise how much I appreciate your friendship and partnership. That is_ all _it means, so, please accept them._

_With love,_

_James_

Lily tried hard to hold back the grin from her face but found it hard.

Mary nudged her on the ribs. "Those are nice."

Lily bit her lip to school her features. She nodded. She grabbed her leg warmers from the locker and closed it quickly.

James was already on the ice once Lily came out of the locker room. His face brightened when he spotted her and her insides warmed. She slipped onto the ice beside him quietly.

"Did you see the..."

"Yep," Lily answered quickly. "They were nice."

James nodded and rubbed the back of his neck a little nervously. "I hope I didn't overstep, Mary let me into your locker."

Lily shook her head. "No, it's okay. I... it was nice. Thank you."

Minerva went over to them quickly and they got to work. They worked on adapting their programs for the junior category since the requirements were slightly different than for the senior category. Lily didn't think she'd felt this good and light in the rink in... well, ever really. 

She liked how easy things were with James, he wasn't moody or overly dramatic like some of her previous partners had been. He listened to her and she found his presence reassuring. And she really didn't want for it to change.

Once their session on the ice was over, Lily found her friends arguing on the bleachers. "What's going on?"

Melanie and Yuna gave each other a look.

Mary scoffed. "Do not tell her!"

Well, now Lily needed to know. "What?"

Melanie tore Mary's cell phone from her hands and handed it to Lily. "Look at her story."

Lily took the phone. Catherine's Instagram page was open on the screen. She hadn't posted very often since moving away. Lily's chest tightened. She clicked on the little profile picture feeling a little short of breath.

It was a bouquet of flowers. Not exactly like Lily's but in the same style. The handwriting on the small card clearly stated ' _Rooting for you always, James_ '. Lily felt her heart drop. She handed the phone back to Melanie.

Her friends looked at her in concern. Lily tried to brush it off. She handed Mary's phone back to her. "Guys, it's okay. He can send Catherine flowers too, they're still friends."

Mary frowned. "Wait, are we still pretending like you don't fancy James?"

"I _don't_ fancy him, Mary," Lily whisper-yelled.

"Okay, so, you don't mind that he and Catherine might be going out?"

"They're not going out," Lily's voice faltered in the end. She realised she really had no idea if they might. She felt like she was going to collapse. _What am I, thirteen?_ _Pull yourself together, you dumb bitch_ , she scolded herself.

Mary raised a sceptic brow. "But would you mind? If they did?"

"Mary, come on. I seriously doubt they're dating, let's just drop it," Melanie put in.

But Lily's stupid brain wouldn't drop it. Even if they weren't dating, it irked Lily that James remained close with Catherine. She felt like an asshole for even thinking that but it truly wasn't (just) because she liked him. Actually, it had almost nothing to do with that.

"Hey, are we going to dance class?" James had approached them at some point.

Right, dance class. They had planned on doing that after their session on the ice. Lily cleared her throat. "Yes. Let's go."

Lily walked beside James to the small dance studio not too far from the rink while trying very hard not to let her mind wander where it shouldn't.

"You okay?" James asked.

Lily's head snapped in his direction. She'd hoped he wouldn't say anything of her crossed arms and dead silence. "Fine."

James stopped in his tracks and turned to face her. "Lily, there's obviously something bothering you. We're about to spend the next hour dancing in very close proximity, so I think it's best if we resolve this now."

Lily sighed. "I can dance with you even though I'm mad at you, it's happened before," she muttered.

James frowned. "Wait, what?"

Lily huffed. "I'm fine, James. Can we please just go?"

He shook his head. "You were in a great mood all through practice. You even laughed at my jokes! Then you went over to talk to your friends and your whole mood switched. So, something obviously happened. Will you please tell me what it is? Did I do something?"

She looked over at the wall beside his head so she wouldn't have to look in his eyes, she was afraid she might forget what she was mad about if she did. She didn't want to sound like a jealous bitch asking about the flowers though. "If... Catherine was to come back today... would you drop me for her?"

James looked genuinely shocked at her words. He ran a hand through his hair. "What...? Why would you even be thinking about that? She's not coming back."

"Just answer the question. Please."

James reached out as if to touch Lily's cheek but put his hand down, Lily kind of wished he hadn't. He sighed. "No, I wouldn't drop you for her, Lily. Catherine was a great partner and I still care about her as a friend, but no, if she hypothetically were to come back right now, I'd still want to skate with you. She won't come back though, you can be sure of that."

Lily held back a scoff. "She could very easily change her mind. It's not like she'll find a partner as good as you that easily. I would've probably already changed my mind if I were her."

"Lily, she hasn't said anything yet, but Catherine didn't just leave this rink, she quit skating. She's retiring."

Now, that threw Lily aback a little bit. "Oh. Seriously?"

Retiring at their age wasn't entirely uncommon, but she'd been doing pretty well, Lily couldn't imagine why she'd want to retire all of a sudden. 

"Yes," James replied.

"Why?"

"That's not something for me to tell."

Lily thought for a second. "Are you sure she's not just taking a break? Why would she retire now? She was doing great. She won a JGP Final medal."

James let out a small sigh, he was starting to get frustrated. "Will you just trust me on this?"

Lily bit her lip and took a second to respond. "Okay... fine."

James nodded once. "Can we go now? We're going to be late."

Lily didn't feel entirely reassured, though she did feel slightly better. So, she nodded and followed after James.

* * *

The dance class had been slightly tense. Talking things out had made Lily feel better but there was still something slightly... off between her and James. She thought it was just fallout from their argument but two days later, they were still being a little wary with each other, the ease from the past few weeks since James had gotten back on the ice gone.

This meant that Lily was very surprised when James had texted her, asking her to go somewhere with him after practice that day. He wouldn't tell her where they were going, just that he'd drive her there from the rink and then home.

James being so cryptic put Lily on edge all during practice, but she tried to put it off her mind. After their afternoon session on the ice, James led Lily to a sleek black car she assumed was his. It wasn't the same car she'd seen his parents drive before though. Ah, to be rich.

They rode in silence for about thirty minutes until James pulled up at a nondescript suburban house. It was fairly large and painted a neat pearl colour. Lily had no idea what was happening.

Still not saying a word, he got out of the car and started walking towards the house. Lily followed after him, and though she didn't want to be the one breaking the silence, she finally gave in and asked, "What is this place?"

"You'll see," replied James.

The front door of the house was open, and James walked in casually. Lily's eyes immediately took in the foyer in an attempt to guess where she was. Only a small plaque on the wall made her realise what this place was. It was an in-patient facility for treatment of eating disorders. Her breath caught.

Lily barely had time to process this when a door opened to the side and out came Catherine.

Lily's stomach dropped. 

Catherine's face was sunken, her skin stretching over her cheekbones, making them look sharper. Her arms were covered by long sleeves but Lily could tell that they were slimmer than before. Before they had been slim, but just enough for it not to look quite so... skeletal, now there was no denying there was something wrong here.

Catherine had always been very thin. But Lily had never really thought much of it. Most female figure skaters were quite skinny. In fact, a lot of coaches preferred taking in small girls – which Lily knew was wrong. A lot of girls at the rink had envied Catherine, how she managed to keep that slim figure, and though Lily had never had much of an issue with her own weight, she had definitely noticed Catherine's eating habits, having trained alongside her for years now.

Looking at her now though, guilt gnawed at Lily's heart. Because she had definitely noticed Catherine eat very little in a day back then, but she'd never said anything about it. She hadn't thought it was her place.

Lily hoped the shock on her face didn't show too much. She didn't want Catherine to feel bad. But the brunette just smiled good-naturedly at her. "Hey, Lily. It's nice to see you."

James took a step towards Catherine. "Hey." He hugged her quickly. Lily genuinely worried he'd break her.

"Why don't you step into my office?" 

Catherin led them down the hallway and to a big lounge room with sofas and other furniture. There were three people playing on some sort of pinball machine in the corner but Catherine led them to the other side of the room and sat down on one of the sofas. James sat next to her.

Lily took an armchair beside the sofa and sat so she could face Catherine properly.

"So, how have you been?" James asked.

Catherine smiled. "Quite well, actually. My roommate got discharged and she let me have her bathroom time. Well, at least until they realise they have to take her off the rotation."

James chuckled. "That's good."

"What about you guys? Patrick sent me a video of your free dance at the Torun Cup and barring from your little Tonya Harding moment, that was quite great."

James looked caught off guard. He struggled to find words for a few seconds. "Oh? Patrick sent you that?"

Patrick was Catherine's closest friend at the rink, a pair skater. Lily wasn't sure why but she felt mortified at the prospect of Catherine watching that. 

Catherine rolled her eyes playfully. "Stop looking at me like that, guys. I promise I didn't have a breakdown watching James skate with another girl."

Lily looked down at her hands self-consciously. She wanted to say something to Catherine, at least to not act so weirdly, but she just couldn't get words out of her mouth.

Catherine glanced at her, then turned to James. "Hey, do you mind finding Darnell, the nurse and asking him for the red notebook I gave him for safekeeping?"

James nodded once and stood. Lily very much didn't want to stay with Catherine by herself, but she wasn't about to say anything to James. So she just watched as he exited the room.

Catherine looked at Lily. The easy smile still on her face. "So... James told me you've been feeling a little... unsure about your partnership."

Lily shifted in her seat. "I guess... I just, I wasn't great with him when we started out, and the agreement back then was that we'd take this season as a trial and then see if we wanted to continue... and now I'm afraid that he'll take me up on that when the season ends."

Lily could not believe she'd just said all of that to Catherine. 

Catherine nodded slowly. After a beat, she said, "I'm not coming back, you know?"

Lily didn't know what to say.

Catherine had a more serious look on her face now. "That sport... it broke me. And as much as I did love it, I don't think I could go back and stay healthy at the same time. And if there's one thing I've learned in the past six months is that my health comes first." She took a breath. "James was a great partner and I probably wouldn't have lasted as long as I did skating if it weren't for him, and he still cares about me because he's a good person, but I wasn't a great partner to him at the end, and I genuinely don't think he even really wanted to skate with me those last few months, but I appreciated him sticking by me through those struggles and I'll always be grateful to him for that."

Lily felt terrible. "I... I get it, Catherine. This was all just... me, I shouldn't have doubted him. I feel bad you had to tell me all this just because I was feeling unsure of myself."

Catherine shook her head. "It's fine, Lily, I find it kind of cathartic to finally talk about it with someone from... my old life."

"Don't you talk about it with James?"

A smile tugged at Catherine's lips. "We mostly just skirt around the topic. He feels genuinely guilty about... everything, even though I've told him he shouldn't. You should see him whenever I use the actual words 'anorexia' or 'eating disorder', his face just freezes, it's kind of funny actually."

"Listen... I'm sorry about... not doing anything to help you. Because I'd be lying if I said I never noticed anything, because I did notice some things, I just never had the guts to say anything about it."

"It's okay, Lily. Not your fault. Even if you'd tried to help, I would _not_ have accepted your help."

"Still, we were rinkmates for years, I feel like I could've tried to do _something_."

Catherine looked into Lily's eyes. "Lily, it's fine. No hard feelings. This isn't even slightly your fault, or James's. It's in the culture of the very sport, which I've never seen either of you do anything to perpetuate. It's the judge who told me at twelve years old that I needed to lose some weight to get better scores. It's my coaches who put me on diets since I was a child. It was the British Ice Skating officials who told me I was too big for ice dance. It was the coach who weighed me every single morning and would punish me if I put on even one gram. You haven't done any of that, so you are officially exempt from any blame."

Lily found it hard to meet Catherine's eyes. How anyone would think Catherine was too big for ice dance or anything was beyond her. She knew things like this happened a lot in figure skating, but nothing quite like that had ever happened to her. Sure, there were some judges and officials who overstepped their boundaries on occasion but her mum had always taught her not to listen to them, and she usually didn't. "I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. I understand why you wouldn't want to come back and I absolutely respect that, but ice dance would be lucky to have you."

Catherine smiled. "That's nice of you to say, but rest assured that it will be a long time before I set foot on a rink again. Besides, now that I have tons of time and am starting to get a semblance of mental and physical health, the possibilities are endless! I want to go out into the world, experience new things, meet different people. I've been stuck working my arse off and destroying my body for the past ten years or so, I'd like to go out and have some fun for a change."

For the first time in the evening, Lily let out a smile. "That sounds great. I very much support that idea."

James returned to the room just then, a little out of breath. "Catherine, I could not find Nurse Darnell anywhere, I'm sorry." He looked at the girls' smiling faces and got a look of relief on his face.

Catherine let out a small smirk. "Oh, I totally forgot he's not in today, sorry."

James's shoulder slumped slightly. "That's okay."

Not long after, more people started piling into the room, and it was time for Lily and James to leave.

They walked in silence to the car, though it was a less awkward silence than the one they'd been in on the way to the facility.

James waited until they were on the road to speak. "So... you guys have a nice talk?"

Lily took a breath. "Uh... yeah, you could say that." She thought for a moment. "I'm sorry. I should've trusted you when you said she wasn't coming back."

"That's okay, Lily. I get it. I just thought it'd be good if you talked to her."

"Oh, I'm glad I talked to her. I just hope I didn't overstep... if she didn't want people to know about this."

James shrugged. "She said it was okay. And I think she'll say something publicly soon, once she officially announces her retirement, probably in a few weeks actually."

"So, she's been here the entire time?"

"Oh, no, at first she and her family wanted to deal with it on their own, and it seemed like it was working at first, but then things got worse really quickly, that's when she decided she wasn't coming back to skating at all and when I asked Minerva about partnering up with you. Then, she went to this clinic out of the city and it didn't work out there, and then she came here a couple of months ago."

Lily felt rude not saying anything about Catherine, but she couldn't help hanging on to one part of what James had said. "What do you mean you asked Minerva about partnering up with me?"

"Well, of course I was the one who suggested it, Lily. She wasn't going to just ask you to partner with me when she knew full well you didn't like me, I had to actually beg her to try to convince you."

Lily bit her lip but could hardly contain the smile that overtook her features. She was glad his eyes were on the road and not on her.


	17. goodnight n go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got a bunch of nice comments on this story recently and it made me incredibly happy and inspired me to update, so thank you for that !!  
> The chapter title is in reference to the song goodnight n go by Ariana Grande, it reminds me of Jily A LOT and especially this chapter. Just putting that out there if u want to listen to it.   
> I also put a video of my current favourite ice dancers (since there has been no Stepbuk this season), Kaganovskaya and Angelopol. Vasilisa Kaganovskaya is almost exactly how I imagine Lily to be as an ice dancer. She's very charismatic and very innately talented on the ice, her extension and body lines are just so aesthetically pleasing. I definitely recommend watching their R&J free dance, it's absolutely stunning.

([video](https://youtu.be/hxh5_ho_KZ4))

* * *

Lily could not believe her eyes. She felt like the world had stopped as she sat on the hotel bed and stared at her phone screen.

She'd woken up to about twenty text messages from Mary. She'd been alarmed at first but then her heart had stopped when she read them.

_LILY WAKE UP WHAT THE FUCK_

_SLDKFHSLDJ WHAT IS HAPPENING_

_LILIAN, TESSA AND SCOTT ARE COMING BACK TO COMPETITION, THIS IS NOT A DRILL_

_I REPEAT TESSA AND SCOTT ARE COMING BACK NEXT SEASON_

_THEY WANT TO GO TO THE OLYMPICS IN TWO YEARS AND RECLAIM THEIR TITLE_

_LILY I THINK I CAN'T ACTUALLY BREATHE RIGHT NOW_

After those texts, there were three voice messages which basically consisted of Mary screaming and rambling excitedly. Lily then went straight to Twitter where everyone she followed was promptly freaking out, as they should.

She couldn't keep the grin off her face as she texted Mary back, she didn't even care that they would now have another rival, it wasn't like she and James could ever beat Tessa and Scott, especially not within two seasons. It would just be an honour to get to compete alongside them. To share the ice with them.

Before she could realise it, over a half-hour had passed and she hadn't finished packing. In fact, she'd almost forgotten she was supposed to be leaving Germany in a few hours.

The Bavarian Open had been by far her most stress-free competition of the season. Two clean performances, no injuries, no drama, a gold medal. That was her ideal competition. They'd competed in the junior category in order to be eligible for Junior Worlds the following months. Lily had immediately checked their scores there against the personal best scores of the other teams attending Junior Worlds, and it was looking pretty good.

Lily stood as she heard a knock on the door. It was James. "You almost ready?"

Lily immediately put her phone away as James entered the room. "Um... almost."

"What are you so smiley about?"

Lily bit her lip. She couldn't believe she got to break the news to James. "V/M are coming back to competition."

His brows raised in surprise. "Oh shit, that's great."

Lily grinned. "Maybe we'll get to compete with them."

"They're coming back for next season, then?"

Lily's smile dropped slightly. She'd momentarily forgotten she and James weren't currently making any long-term plans for the future. She mentally scolded herself for having already pictured herself and James sharing the ice with Tessa and Scott at the Olympics in just two years. "Yeah."

She busied herself throwing things into her suitcase.

"You know, Ravensburg isn't too far from here, we could stop by to tell them just how much you hate the Ravensburger Waltz."

Lily laughed, her tension easing slightly. "It's actually kind of growing on me. I don't hate skating it."

"I wouldn't know, every dance is a good one if I skate it with you."

Lily felt her heart skip a beat. She went to the closet to keep him from noticing how red her ears had gotten. Why did he say things like that with no warning? It almost made her forget she couldn't have feelings towards him.

She threw the last few things in the case. "We should go, or we'll be late."

* * *

Getting back to London meant resuming intense training for both Junior and Senior Worlds. Lily barely had time to breathe. But when she did, she had to do one of the things she hated most in the world. Fighting with her mum.

Lily had very much been slacking on her job at the diner for the past month or so, and upon coming back from Germany, she had promised herself she'd work every day no matter what. She really wanted to make enough money for at least one of her parents to be able to go with her to America for Worlds.

She did pretty well the first week, then Petunia decided she just _had_ to bring her boyfriend home to meet her parents. Lily had no idea why she had to be present for this. But Mrs. Evans had decided it'd be rude of her not to attend the dinner they'd host for the guy.

In the end, Lily had had to give in, because once her mother had her mind set on something, there was no changing it.

So, Lily sat at the dinner table as the large blonde man named Vernon Dursley – who was obviously not nearly good enough for Petunia – droned on and on about his very boring business degree and prospective job at a drilling company.

Lily was actually embarrassed for the leap her heart gave when she saw a text notification from James pop up on her phone screen. She quickly erased the smile from her face, hoping no one had noticed. James was asking if she was working. Lily quickly replied and set her phone back down.

She tried to listen to Vernon. She really did. At first. But he was just so goddamn boring. He had barely even looked at Lily since he'd arrived, and Lily had the rousing suspicion that Petunia had talked shit about her to him. Which hurt her more than she thought it would. She never actually thought they'd be reduced to badmouthing each other to their boyfriends. Lily might not be in the greatest terms with her sister, but she'd never want her boyfriend or girlfriend to hate Petunia.

She'd been kind of hoping her relationship with Petunia would be repaired, with time. Maybe once Petunia realised that their sisterhood was worth more than a silly sports rivalry. And that medals and scores had never actually meant anything. But she was starting to doubt that.

A succession of texts appeared on Lily's phone screen. She was grateful it was on silent. James had sent her a bunch of pictures. She discreetly unlocked her phone under the table. James had sent three pictures of himself wearing his new costume. His previous costume had been okay, but his mum had thought it wasn't the right shade of blue and had had it remade, adding some more details in the process.

The shade was a little darker than it had been. Lily liked it. The velvety fabric looked good on James. She saved the pictures to her phone for professional scientific purposes. _Looks good!_ she replied. She wasn't sure how many exclamation points to use. She'd put three at first but ended up settling for the one.

 _I thought you were working every day this week,_ James quickly texted.

Lily glanced up to check if either of her parents were glaring at her for having her phone out at the table. Her father looked like he was about to fall asleep. In fact, he was so still, she thought maybe he _had_ fallen asleep even if his eyes were open. Her mum was staring intently at Vernon, probably trying to focus on whatever he was saying, which obviously required a visible effort.

 _Mum forced me to attend dinner with my sister's dumb boyfriend :/_ , she wrote as quickly as she could.

_I take it you don't like this dumb boyfriend._

_He's just v boring_ , Lily replied. _He's been talking about drills the entire time._

 _Jesus_.

Lily's heart almost stopped at James's next text. _Want me to rescue you?_

She took a minute to respond. _How?_

_You can say you have a skating emergency and I need you to come to the rink right now._

That actually sounded tempting. But she needed a bulletproof excuse if her mum was going to believe her. _Mum would never let me go to the rink by myself at this hour._

_Tell her I'm picking you up._

_Okay, but even if I said that, what would I actually do once I'm out of the house?_

This time it took James more than his usual ten seconds to text back. _Well, come with me to the rink, I'd_ never _suggest you actually lie to your mother, Lily._

Lily rolled her eyes at her phone. _Right. Except there is no emergency._

 _Ah, but you wouldn't be lying about where you are though._ Then another text. _Either way, I'm already on my way, see you in ten._

Lily almost dropped her phone. Before she could text back, a call from James came through.

She knew she shouldn't interrupt Vernon's never-ending monologue about drills but she turned to her dad, pleadingly. "Dad, it's James, he said there's an emergency."

Mr. Evans nodded absent-mindedly and Lily rose from the table before anyone could stop her.

"James," she said into the phone once in the hallway and out of earshot.

"I'm already on my way, Lily. Just tell your parents there's a skating emergency."

Lily frowned. "What sort of skating emergency?"

"Uh... I don't know. There was some sort of problem with our documentation for Worlds?"

Lily thought for a moment. Maybe it was just crazy enough to work.

"Come on. We'll get some light training in for an hour and I'll bring you back."

That sounded unbelievably tempting. Her mum would definitely be suspicious of the timing of this 'emergency', but she'd never get proof that it wasn't true. "Fine."

"Great, see ya soon."

Lily decided to go with the strategy of announcing her emergency to the entire dinner table. That way, her mum wouldn't want to scold her in front of company and she wouldn't have to explicitly ask for permission to go. Her mother did look suspicious, but ultimately let her go, even if she didn't believe Lily, maybe she'd realised the torture she'd been putting her daughter under. Vernon barely spared her a glance. Petunia glared at her, but what else was new?

James arrived at Lily's house surprisingly fast. Lily flew out the door and got into his fancy car. She complained about Vernon Dursley almost the entire way while James listened patiently.

Once they got to Alexandra Palace, Lily remembered the rink was still open to the public at this hour, though it was late enough that she didn't think there'd be too many people around.

Lily sat next to James on one of the benches and started lacing up her skates. There were only about ten people on the ice, no familiar faces.

"That's nice," James said, pointing to Lily's skate.

Yuna had bedazzled Lily's white boots with a series of five small pink hearts on the sides when they'd hung out for a bit after practice. It looked cute. "I can ask Yuna to do yours if you want."

James smiled. "If she could do a lion on the side, I'd go for that."

"You might be overestimating Yuna's bedazzling abilities."

They finished tying their skates and entered the ice. There wasn't much that they could do with the general public on the ice, they couldn't risk running someone over. But they stroked around for a bit, James taking Lily's hand in his, which she figured was out of instinct more than anything at this point. But she wasn't complaining.

Without saying anything, James put his arm around Lily's waist in a dance hold. They did crossovers, although they were trying not to gain too much speed (which pretty much defeated the purpose of crossovers). Lily separated from James as a clumsy skater almost crashed into them. She shared an amused look with James.

She started going through a few of the steps that she'd been practising that morning, trying to flow with the rhythm of the Taylor Swift song playing over the speakers.

James stared at her intently. "Have I ever told you you've got the cleanest rockers I've ever seen?"

Lily stopped in her tracks. He'd _just_ complimented one of the steps she'd been doing, nothing else, but something about the way he said it got her kind of... flustered. "No, I don't," she muttered.

"Swear to god," James insisted.

She rolled her eyes. "They're fine, I guess."

"Seriously, Lily. You've got to stop selling yourself short. You are literally the most talented ice dancer I know. Sometimes I watch you skate and I'm in awe of your skill and I thank my lucky stars you chose me as your partner."

James's words sent Lily's brain into a bit of turmoil. She felt warmth coiled deep in her chest. But she also felt... mad. Before she could think better of it, she said, "You have _got_ to stop saying things like that."

A crease formed between James's brows. "What?"

Lily was so close to just plain asking him to shut his eyes when he spoke to her because they were so disarming, she didn't think it was fair that he had that advantage against her. "Just... whenever you say nice things like that about me, it makes it hard to—"

Lily shut her mouth. That sentence was never going to end up anywhere good.

James's curiosity was peaked though. There was a glint in his eyes. "Hard to what, Lily?"

 _Hard to remember that I'm not supposed to_ like _you._ Lily crossed her arms over her chest. She had to get her shit together. "Just forget it."

She turned away from him but James set a hand on her arm to stop her. "Okay, now you have to tell me. I want to know if something I'm doing or saying bothers you or makes you uncomfortable."

Ugh. Lily missed the times when she thought he was a senseless jerk. She looked at James for a moment. He seemed genuinely concerned over this. "It's just... when you say things like that... not just about skating but about me in general, I wonder if maybe you..." she shook her head. "It's stupid really... just forget I said anything."

A look of understanding dawned on James's face. Lily didn't trust the small knowing smile on his lips. "You wonder if I might still have feelings for you, from all those times I asked you out when we were fifteen."

Lily wasn't even sure if that was what she'd meant to say when she started talking, but she might just let this play out if it meant she didn't have to talk about _her_ feelings. God, it sounded so silly coming out of his mouth. Yes, he'd pursued her when they were fifteen but that seemed light years ago. So much had happened since then. It felt like they were both different people.

After Lily stayed quiet, James took a deep breath and spoke again. "Well... to answer your question. Yes, Lily, of course I still like you, how could I not? But I know you don't feel the same way and I one hundred per cent respect that, so for the sake of our partnership and our friendship, I have squashed those feelings for a while now and I am willing to continue to do so until they're gone. You have absolutely nothing to worry about."

Lily's heart was drumming in her ears so hard, she was sure James could hear it. The resigned tone his voice had taken at the end made her want to scream 'No! Don't squash your feelings! I feel the same way!' But she didn't.

His words made her remember something he'd said back in November on a cab ride in Estonia. 'Oh, no, Lily. I've done my fair share of asking. If you want to go out with me, _you'll_ have to ask me.'

A voice in her ear whispered, _Tell him how you feel! Then you can be together and things will be great!_

But then another voice in her other ear whispered, _Do not fuck this up for us, Lily! If you date and end up breaking up, and ultimately end your partnership, there is no way your career will recover! A relationship with a boy you hated not six months ago will_ not _end well. You wanted to be the best ice dancer in the world, you wanted Olympic glory, that means no dating this boy!_

And she hated herself for it but she nodded once firmly. A mask of blankness had fallen over James's face and she immediately missed his easy smile.

James started skating forward and it was clear the subject was being dropped.

They skated in silence for a few minutes. Lily thought it might be awkward after their conversation but it surprisingly wasn't. James was pensive — which was unusual — but Lily wouldn't qualify this as awkward.

James rolled his shoulders and cleared his throat. He wasn't quite smiling but he didn't look so serious anymore. "Want to run through some of the exh?"

They'd just finished their exhibition program the previous day and Lily was definitely itching to practice it again. "Okay, but no lifts, Minerva would kill us if she found out."

"Of course, no lifts."

Lily reached for James's hand. "We don't have the music though."

"I'll mark the rhythm."

Lily wasn't sure that would work but she nodded, taking centre ice with James. The few people around the rink all remained skating along the boards, so they had some space.

A first James hummed the song, but then he started singing softly. He had a nice voice, Lily had no idea what the song said, as it was fully in Spanish, but she still felt her heart clench. Her stomach lurched downright aggressively as James wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her hard against him. Only to let her go again, spinning her around. Lily felt so warm in her jumper, she thought she might not survive through the entire program.

Skipping the lifts at least provided her with a few seconds to gather herself when they paused. But then James's hands were on her again and her brain turned to mush and all she could think was, _James hands soft and warm and strong_.

Lily was grateful when they reached their ending pose. James with one arm around her waist and a hand on her outer thigh, raising her leg a little up his waist, Lily's torso bent outwards to face their non-existent audience.

She turned back to look at James, his cheeks were flushed and he was breathing a little heavily, as was she. His hand still on her thigh. Their faces had inadvertently ended up within inches of one another. James glanced down at her lips so quickly she would've missed it if she hadn't been staring into his eyes like a fool. It made her hold her breath.

James bent down slightly and Lily almost gasped but he only met his forehead with hers, their noses narrowly touching. She felt her breath mixing with his.

Then she jumped away from him, startled by a very annoying vibration in her back pocket. She skated backwards slightly and took her phone out, noticing now that more than a few people were staring at them. She cleared her throat, trying to get out of whatever spell had possessed her to almost kiss James.

She frowned at her phone screen. It was Melanie. They never really called each other. "Hey."

"Lily! I have to tell you something very important. Where are you?" Melanie's tone was earnest.

"Um, I'm at the rink actually, with James."

"Oh, that's good. Put me on speaker, he should hear this too."

Lily really didn't want to have to turn to look at James's face but she did. His face was still slightly flushed but his expression was neutral, which Lily didn't know what to make of. She skated over to one side of the rink so they could have a semblance of privacy and put her phone on speaker. "It's Melanie, she says she needs to tell us something important," she said to James.

Melanie wasted no time. "Okay, you know how Sirius's brother is in Horace's group? Well, Sirius talked to him today briefly and the kid let it slip that... Narcissa and Evan are going to withdraw from Worlds."

A tiny gasp escaped Lily. _What?_ "H-how? Why?"

"I don't know, but while you guys were in Germany last week, they were having these terrible arguments and then all of a sudden they left to work with a coach in France this week? There's definitely something going on. Maybe they're injured."

"Are you sure about this, Melanie?" James asked.

"Yes, I had Sirius ask around a bit and apparently they've already told NISA they're withdrawing and it'll be formally announced no later than tomorrow morning."

Lily had so many emotions going through her, she didn't even know what to say.

"You know what this means though, Lily?" Melanie ventured in a worried tone. "The first alternates are going to replace them."

It had actually dawned on Lily the second Melanie had said Narcissa and Evan were withdrawing, but she didn't even want to let the thought enter her mind because it made her want to actually hurl.

But she very much realised what this meant.

The little dickwad was getting what he'd wanted all along after all. It didn't matter that he'd almost certainly sabotaged them in Poland, and caused James to get injured or that he was quite obviously buying his scores. None of it. _John's smug ass was going to Worlds._


	18. Junior Worlds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, I actually low-key work for ice-dance dot com, who are mentioned in this chapter, and we don't really do video interviews but for the sake of this story, we will ! If my boss is reading this, please don't, that would be super embarrassing for me😭😭😭. The journalist from the site is definitely fictional tho.  
> And I never said this, but I'm actually kind of nervous about this one, I really really hope you all like it :))

"You _cannot_ get married to that man, Petunia!"

Lily hadn't had a yelling match like this with her sister in a while.

They stood in the living room, facing each other while their mum sat on the sofa looking absolutely done with them.

"Well, you can't tell me what to do, Lily!"

"He's an ass, Petunia. Not to mention a bigot and kind of sexist! You really want to get married to a man like that?"

Petunia scoffed. "Just because he has conservative values doesn't mean he's a bigot! You're just jealous I found someone and I'm making a life for myself outside of that stupid sport!"

Lily was fuming at this point. "Petunia. I have always supported you making a life outside of the sport because that's what you wanted but is marriage really the way to do it, I mean, you're twenty years old, what are you, a child bride?"

Petunia's eyes rolled so far back to the back of her head, Lily thought they'd get stuck that way. "Oh, I _knew_ it! I knew it all along! You wanted me to get out of skating but now I'm not allowed to do anything you might not approve of!"

"I did _not_ say that, Petunia! And that is not what's happening here." Lily turned to her mother, hoping for some interference. "Mum! Are you seriously going to let her do this? Aren't you the one who's supposed to say she's going to ruin her life getting married to some rando at this age?"

Mrs Evans sighed deeply. She stood. "Of course I wish she would wait a little longer to get married because you're both still babies in my eyes, but I can't stop your sister from making her own decisions." She moved away from them. "Now, I need to make myself a cuppa, you girls are giving me a headache."

Lily felt slightly guilty as her mum went into the kitchen. But she just couldn't stay quiet about this. It seemed to her as if her sister was going down a road she couldn't come back from.

Petunia was currently looking smug as shit. "I'm getting married, Lily. Whether you like it or not. And I am finally getting out of this house."

That stung a little, admittedly. Lily pinched the bridge of her nose, ready for this argument to be over, it was getting late and she was leaving for Hungary early tomorrow morning. "You know, Petunia, I only want —"

The words died in her throat as a loud crash came from the kitchen, followed by a heavy thud.

Lily ran to the kitchen to find her mother sprawled out on the floor, clearly unconscious, the tea kettle beside her. Lily dropped to her knees and shook her mum's shoulders gently. "Mum? Mum?" She bent down to check if she could feel her breath. She could, if faintly. "Petunia, dial 999!"

Petunia had entered the kitchen now. The horror-stricken look on her face was the most emotion Lily had seen her sister show in a while.

With shaky hands, Petunia dug her phone out of her pocket and dialled.

Lily was holding back tears. "Mum, please please wake up." She had no clue how to do any sort of first aid. She just cradled her mother's head on her lap and prayed to whoever could hear.

* * *

The next twenty-four hours happened very quickly.

Lily's mother had been fine. Well, not _fine_ , it turned out her blood pressure had been dangerously low, which had led to her feeling weak and then having a dizzy spell and passing out. She was going to have to take some medicine for it and get testing done. She'd also gotten a bad bruise on her hip from falling on it. But, ultimately, she was okay. Back to her normal self by the next morning.

Obviously though, Lily had been reluctant to leave for her early Monday morning flight. Her mum had spent the night at the hospital for observation, and the woman had actually tried to get Mr Evans to drive Lily to the airport when she'd woken up in the morning.

But Lily had already called James to tell him what happened. Just hearing his voice had made her feel a lot better. He'd wanted to go to the hospital right away and was fully willing to withdraw from the competition, but after talking to her parents and to Minerva, they'd decided she'd still go, she'd just get there a little late.

Lily spent the entirety of Monday looking after her mum after being discharged from the hospital in the morning. Mrs Evans did not want to be looked after though. They'd at least gotten her to take it easy for the day.

Lily and Petunia had also called an unspoken truce. They also knew that their father would be on their necks if they did anything to even remotely stress their mum out.

Lily was in Hungary by Tuesday morning. She did feel bad, leaving her mum for a week after what happened but she'd gotten some comfort in seeing that she had seemed completely fine for the past day. But there had been no way her mum was letting her not come, either way.

Lily had only missed the first day of official practices and arrived with two days to spare from their event.

She didn't see James until she got to the rink. Minerva had told him to wait there until Lily arrived.

Lily went out into the main area of the rink and finished taping up her skates. There were five couples on the ice. Plus James by himself. Lily smiled as she noticed Mary and Thomas on the ice. She waved at them. Mary grinned in return and waved excitedly.

James stepped out of the ice and walked towards Lily. She stood up.

He looked her up and down as if making sure she was still whole. "Hey, you okay?"

Lily nodded with a small smile.

"And your mum...?"

"Alright. It was just kind of scary, for me mostly," Lily admitted.

"Yeah, I'd imagine." He set a hand on her arm. "I'm here if you need absolutely anything, you know that, right? However you might feel... today or throughout the week, I understand. I just want you to be okay and comfortable and happy, everything else comes second."

Lily suddenly felt like she might cry. Ugh, she was so pathetic. She threw her arms around James's neck in a hug and took a deep breath. Why did he have to be so caring and thoughtful and amazing — it, it wasn't fair. To her heart. To make her feel this way. He rubbed her back comfortingly and she buried her forehead in the crook of his neck. _This_ wasn't fair either. How safe she felt in his arms, how cared for. How right it felt. How her heart expanded more than she'd ever thought to be humanly possible. "I —" But she didn't say it. She couldn't. But she hoped he knew.

She pulled away from him, finally. "We should go practice."

It seemed ridiculous how much she'd missed James. She only hadn't seen him for two days, but it seemed like a lot longer. She'd been stressed and worried during those two days. First with Petunia's marriage news, then with her mum. But on the ice now, in James's arms, she felt... lighter. Like she knew things would be alright. Like he made everything better. God, she was turning into a sap.

They only had a couple of minutes to warm up before their music started playing. It almost caught Lily off guard. She hadn't even fully recovered from her little moment with James and she was expected to skate a full Starlight Waltz just like that?

She did it though. She didn't want Minerva to think something was wrong.

Halfway through the dance, Lily noticed James getting that look in his eyes he sometimes got. It didn't freak her out as it once had, but it definitely made her _feel things_.

Suddenly, without warning, James's words from not even a week ago rang in her ears. _Of course I still like you, how could I not?_

He looked at her with those intense hazel eyes filled with such... passion, such feeling, as he dipped her slowly for their ending pose, and he _must_ have realised by now what he did to her when he looked at her that way.

Therefore, Lily was not responsible for her following actions.

Having James's face in such proximity to hers had obviously been a dangerous move all along. Lily had no idea how she'd been able to hold herself back all these months doing this same bit of choreography time and time again. She was sure James's face had gotten closer than what it usually did though. And he couldn't just _do that_! What the fuck! It ended up placing his lips in an extremely close distance to hers. Those five inches seemed to be taunting her! And so, without thinking, Lily lifted her head slightly and placed a kiss on James's lips.

She had no idea a kiss so soft could be so... Earth-shattering. It was chaste, as far as kisses went, but there was something intimate and even sultry about the way James's lips brushed against hers, returning the same soft kiss.

It lasted only a few seconds. Lily was afraid her legs might not hold her up once James let go of her but she managed. Being out of his embrace sadly also meant that Lily remembered that they were very much not alone on the ice. The rest of the teams on the ice seemed to not have been paying attention to them, only Mary and Thomas had seemed to have noticed something had happened. Mary was grinning like a madwoman.

Lily looked over to Minerva. She did not seem pleased. Lily didn't want to go over to her, but it seemed like that was where James was leading her.

Lily didn't even touch James as they skated over to the boards. She needed to get herself in check. But she feared the warmth in her stomach wouldn't go away if James was still in the room.

"Minerva, I'm so sorry, that was – we didn't..." Lily started saying as soon as they reached the boards.

Minerva held up a hand. "We'll discuss your unprofessionalism later. Now we're going to have to act as if that is now part of your choreography. Although Lord knows I would never choreograph something so tacky."

Lily blushed. "Surely no one really noticed though."

Minerva lowered her voice. "Well, the photographers definitely noticed."

Lily followed Minerva's gaze to see the four people poised with cameras at the short end of the rink. Fuck. She'd forgotten there would be photographers during practice. The other competitions they'd attended that season had been much smaller events and even though there had been photographers, there hadn't been any in the practices. God, she was so stupid.

She had no idea what had possessed her to do that. And James's silence wasn't doing wonders for her nerves.

Her dumb brain was stuck on one thing now though. She'd get to kiss James every time they skated their short dance.

* * *

Lily found that she quite enjoyed kissing James. Like, really, really enjoyed it. She wished they had run through the entire program more than twice before the Short Dance event but she wasn't about to suggest another run-thru.

Mary had gotten the few pictures of the kiss incredibly quickly, which had resulted in their girls group chat pretty much exploding. Lily firmly stuck to the story that it had been added to the choreography last minute. None of her friends believed her.

James had tried to talk to her about it later that day, but Lily had very quickly changed the subject, and he hadn't tried again. Lily felt bad. He was obviously confused by her actions, but she didn't have a very good explanation as to why she'd done it. It had been an amalgamation of things. She just _had_ to, at that moment.

Lily wasn't usually much for public displays of affection, so at first, the idea of kissing at the end of the program had freaked her out (her desire to kiss James again won out though), but the World Junior Figure Skating Championships in Debrecen, Hungary weren't exactly the most well-attended event in the world. Especially not the ice dance event during the fourth group out of eight. So, only about fifty people or so were in the audience when they went out for their short dance.

It was perfect. Lily was absolutely over the moon. They were in second place, and for a pattern they had barely practiced for a month or so, that was pretty damn good.

She called her Mum at least twice a day and things seemed to be okay at home, Mrs Evans was incredibly happy for Lily and that made Lily happy in return.

The day of the free dance, Lily tried not to think about what medalling — or better yet, winning — here meant for her. It would be her first major championship medal, it would raise their (currently very low) world standing significantly, it would give them a name. They'd be a team to watch out for, that people knew.

Lily wrapped her arms around James as they waited for their turn to skate. They were going last, which had its advantages and its disadvantages. They had to wait the longest after warming up, over thirty minutes, and the ice would be at its most skated on condition on their turn. But it also wasn't unusual for the judges to start dishing out more and more points towards the end. Because the very best were supposed to skate last. And it was the moment in the evening when they were most willing to give out high marks.

Plus, Lily liked being able to know the final results just as she finished skating, not having to wait around for other people to skate and see if they beat your score.

James rubbed Lily's arm. "We can do this, kiddo. I believe in you."

Lily smiled. "I believe in you too."

"Let's go show them."

The moment the music started and James pulled her into his arms, Lily stopped thinking about the title, about how unbelievable it would be to win a junior world title on their first season together, about how good of an omen it would be for their future career together. In that moment it was just the two of them, together against the world.

It was pretty good. That was the only thing Lily could think of as their dance came to an end and they got off the ice. She felt fairly confident that it was enough but she didn't want to jinx it. It had been good, but she couldn't know for sure just yet. James took her hand as they headed to the Kiss & Cry. Lily was grateful.

It felt like James's hand was the only thing anchoring her to reality as the replays played on the little screen. Lily always found small mistakes when she watched the slo-mo replays of her performances and she genuinely tried to stop but she couldn't look away from the screen.

_Fuck_ , she had totally hopped the rocker on their Diagonal Step Sequence, _how could she let that happen?_

Lily intertwined her fingers with James's and squeezed his hand. With her other hand she had a death grip on a unicorn plushie someone had thrown on the ice.

Oh God, they'd gotten too far apart on their second set of twizzles, they might as well just get minus threes across the board.

The replays were suddenly gone and now the screen showed her, James and Minerva live. Lily looked up to the camera that was recording them and waved. Gosh, she looked constipated. She averted her eyes.

James also waved and quickly said something in Spanish. Probably saying hello to his little cousins in Chile.

"Lily Evans and James Potter of Great Britain have earned in the free dance... ninety-nine point seventy points, which is a new season's best. Their total competition score is of... one hundred and sixty-seven point twelve points and they are currently in... first place."

Lily's breath caught in her throat. She brought a hand up to her mouth in shock. Her heart was beating too fast. _What?_ "Oh my god," she said in a small voice. She looked at James with stars in her eyes. He was grinning at her.

He pulled her into his arms in the tightest hug and kissed the top of her head. "We did it, kiddo."

Lily felt tears stinging at her eyes. James let go of her and pulled her to her feet so that they could wave at the audience.

Lily fanned her eyes with her hand so her tears would dry and her mascara wouldn't run. God, she needed to control herself.

James ran a thumb through her cheek. "Don't do that to me, Lily. If you cry, I'll cry."

Lily laughed. A tear finally made its way down her cheek. James kissed her forehead and then her cheek. He pulled her back into a hug and Lily felt like she was on top of the world.

The rest of the night had passed in a flash. The medal ceremony had also been an extremely emotional affair for Lily. She had dreamed of getting an ISU championship medal for so long, with the blue, green and white striped ribbon and the lone feather on its shiny surface.

Then she'd had a long phone call with her mum, and James's parents had insisted on taking them out for dinner in Debrecen, which had been nice.

Lily had been right. People had definitely started noticing them after their win. She'd gotten an influx of very nice messages on social media and she had now talked to the media more times than what she had in her entire career.

The only sit-down interview they had time for was taking place in the morning, right before the gala rehearsal. In a private room in their hotel.

Lily's hands were cold. She sat straight on her chair next to James as the very nice journalist from ice-dance dot com sat across from them. A camera set up to record them.

As they started talking, Lily started relaxing as they spoke about their skating journey and the experience of getting choreography from Marina Zoueva

"So, you only teamed up this season, but you knew each other before, right?"

Lily tugged at her hair. "Yeah, since we were around eleven when we both started skating with Minerva's group."

"Funnily enough, I actually used to have a bit of a crush on her when we were twelve or thirteen," James said in an amused tone.

Anne, the interviewer, raised her brows in surprise. "Really?"

"Yeah, I actually wrote her a very cheesy valentine card once."

"Did she accept it?"

"She didn't." James mock-pouted.

"Aw."

"Yeah, I think I was just scared," Lily said with a laugh. She had no idea where she was pulling out this joke-y tone from because she was mortified on the inside.

"Hey, and now you get to kiss her on your Short Dance!" Anne said.

James smiled. "Thirteen-year-old me would be so proud."

"Funny coincidence there."

"Yup."

The subject was thankfully changed then, letting Lily take a breath.

"Despite being such a young new team, you have achieved some truly impressive results already. What routine do you follow?"

James sat up straighter. "Well, Lily is easily the most hard-working person I have ever met. She's the one who inspires me to strive for greatness and train not only hard but smart. She's truly the reason for the success we've had."

Lily had never willed her skin to remain its regular colour as much as at that moment. _You will_ not _blush at things James Potter says on camera, Evans, YOU WILL NOT!_ "I think he deserves some credit too. He lifts me up every day, both literally and figuratively."

Anne laughed and Lily felt validated. "What do you like most about skating with each other?"

James quickly took the lead in answering. Lily felt herself tense up slightly. "Lily's dedication to her craft makes me want to be better. She's a skater that... you can tell she's passionate about what she does every time she steps on the ice, the way that she lays it all out on the ice, the moments that she creates, the way that she emotes with all she has... you can't help but attempt to match her energy. I've always loved skating... but since I started skating with her, that love has been reinvigorated to levels I didn't even think were possible. I am eternally grateful she gave me a chance to be her partner."

Lily took a breath. _Here goes nothing._ "I don't think that I understood what a partner should be until James came around because he embodies it. Both on and off the ice, he always seeks to make my life easier, to lighten my load, he'll always do whatever he can to make sure I'm okay, and happy. And I try to do the same. And that, as a result, makes doing our job – skating – a lot easier. I think that aspect about him for me, has been key in our partnership because I stress very easily, but he can manage to help me stay calm and he keeps me grounded. I think... a lot of people approach skating partnerships very methodically, as an 'I'll pull my weight, you pull yours' situation, and I'll admit I used to kind of see it like that too. But with James, I've learned that a partnership works best when you both care and you both help each other. He's always there when I need him, and he's someone I can completely rely on for anything. Because he's just that kind of person... for everyone. He's the person who will... look after your pet when you're away, or help you move, or go out of his way to make your day a little better. I think... I think that everyone should have a James."

Anne seemed a little thrown, in a positive way.

Lily scolded herself. She'd said way too much. She didn't even fucking remember what the question had been in the first place. God, she was never opening her mouth again.

The interview moved on to Worlds and their hopes for it and Lily tried not to look at James the entire time.

James nudged her on the arm once it was over and the camera and microphones were off. "That was a nice thing you said."

Lily wanted to melt into the Earth. "Don't get too used to it."

James smiled and Lily's stomach lurched at the brightness of it. "Well, if it's worth anything, I think everyone should have a Lily."

Lily rolled her eyes playfully.

* * *

([what if we kissed during the junior worlds short dance? haha just kidding... unless....?](https://youtu.be/JfZmHRusYxs))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STEPBUK AND SBIES I'M SORRY I HAD MINERVA SAY THE KISS CHOREO IS TACKY, IT ISN'T TACKY WHEN S/B DO IT, THEY'RE UNIVERSALLY ALLOWED TO BE SLUTTY ON THE ICE. The video I linked at the end is s/b's moulin rouge sd, which is nothing like Lily and James's but the ending should sure give u a visual of that sd ending.  
> Also, we're going to Worlds next chapter and after that, this story will pretty much be over :(((


	19. Even If It Makes Me Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was watching the movie Last Christmas (2019) the other day and I noticed that the rink they skate at during the,, well, skating scene is actually the Alexandra Palace rink !! Which makes sense, because it's seriously one of the prettiest indoor rinks I've ever seen, and no lie, that's the main reason why I chose it as Lily and James's training base (I'm also very confused as to why Henry Golding wears hockey skates in the scene, like, okay ???). I linked the scene if you want to watch it.
> 
> Another note: The title of this chapter is a lyric from Paper Rings by Taylor Swift, it's from a verse that inspired a bit of this chapter, and you should really really listen to it. Preferably after you read this chapter.

([clip](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iZSasqurA4))

* * *

There were exactly six days between the end of Junior Worlds and the day Lily and James had to leave for senior Worlds. So, there wasn't much time to do anything but practice, practice, practice. No time to ponder on other things. Such as that kiss. Which Minerva had ended up deciding they should take out of the program, so really there was no use giving it too much thought. Or so Lily thought.

Before she could take a breath, Lily was on a plane heading towards America. She felt the thrum of excitement almost as soon as she entered the hotel in Boston. Loads of people from all over the world were arriving at the same time as them. Lily had never attended an event this big, with so many big names. She had met some top skaters before, but she definitely saw a few faces she admired but hadn't had the pleasure to meet yet. She briefly wondered if she'd get to meet Tessa and Scott, they were supposed to be around to do some commentating, but Lily didn't want to get her hopes up.

It was almost funny to Lily to think about how different things were at the moment compared to a year ago. She still remembered James's birthday a year ago. Sirius had made a fuss about it at the rink, there had been cake and she'd thought James had been especially annoying that day. She was sure she hadn't even wished him a happy birthday. Now, she had spent almost a month stressing over what to get him. She tended to be kind of bad at presents. She mostly gave people books or jewellery if they were women. She wanted to give James something more special though. And she'd been quite pleased with what she'd come up with. She just hoped he liked it. And she hoped she could find a moment alone with him so he could give it to him because there was no way she was doing it publicly.

They actually had gotten a moment alone on the Sunday afternoon after they arrived and settled in. James's mum had insisted that they go out and be touristy around Boston for a while, which Lily had assumed at first meant they should go out with Sirius and their friends who were also there, but Mrs Potter had called an Uber for them before they could even think about going to get anyone else from their rooms.

Lily hadn't brought James's present. It wasn't small enough to fit in her small crossbody bag and she hardly thought it was practical to just walk around with it. So, she'd wait. She hadn't exactly had time to research any Boston must-sees, but Mrs Potter had just sent them to the general downtown area.

They got off the Uber at a small park.

"Where should we go?" Lily asked.

James looked around. "I... I don't know. It's Sunday afternoon, I think everything's closed."

"Maybe we can just walk."

James nodded and motioned for her to go ahead.

They walked in silence and Lily felt that nagging bit of tension that had been hanging over them since Junior Worlds. It wasn't such an obvious thing, she guessed most people hadn't even noticed it, but she very much had. It wasn't like they weren't still friendly or like they'd reverted back to how they used to be at the beginning. It was just this odd veil of politeness that had started coming from James, and Lily had had no idea what to do except follow suit.

She had guessed this treatment had to do with her refusal to talk about the incident during that practice day at Junior Worlds. And Lily knew that he was right to be thrown off by it and that they should talk about it, and she had thought maybe after Junior Worlds was over, she'd be calm enough to have that conversation, but those six days of preparation for Worlds had been so full, she just hadn't done it. And now they were finally in Boston and she had no idea what to say.

A large stained glass window caught Lily's eye. "That's nice." She nodded towards it.

James stopped and looked. "Want to go inside?"

"Of the church?"

"Well, yeah."

Lily frowned. "Is that... is that allowed?"

James seemed confused by her question. "Of course it's allowed."

Lily felt like you shouldn't be able to just walk into a place that beautiful. "I don't know... I've gone to church like... twice in my life when I was little."

James started walking towards it. "Well, come on."

Lily followed him across the threshold. The large double doors were wide open, so she supposed they _were_ allowed in.

It was so quiet inside. She felt like she'd disturb the piece if she even moved an inch.

James very quickly crossed himself and to say Lily was stunned would be an understatement. Was he religious? Why did she not know about this? She tried to hide her shock. She'd ask later, there was no way she was speaking up now, they were in a _church_.

Lily took a second to take the inside in. It was more colourful than she thought a church could be. There were shades of dark red and blue on the walls. With patterns painted all over that should've been a little much but somehow weren't. There were more windows like the one she'd spotted before on the walls. She realised now that the windows had images of saints (she guessed) on them.

James walked further inside, alongside a wall. Lily felt slightly nervous about going more than a few steps inside but he didn't seem too worried. There wasn't a mass taking place, only a few people sat on the pews and others knelt in prayer. A few more tourists walked along the sides. She followed James.

They examined the windows and the paintings in silence. Lily had no idea who any of the people represented were, but it was all very pretty.

More people started coming in and sitting down on the pews and Lily assumed there would be a service soon.

"We should go," he didn't whisper, but he spoke in a very low voice that Lily felt all the way to her bones.

She nodded and they moved outside, where the noise seemed to find its life again.

They continued walking until they reached another park, this one a lot bigger than the one they'd been dropped off at.

"Hold on, I've got to take a picture of this for my grandma."

Lily looked in the direction James was walking to see a plaque a little shorter than her own height. A bust of the pope was etched onto the stone with his name beneath it. Then it read something about his first visit to the United States below. What an eye-opening day this was turning out to be.

James snapped a quick picture of it.

"Do you want me to take your picture?" Lily asked.

"Sure," he handed her his phone.

Lily wished he hadn't. She could've easily used her own phone and sneakily added the picture to her growing collection of pictures of James she had no business having on her phone.

She snapped the picture of James giving a thumbs up and smiling too widely next to the pope and handed back his phone.

"I didn't know you were... religious," Lily said.

James shrugged. "I'm not _super_ religious. But my grandmother is extremely religious, and my mother is religious enough to take us to church every other Sunday."

Lily nodded.

"I mostly do it because of my grandma. Religion means a lot to her, and I don't really mind it. It makes her happy... and I find it kind of comforting, mostly because I associate most religious things with her. I don't get to see her very often, and... religion, it makes me feel connected to her. It also makes me feel connected to my paternal grandmother who passed when I was younger, so it's a win-win for me, honestly."

Lily groaned internally. What was the point of telling her this? _Did he really_ need _to make her love him even more?_

Lily's brain short-circuited.

She knew she hadn't just thought of that word in relation to James Potter. Sure, she did fancy him quite a bit. But she did _not_ love him. No. No way.

Except that she did a little bit.

Her palms felt clammy. Her heart was beating way too fast.

James frowned. "Are you okay?"

Her head snapped towards him. She was sure he could read the distress in her face. She waved it off. "Fine, I'm fine... that's a really nice thing you said about your grandmothers."

Lily was extremely grateful when James's cellphone rang and he looked at the screen. "Oh shoot. Speak of the devil... it's my grandma, she probably wants to wish me a happy birthday. I'm going to walk over to a less busy area because this is about to get real shouty."

Lily nodded and James started walking further into the park, finally picking up the call.

He was right. Lily started doubting he was actually talking to his grandmother because he was practically yelling into the phone. She had no idea what he was actually saying though. It was all in Spanish. The few laughs he let out reassured her he wasn't actually fighting with his grandmother.

Lily took the time James was distracted to gather herself. She had no time to deal with... feelings at the moment. Once their season was over... _maybe_. But right now she had to focus on Worlds. Their first Worlds. Two years before the Olympics. They _had_ to do well. And there was no way she was letting _anything_ distract her right now.

* * *

There was a bit of a surprise awaiting them when they got back to the hotel.

Mrs Potter had gathered pretty much everyone who was even remotely friendly with James at the event and set up a small dinner party in the hotel restaurant, full with balloons and a banner and a very nice cake. Lily had no idea how the woman had pulled that off having arrived in Boston just that morning.

Lily sat with Melanie and avoided even looking in James's direction all through dinner (okay, she couldn't help but look a few times). She was glad he seemed to be having a good time. He and Sirius were bursting out in laughter every five seconds. Sirius complained more than once about the fact that James had just happened to be in a country where he couldn't drink until twenty-one on his eighteenth birthday.

"Are you okay?" Melanie whispered to Lily at a point during dinner. "You keep looking at James with this very angsty look on your face like he's dying tomorrow or something."

Had she really? Lily tried to relax her features and deliberately not look at James. "Fine."

"Did something happen on your... walk with James?" Melanie asked.

"No, nothing. I was just... thinking about something. Maybe I'll tell you later." _Technically_ nothing had happened.

They were sent to their rooms a bit after nine. They were all having early mornings, with the first official practices the next day. Lily knew that James and Sirius and the guys would probably stay up for longer, she wanted to tell them not to drink because she would be incredibly mad if James showed up with a hangover in the morning. But she didn't say anything; she trusted James.

Instead, she asked James to stop by her room before going off with Sirius. Before anyone else went up.

"I won't take long, I just wanted to give you your present," Lily said as she let James into the room.

"You didn't have to get me anything, Lily."

Lily smiled as she dug out her carefully wrapped present and handed it to James. "Here, open it."

James sat on the edge of Lily's bed as he ripped off the paper. "It's a scrapbook?"

Lily sat beside him. "I... I like doing things like this, you know, crafts. And I didn't exactly have much of a budget, so I thought it'd be nice to do this to document our first season together."

The cover was red, big golden letters read _Evans & Potter 2015-2016 season_.

James opened it.

The immediate first heading read _September_. Then there was a picture of them, from one of the first days they'd trained together. Minerva had forced them to take that picture for the British federation so that they could announce their partnership. Lily had been still quite tense around James and her fake smile looked more like a grimace. Then there was a picture of them in Michigan with Marina.

In the next month, James pointed to a picture from when they had made flower crowns with Alena. "Where'd you get this one? I'd never seen it before."

"The instructor uploaded it to the Garden socials."

James nodded. "I like it."

Lily figured that was a sort of man-code for ' _oh my god, I look cute as hell here, sent me that pic right now_ '. So she did.

There was a group selfie Mary had taken at the boats on the Palace lake. Then, their first medal together, at Sectionals. The Halloween picture when their costumes accidentally matched.

Then their first international competition together in Estonia, including a picture with their American friends, the Simms. British Nationals.

The first pictures where Lily genuinely started looking completely at ease with James were the ones from their last-minute performance at the Christmas showcase.

"Hey, whatever happened to that guy you invited to the showcase?" James asked as he looked at the photos.

Lily had a feeling he knew exactly what happened. Still, she decided to humour him. "He was jealous of you, and my plan to show him there was nothing to worry about backfired."

Lily's honest answer clearly threw James off, but he quickly recovered. He raised a brow. "Oh, yeah? What was the plan?"

Lily sighed. "That he would see us skate together and quickly realise there was _no way_ anything was going on between us." She had no idea where this flirty, playful tone was coming from.

A slight smirk from James. "But it backfired?"

Lily shrugged. "You know how non-skaters can be about this stuff. It backfired."

James nodded and turned back to the book.

There was exactly one picture from the MNNT Cup in Poland because Lily would rather forget most of the events that took place there. But she did want to remember their first international gold together, as cursed as it might have been.

It ended with Junior Worlds, which took up a pretty large section. James stared at the last page until Lily started getting nervous and stood up so she could pace a little. "I thought after we get home I could make the pages for Worlds and you could add them at the end," she said in one breath.

James closed the book and looked at her with a smile. He stood and took Lily's hand so she would stop moving. "This is beyond amazing, Lily. Thank you so much."

Then he hugged her. Lily relaxed against him. She wished they could stay like this forever.

* * *

After retiring to bed for the night, the strangest thing happened to Lily. Something that hadn't happened to her since she was a kid probably. She was too excited to sleep.

She was competing on the world stage tomorrow. Well, not _tomorrow_ , but it would all start tomorrow. Her first major senior competition, she was in the big leagues now, that was for sure. She couldn't even remember how long she had been waiting for this moment. Seeing her and James's names on the roster list felt like a dream still.

She laid in bed for about an hour, just attempting to sleep, Melanie having drifted off long ago. Lily started getting frustrated with her brain's refusal to shut down and even though she knew she shouldn't, she grabbed her phone from the nightstand. The screen lit up, and her heart skipped a beat when she saw James's name. He had texted her not twenty minutes earlier. A simple, _u up?_

 _You should be asleep_ , Lily replied.

_I'm assuming that means yes._

Before Lily could reply, there was another text from James. _I'm outside your door._

Lily sat up in bed and frowned at the screen. She put on a jumper over her t-shirt hastily and opened the door. "Are you drunk?"

James frowned. "What? No."

Lily's eyes narrowed. He seemed... happy, but not exactly drunk. "You should get to bed, we have to be up early."

James sighed. "I'll go to bed if you come out with me for a little bit. Come on, I want to enjoy the last hour of my birthday."

Lily was tempted to say yes. "Can't Sirius keep you company?"

He leaned against her doorframe. "He was out at like ten, he hardly slept on the plane here."

Before she could change her mind, she answered. "Okay, but just for ten minutes."

James smiled as if she'd just given him the world and Lily felt like she would melt into a puddle.

She put on her shoes and grabbed her room key.

"Where do you want to go?" She asked once in the hallway.

"I thought we could go sit by the pool."

"Isn't it closed?"

"The pool is, but the chairs beside it aren't."

Lily exhaled. "Okay, then."

They headed to the ground floor in silence. Lily shivered as the outside air hit her. She rubbed her arms up and down, her jumper definitely wasn't thick enough for this weather.

James slipped his jacket off. "Here." He didn't wait for an answer before draping it over Lily's shoulders.

"Thanks."

James stood at the edge of the pool and slipped his shoes off.

"What are you doing?" Lily asked, alarmed.

"Just want to see how cold the water is."

"You can touch it with your _hand_!"

He ignored her and sat, he dipped a foot in and grimaced. "Oh, that's... fucking cold."

"Well, obviously."

He was still in his cheery mood though. He grinned at Lily. "Don't you ever get the compulsion to jump into a pool fully clothed?"

" _James_."

He chuckled, shrugging. "Well, don't you?"

"Not really."

"Sirius always gets the compulsion to throw me in whenever there's a pool."

Lily wasn't sure where he was going with this.

James was still smiling. "But I've always thought if you're going to get into a pool fully clothed, it should be of your own accord. It gives it a certain... daring element."

Lily crossed her arms over her chest. She did not want to humour this but... ugh. "Daring?"

There was a mischievous glint in James's eyes. "It's a good quality... to be daring. Would _you_ dare, Evans?"

He hadn't called her by her last name in months probably. Not since they had become... friendly. This wasn't like when he used to call her that though. Back then, he'd call her Evans when he was being an ass. The way he said it now, it made a shiver run down Lily's spine.

"Would I dare to _what_ , Potter?" She asked in a small voice.

He didn't miss a beat. "Jump into this pool with me."

"We'll get in trouble. Minerva will kill us."

James looked around the pool area. "I don't see anyone here to catch us. Come on. You're the bravest person I know. Surely you're not scared of a little water."

Lily was about to retort when James started moving. He stood and before Lily could even try to do anything, he smoothly dove into the pool. He was underwater for a few seconds before resurfacing, making a big splash. "Ah, _fuck_. It's cold."

Lily threw a hand over her mouth. Was he trying to give her a heart attack? She leaned down by the edge. "Oh my god, James. What the fuck?"

"Come on, Lils! We can be serious and professional tomorrow!" He said a little too loudly.

"Lower your voice!"

James swam towards the centre of the pool, seemingly having the time of his life and Lily sighed. She took her shoes off and dipped a toe in the water. It was fucking freezing.

James was beaming. "Come on, Evans! I dare you to get into this pool, right now."

Lily rolled her eyes. She took a deep breath and held it. And she jumped in.

"Fuck! Oh my god!" The water was freezing. Lily immediately started moving around to try to get less cold. She slowly swam up to James. "I think I'm going to actually freeze to death."

James wrapped his arms around her, trying to pass on some body heat. He laughed louder than Lily's joke warranted. Lily found herself laughing with him. The cold was making her head go funny and she just couldn't help herself.

"Hey!"

Their laughter died as soon as it'd started. A hotel employee stood a few feet from the pool, he held a flashlight. Lily let out a gasp. _Fuck, fuck, fuck._

James reacted quicker than her. He heaved himself out of the water easily, pulling Lily out just as easily. In the blink of an eye, he had grabbed their shoes and ran, Lily's hand in his.

Lily's legs were tense. Both from the biting cold that had hit her the second she was out of the water, but also from the anxiety of being caught.

James slowed down for a second and hoisted Lily over his shoulder before continuing on. That was much quicker.

Lily didn't know how James knew there was another door to enter the hotel from the pool area but he pulled them through it and Lily was grateful to at least be indoors.

"You won't get away with this!" The hotel man yelled after them, but his voice sounded far away and resigned. He probably didn't want to chase two soaked teenagers through the hotel in the middle of the night.

James walked into a room, shutting the door behind them and finally putting Lily down. They looked at each other for a second. Lily barely registering that they were in some sort of supply room with towels and other pool stuff. Then James burst into laughter.

Lily tried to shush him. "He might come around looking for us," she whispered. But she was laughing a little bit too.

He grabbed a towel off a shelf and wrapped it around Lily's shoulders. She sniffled and he rubbed her back over the towel to give her some warmth. He was still laughing.

Lily leaned her head against his chest, not able to contain her laughter anymore. "Oh my god."

"That was very daring of you, Evans," James said as his laughter started dying down.

Lily smiled and looked up at him. "I learned from the _daringest_."

They went quiet as Lily realised how close their faces were to one another. He glanced down at her lips for less than a second. Lily held her breath. He leaned down slightly and their noses were touching. She could feel his warm breath on her lips.

He let his lips whisper over hers. He didn't close the gap though. Lily couldn't stand it anymore. She moved an inch closer and didn't give him the same chaste kiss they'd shared on the ice before. She kissed him like she meant it. She pressed her lips against his hard. He reciprocated immediately. He drew a hand around her waist and squeezed her against his body. Lily let out a small gasp when she felt his tongue. She took another step until James was pressed against the door and they were snogging as if their lives depended on it.

Lily would have gladly stayed in that tiny room all night but James set her hands firmly on her hips and pushed her away. She couldn't help the twinge of disappointment that went through her. She frowned. "What's wrong?"

James took a deep breath and looked away from her. "We can't... we can't keep doing this, Lily."

Lily was confused. "But I thought you still..."

James let out a humourless chuckle. He rubbed his temple. "Yeah, yeah, I still do. Which is why I don't get why you're being so cruel to me, Lily."

Lily's heart dropped. She felt sick. "What?"

He finally looked her in the eyes. "I've had feelings for you for years, Lily. And you've made it very clear that you don't feel the same for me. Do you?"

Lily averted her eyes. She wanted to answer, she really did. But her throat had closed up.

James sighed. "When I said I was trying to get over you, I really meant it. But I can't do that if you keep... being all flirty and randomly kissing me like that whenever you please. Because... as much as I thoroughly enjoy kissing you, it's killing me, Lily. It's killing me to have you so close knowing that you don't feel as I do. So, I'd really just rather... you stop, because the moment your kiss ends, I am reminded again that I can't have you. And it hurts, it really does."

Lily felt her eyes fill with tears. Oh no. Oh, she had never meant for this to happen. "James, I'm... I'm so sorry–"

He shook his head. "No, you don't have to apologise, I just had to tell you that. And as much as it pains me to say this, that was the last time, Lily. Because I can't handle this anymore."

Lily could barely get the words out in a choke. "James, I don't want you to think that I don't care about you or your feelings, because I do–"

James raised a hand to cut her off. "Please. Please just don't say anything, Lily. I _know_ you don't mean to hurt me. But it might actually kill me to have to hear your placations right now." He set a hand on the door handle. "Let's just go to bed."

They walked out in silence. And rode the lift in silence. Lily wanted to say something so bad. ' _I do have feelings for you! But we can't._ ' But she didn't want to make things worse, and she didn't want to hurt his feelings even further. And her head was too scrambled to try to think of what would be the right thing to say right now. She so didn't want to leave things like this though.

 _Lily, you stupid bitch, just think of_ anything _you can say to make things better!_ She scolded herself. But her brain refused to work. And before she knew it, they were at her door.

"You should shower before going to bed, or you'll catch a cold," James said.

Lily's brain was still trying to process what James had said in the supply room, so it took her a second to catch up. But before she could say anything back, James was walking away.

She dug her room key from her pocket and slid it into the slot. She entered the dark room and took a deep breath.

_Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you don't want to go listen to the song I mentioned, here's the verse I was talking about:
> 
> "In the winter, in the icy outdoor pool
> 
> When you jumped in first, I went in too
> 
> I'm with you even if it makes me blue."
> 
> I'm finally done with this hell semester and I am determined to finish this fic before the end of the year, so be prepared.


	20. Wreck My Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for being a swiftie on main but I've been thinking a lot about which songs from evermore remind me of Jily and I'm glad to announce that I am officially claiming 'willow', 'champagne problems', and 'cowboy like me' as Jily songs. I would give my detailed explanation for each of these choices but y'all probably don't want to hear it lmao.
> 
> Also, I just noticed that Lily is such a Slytherin in this story and honestly, I kinda love that for her.

Twenty-four hours after _the incident_ , Lily still felt very conflicted. The first day of official practices had meant that she and James barely had a moment alone. The flurry of activity also kept them from even sparing a thought towards anything but skating.

Lily hated not being able to focus properly during a competition. Her mindset was usually that of a laser focus on her goals. But now she was thinking of not only her own feelings but James's feelings. Ugh.

She could've cornered him after dinner, and she did entertain that idea, but she just hadn't had any time at all to think of what she was going to say to him. She didn't want to make things worse. So she resolved to wait. They still had another day before the Short Dance took place, she could figure something out by then. Yes, of course, she could.

As soon as they retired to their shared hotel room for the night, Melanie sat on the corner of her bed and stared at Lily with a frustrated expression on her face. "So... what the hell happened with you and James last night?"

Lily cursed her pale skin as a deep blush coloured her cheeks. "What? How—"

Melanie held up a hand. "I heard you come in after midnight yesterday and you barely spoke to each other all day today. Not to mention the various angsty glances you threw his way."

"I did not!"

"Stop deflecting and tell me!"

Lily flopped onto the bed next to her friend. "We... hung out for a bit last night... and we might have... kissed."

Melanie let out a small gasp and actually jumped up in her seat. "Finally!" She deflated at seeing Lily's expression. "But...?"

Lily sighed deeply. Then she launched into the explanation of what had happened the previous night, strategically leaving out any mention of her own feelings. "... and now I don't know what to say to him to diffuse this... tension."

Melanie thought for a second. "So... you're trying to find a way to let him down easy?"

Lily glanced away from her friend. "I... not exactly."

Melanie raised a brow. "Oh?"

Lily took a deep breath. She really needed to start being more direct. And there was no time like the now. "I'm in love with him," she confessed. She finally looked Melanie in the eye because she needed her to know how true her feelings were. "Like, _really_ fucking in love with him."

Melanie got a soft look in her eyes. "But... ?"

Lily felt tears stinging at her eyes. God, she was being so pathetic right now. She bit her lip. "But... I can't. I can't because if we get together now and then we break up, our partnership will be over even if we try to make it work. I thought maybe... in a few years when we retire..."

Melanie looked incredulous. "You're eighteen! You mean when you retire in ten years?"

Lily looked down at her hands. "Maybe after we get an Olympic medal... I don't know! All I know is that it is decidedly not a good idea to start a romantic relationship at such a crucial moment of our career!"

Melanie looked like she was bursting to say something but she took a breath first. "Lily... you know I love you, and one of my favourite things about you is how determined and competitive you are. And because you're so talented and so good at what you do, and also happen to have these qualities... you have developed a... pathological need to win." She kept talking when she saw Lily was about to argue. "Which I find to be endearing in you and am not at all judging you for. But you must admit that you are obsessed with winning and you have all these plans in your head of how you want your career to go and I genuinely believe that you _will_ achieve all you want, you _will_ be a World and Olympic champion.

"But I think that the road there won't go exactly as you think it will because you can't control everything. And as your friend, I just really don't want your sheer determination to stop you from living your life. Because you can have both, Lily! You can have James as a boyfriend and as a partner because if you really love him that much, I know you can make it work. If you both love each other, and you want to be together, you will make it work, even if it's hard and you stumble and struggle, you'll make it, and it'll be worth it."

Lily so wished she could believe Melanie. "Well... I don't know if he _loves_ –"

"Lily," Melanie cut her off. "Come on. He loves you."

She felt a blush creep up her cheeks. "I... think I'd have to think about it. All I know is that I really can't promise him anything until we get home. I can't spare _any_ time for this right now."

Melanie smiled. "There's my lovely pathological friend."

Lily's shoulders drooped and she made a face at Melanie.

Melanie set a hand on Lily's arm. "Well... I think you should tell him how you feel about him as soon as possible, even if you're unsure about a relationship at the moment. He should know."

Lily groaned. "But what if it makes him feel worse that I don't want a relationship even though I have feelings for him?"

Melanie sighed dramatically. "I feel like the good feelings will outweigh the bad ones."

Lily laid back on the bed with a deep sigh. This was all such a mess.

* * *

Lily woke up the next day not feeling any more sure of what to do than the previous day. Her talk with Melanie had definitely helped her be calmer and sort her feelings out. But overall, she still had no fucking idea what she was supposed to say to James.

She went through the motions almost on autopilot. All too aware that the time was passing and the Short Dance drew nearer and nearer but the silence between her and James was deafening, and she didn't know how to break it, even if she felt the thread their relationship hung by getting thinner and thinner.

It was Tuesday afternoon before their practice session that Mrs Potter of all people came to find her while she stretched in the small hotel gym, just for something to do.

Mrs Potter's smile was bright as always. "Lily! Hey, there's something you should see in the hotel lobby!"

Lily was slightly confused. "Oh? Right now?"

"Yes! I promise it's worth it. Come on!" She waved Lily over.

Lily got up a little reluctantly but didn't complain. She knew James probably hadn't told his mum of what had gone down between them because if he had, Mrs Potter would surely hate her now.

Lily followed James's mother into the lobby and felt her stomach drop in surprise.

Standing near the front desk were the people she hadn't realised she needed most at the moment. "Mum!" she yelled out.

Mrs Evans turned and smiled brightly at her daughter. Lily ran up to her and hugged the woman. "What are you doing here? Is it even safe for you to... ?"

Mrs Evans waved her off. "Oh, it's completely fine, Lily. We couldn't miss this for the world. The Potters offered to fly us out here and I know you don't like accepting _handouts_ , but we thought it was worth it this time to see our daughter competing at the _World Championships_."

Lily couldn't find it in her heart to complain. She squeezed her mother. "I'm so glad you're here."

Once she had thoroughly hugged both her parents, Lily turned to Mrs Potter. "Thank you so much, Mrs Potter. This means so much to me."

Mrs Potter smiled softly. "As much as I'd like to take credit for this, it was actually James's idea. He insisted on it, in fact."

Lily wasn't quite sure how to feel about that. If anything, it made her feel slightly worse. "Oh."

Her mum patted her arm. "Isn't it almost time for you to go to the rink? You should go get ready."

Lily smiled weakly and confirmed her mother's words.

Mrs Evans accompanied Lily to her floor and Lily was grateful just to be able to hold her mother's hand while she went through this emotional turmoil.

Melanie wasn't in the room when they entered and Mrs Evans thankfully didn't say anything about the mess they had. She took her daughter's hand before she went off to change her clothes. "Lily, I want you to know that your father and I are very proud of you for making it here."

Lily smiled. "I know, Mum."

"But while I know you're very focused on your goals, we also really want you to just have fun. You're in America, with your friends, and with your peers from all over the world, you should stop and look at all the great things you'll take away from here, regardless of what those score sheets will say."

Lily sighed. Melanie's words rang in her ears. She nodded. "Okay, Mum."

* * *

Even though things had been tense between Lily and James for the past two days, they had both been trying their best to act like everything was fine at least during practice. Sure, they weren't talking much in-between practice sessions and weren't joking around during downtime on the ice anymore, but they still performed all of their elements to the best of their abilities and could turn on the performance value for run-throughs of their programs. Until that evening practice.

Lily wasn't entirely sure what had changed. Maybe the fact that it was the last practice before the Short Dance the next morning. Maybe John deciding to do a little repeat of his intimidation tactics in Poland and having many near-crashes with them. Lily had thought she had learned how not to let his tactics affect her, and maybe it was a combination of many factors but she just couldn't handle it this time.

"Are you okay?" James asked with a frown after John and Tala had forced them to abort a lift by skating too fast, way too close to them. James had his hands on Lily's waist as he skated forwards and she backwards. She held onto his arm tightly. James had been very much avoiding touching her when it wasn't necessary, so she very much had to take advantage of moments like this on the ice.

Lily nodded quickly. She dared a glance at John. He was focused on his partner, but there was a slight expression on his face that told Lily he knew exactly what he was doing. It made her rage internally.

She was so tired. This was not how she thought her first Worlds was going to go. Seeing Lily wasn't up for trying that lift again, James led her to Minerva, who stood by the boards. "You sure?"

Lily wished he wouldn't be so nice to her. She felt tears stinging at her eyes. Oh no. She needed to get herself in control. There was no way in hell she was crying right there on the ice, at the very public practice in front of her fellow competitors. She would rather die.

James's frown was deep. He set an arm around her waist and diverted their course to the rink's exit instead of to Minerva. He looked over at their coach and mouthed something but Lily couldn't tell what it was.

She wanted to tell him their practice session wouldn't be over for another twenty minutes and after the rough practice they'd just had, they needed every minute they could get. But she didn't trust her voice to stay steady if she opened her mouth. So, she just let James lead her off the rink, hastily putting their skate guards on.

He walked rather surely through some doors that clearly stated only authorised personnel could go through. But his arm was still around her so she didn't say anything.

They went up a bunch of stairs and finally through a door that led them to the roof of the arena.

Once the chill of the evening air blew on Lily's face, the knot in her throat had subsided. She'd somehow managed not to let the tears fall.

"You shouldn't let John get to you, he's an asshole," James said.

"I know that," her voice came out a little choked. "It's not just him, his shit now was just kind of the last straw for me."

James's shoulders drooped. He looked away from Lily and at the Boston skyline in front of them. "Listen, Lily... I know I've been kind of... distant and I'm sorry, but I just think that's what's best right now until I can–"

Lily put her hands up to stop him. "Stop. Please." She took a deep breath. "There's something I need to tell you and I think I am going to burst if I don't say this to you right now. So please can you just listen to me and know that I have all the best intentions in my heart with what I'm about to say?"

James looked at her with wide questioning eyes. He nodded once.

Lily took a deep breath. She wished she had had the time to put on some shoes because she suddenly felt very unstable standing on her two blades only sheathed by two pieces of bright purple plastic. "When I first agreed to be your partner, I thought that there could only be two ways this was going to go; either I wouldn't be able to stand you and leave the first chance I got, or we'd reach a sort of mutual understanding and have a good professional relationship. I was caught off guard by how great you were to me, you had changed so much from what I was used to. I was glad at how it easy it was to be friends with you because I never thought I would be able to feel so comfortable around you. Like, literally _never_."

"Gee Lil, you really know how to make a guy feel special," James joked.

Lily held in an eye roll. "Will you shut up? I'm trying to make a confession here."

A raised eyebrow. "A confession?"

Lily gave him a look.

He put his hands up. "Right. Go on about how much you hated me back then."

Lily groaned. Maybe she shouldn't actually profess her love to him after all. "What I'm trying to say is that... in all the ways I could picture our partnership going, this had never been in my plans. You _wrecked_ my plans. You came in with a freaking Zamboni and squashed my plans to hell." She took a few steps back, her heart felt like it was about to burst out of her chest. "I wasn't... supposed to fall head over heels for you. And I didn't want to say or do anything if I wasn't sure, but I think I've known for a while now. I knew when we skated that golden waltz that you had absolutely ruined me for other partners, I knew I never wanted to skate with anyone but you. I didn't realise it at the time, but it was because of how much I am... in love with you."

The shock that had passed through James's eyes when she'd said the word 'fall' was finally wearing off. His breath was coming out in small huffs. He opened his mouth to speak but Lily wouldn't let him.

She held a finger up. "I'm not done yet. I am telling you this because it's been eating away at me to think that you think I don't reciprocate your feelings because I'm pretty sure at this point I'm into _you_ way more than you are into me. So, understandably, the very last thing I wanted when I kissed you was to hurt you. The times I've kissed you have been in all honesty because I just couldn't _stand_ not kissing you in those moments. All that being said, and you'll probably hate me for this, but I don't think we should get into a relationship right now. Because I really _really_ want to skate with you for the rest of my career, and I don't think that a relationship would be ideal at this very crucial point of our career. I'm sorry."

James looked crestfallen, but he did a good job of hiding it. "Can I speak now?"

Lily nodded quickly but kind of wished she could just leave this roof and never acknowledge this night again.

James took Lily's hand into his own gingerly. "That was mean of you to tell me you loved me and then not let me say it back immediately, because I love you too, Lily, _so much_. And you can rest assured that you will never be more into me than I am into you, that would simply be impossible."

Lily couldn't help but smile. A million butterflies that had taken flight in her heart after hearing him say he loved her. She felt teary again.

James raised his hand from hers and rested it on her cheek. He looked at her like she was the most wondrous thing he'd ever seen. "I won't lie, it does pain me to know that you don't want a relationship but I understand. I would never expect you to put a guy over your career. Maybe next season, or after we go to the Olympics... I can convince you that we can have both our careers and a relationship, but I get it."

"After the Olympics? In two years? I can't ask you to wait that long."

He smiled. "Lily, I would wait for you as long as it takes. If it takes until we retire, so be it, if it takes longer than that, I don't care."

Lily crossed her arms over her chest. She put her hand over his softly and pulled it from her cheek. "I can't ask you to do that. You should be able to go out with who you want, not just wait around for me. I would hate it if you did that. I want you to be happy."

He still smiled. "I _could_ do that, but I know that you're it for me, Lily. I've known for a while now. I promise I won't close myself off to... opportunity, but I _will_ wait for you, Evans, I don't care what you say."

Lily would never admit it but it made her deliriously happy to hear him say that. "I... I can't promise you anything, James, I just wanted to acknowledge these feelings and if one day, things work out, I want to be with you. But right now I think it's best to set this aside and focus on our skating."

His eyes were sad but he tried to smile still. "If that's what you want, okay."

"It _is_ what I want."

 _Was it tough?_ Lily pushed her doubts aside. This felt like the right thing to do at the moment.

James nodded.

"We should get back. Minerva will be worried," Lily said.

"Before we go... can I kiss you? Just once."

Lily smiled and nodded.

James leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her lips. It wasn't the hurried kiss they'd shared in that closet not forty-eight hours ago. It was slow, like he wanted to savour it. Lily wished she could take this kiss and keep it in her pocket forever. She let out a shaky sigh as he finally pulled away.

This kiss hadn't felt like the ones they'd shared before. Those had been more stolen kisses than anything. This one felt like a promise.


	21. 90s Russian Ice Dance Drama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm not really into having face-claims for my stories but I thought it might be a good idea to pick an ice dance team to sort of be the official stand-in for Jily, I wanted someone around their age and that looked at least kinda like I imagine them, height difference and all. Sadly, there aren't many redheaded girls in ice dance (okay, there's one but I literally hate that team and actively root for them to retire) but I still tried to go for the closest thing. My main reason for doing this was bc I wanted to make a video edit with said team, and I chose Kazakova and Reviya, whom I love. The video is pinned on my twitter @ tchaikovskayas if u want to see it ! I'm also leaving the link here.  
> I also recently made an instagram to share figure skating videos so that I can stop terrorising my irls with fs content, so you can check that out if u want, it's @ tessastwizzles !

([video](https://twitter.com/tchaikovskayas/status/1340421626219778049?s=20))

* * *

"Lily? Lily? Oh my god, I think she's dead, Mellie."

Lily snapped out of her daze and glared at James. She felt red in the face. "I'm _not dead._ "

James grinned. "Sure looked it for a minute. I've sent you the pictures."

Lily rubbed her clammy hands over her jeans and dug her phone out of her pocket.

James led her and Melanie to their seats in the arena where they would be watching the last group of men take the ice. Lily still felt like she was dreaming as James pulled her by the hand.

She, Lily Evans, had just met her idol, her inspiration, her ice dance one and only for the past eight years, Tessa Virtue. Oh, and Scott had been there too.

Lily had almost felt like her heart had stopped when she'd spotted them backstage in the arena. She wasn't usually one to get very starstruck, but she had to admit her brain had stopped working when she'd seen them. She'd been almost too afraid to go over to them. James had had to practically drag her.

In fact, she barely remembered the brief words they had exchanged. She had felt like she'd been hallucinating the entire time. She might have fangirled at Tessa a little too much. But she remembered Tessa had been incredibly nice.

Tessa and Scott had also mentioned watching their short dance, which Lily had thought was a nice sentiment from them but had definitely not believed. Their nice comments about it had almost made her believe that they _had_ seen it though.

It had gone quite well, their short dance that morning. Lily had been so nervous that now, hours later she had almost no recollection of it at all. She only knew it had gone well because she had looked at the protocols afterwards. They had gotten a new personal best score and were currently sitting in ninth place (albeit, not by a lot) going into the free dance. Their goal for Worlds was to place within the top ten so, things were looking good. They only had to hold on to that ninth spot, or better yet, improve it, and Lily would certainly declare Worlds a success. And they were stronger on the free dance, so that seemed like a pretty likely possibility at the moment.

Lily definitely felt more relaxed now than the mess of nerves she had been that morning. She remembered James rubbing her arms and whispering words of encouragement by the boards right before going out on the ice... after that, it was pretty much a blur. Both before and after she had been stuck in her thoughts. She was trying to be more present though. She hadn't made good on her promise to have fun yet. She had thought she'd do it after the Free Dance was over, but James and Melanie had insisted she start now.

So, they were watching the Men's Short Program. Their encounter with Tessa and Scott had delayed them slightly, so when they finally sat down the second guy in the group was already about to start.

She heard James yell out, "¡Vamos Javi!" before the music came on.

Lily sat in silence all through Javier Fernández's program, partly because she was still reeling from meeting Virtue and Moir and partly because Fernández was so captivating when he skated you couldn't help but pay attention to him.

James cheered loudly as the program ended. "He's fucking amazing."

Lily nodded. "That program is great. Pity about the fall though."

James smiled. "The quality of the jumps he _did_ land should absolutely get him a good lead in my opinion. Those were absolutely flawless."

Lily liked his enthusiasm. "I agree. I'm kind of rooting for Yuzuru though."

James's brows raised. "I'd be happy if he won too, but I'm partial to Javier."

The scores were announced and Javier was in first. They watched in silence except for James's occasional commentary about edge quality and transitions into elements.

Finally, it was Yuzuru Hanyu's turn and Lily jumped up in her seat. Her heart raced as the music started and he took his first steps. It was as if the entire arena was holding their breath while he skated. He was just perfect. Even though this was singles and not ice dance, it made Lily remember why she fell in love with figure skating in the first place. The smooth blend of athleticism and art; Hanyu made it look easy.

Lily cheered along with everyone else in the crowd. She just hoped that one day she would be able to create the energy that Hanyu had brought to the arena today.

There was still one person left to skate but it was already clear who had taken the short program once the score was announced.

"Oh, I should've brought my Russian flag," Lily said as the last skater, a Russian, took to the ice.

"Why do you have a Russian flag?" James asked, amused.

Lily shrugged. "After Team Great Britain, I'm Team Russia."

James seemed surprised.

"It's not a coincidence all the greatest female ice dancers of all time are Russian; Anissina, Grishchuk, Klimova, Bestemianova. Sans Tessa of course," Lily explained.

James smiled. "So should I just call you... Lilia Evansova now?"

Lily rolled her eyes but smiled. She slapped his arm playfully. "Shut up."

* * *

The most shocking thing that had happened so far during Lily's time in Boston was how relaxed she felt on the day of the Free Dance. She worked out with Melanie in the morning, then she had a pleasant lunch with her parents. Then she had one last practice with James where she completely ignored what all the other teams were doing, not to mention she was all-smiles with him.

Also shockingly, she didn't even feel sick to her stomach as she got ready. They were skating in the second to last group. With skaters that were a lot more experienced than them. In fact, Lily realised early on that she and James were actually the youngest skaters competing in the ice dance event. That kind of put into perspective how utterly amazing it would be to place in the top ten.

Melanie grinned as she finished with Lily's eyeliner. "Done."

Lily looked in the mirror. Her winged eyeliner was flawless. "Thank you, Mel." She hugged her friend.

"No problem. Good luck, babe."

Lily thanked her again before setting off to find James.

He was ready to walk out to the ice for the warmup in his long-sleeved white shirt and perfectly tousled hair. His entire face brightened when he spotted her. "Lily! You look... perfect."

Lily smiled. "So do you."

He took her hand. "How are you feeling?"

"Uh, surprisingly calm."

"That's good. We're as ready as we can be. Nothing left to do but leave it all out there in the ice." He leaned down to kiss Lily's cheek, just an inch off from her lips. He snuck a glance down at her deep red lips. "Wouldn't want to ruin your lipstick."

Lily glanced around them to the empty hallway. She smiled and very quickly tilted her head up to meet James's lips with her own in a sneaky kiss. She laughed quietly into her hand as she realised that she had in fact, left some red lipstick residue on James's lips. "Oh shoot."

She licked her thumb and rubbed at the red on his mouth.

"Lily, if you want to share spit with me, we can just do that again."

Lily shushed him. "Shut up. There." She told herself she really had to stop doing that.

Soon enough, everyone else in their group was ready and they were being let out onto the ice for their five-minute warmup.

As she saw the packed arena, Lily started feeling some of those nerves creeping up on her. They had been on the first group for the short program, and it hadn't been even half this packed. They were introduced and all too soon they were going through their warmup drill.

They finished a set of twizzles near the short end of the rink and Lily noticed something in the audience. She had to do a double-take because she seriously could not believe it. "Oh my god, is that... ?"

It was their friends from Estonia, the Simms. Mrs Simms had brought a small knitted banner with Lily and James's names on it in colourful letters. It was hands down the cutest thing she'd ever seen.

James had noticed it too. "Yeah, I almost forgot. Mrs Simms emailed me to tell me their son was driving them here from New Hampshire for the Free Dance."

Lily smiled. "That's so nice." She was glad to know they had at least one fan in the arena that wasn't related to them.

"You good?" James asked as they got off the ice. He'd obviously noticed she was getting anxious.

Lily nodded. They moved back to the off-ice warmup area to await their turn.

James squeezed Lily's hand as the moment drew nearer. "Lily, you're the best ice dancer I know, everything will be okay."

Lily rolled her shoulders. " _You're_ the best ice dancer _I_ know."

James smiled. He took a step and wrapped her up in his arms. Lily leaned her head on his chest. His heartbeat was a lot steadier than hers. "Either way, I love you and I'm proud of you no matter what happens."

Lily blushed. She was finally feeling like she could breathe again. James kissed the top of her head and let go. Lily wished he wouldn't, but they were being called to the ice.

Minerva gave them some words of encouragement before sending them off.

"Let's go get them, kiddo." James took her hand.

"They represent Great Britain. Please welcome now, Lily Evans and James Potter."

James gave Lily's hand one last squeeze before they took their starting positions.

The music started and Lily felt it to her bones. Marina had given them this program because they were both very passionate people. At the beginning of the season, their relationship had been intense in all the wrong ways, so it had seemed fitting to have a program that kind of looked like they were fighting each other. Things had changed now though. They weren't fighting each other anymore, they were fighting _together_. That intensity was still there, it had just evolved.

They skated their little hearts out. Lily was thankful for how much the audience seemed to be with them. She fed off their energy. She was definitely aware of the technical side of the program but she also let herself get lost in the performance. They were in sync with each other naturally now, and they could focus on attuning every one of their movements to the musical accents.

She wanted to scream in joy as they got through the last element. James held onto her wrist as she bent down for their ending pose. She could have cried.

James let out a victorious yell that was almost drowned out by the roar of the crowd cheering for them. He pulled her up and squeezed her into the tightest hug, lifting her off her feet and spinning her around. Lily grinned at him as he let go. He kissed the top of her head and whispered, "that was fucking amazing, Lily."

They took their bows and turned to leave the ice when Lily spotted Mrs Simms on her feet, waving her little banner. Lily waved animatedly at her.

They got off the ice to kisses and hugs from their coaches and choreographer. Lily felt like she'd burst from how happy she was.

Lily and James sat on the Kiss & Cry in between Minerva and Marina and Lily found that she didn't even care if the score wasn't that great, that performance was enough. Okay, she _did_ care a little bit.

Lily took James's hand before the announcer spoke up. "The scores please for Lily Evans and James Potter of Great Britain. Their free dance score... 107.60 points, which is a season's best. Their total competition score... 175.63 points, they are currently in second place."

Lily let out an involuntary squeal. That was almost ten points higher than their previous best! And they were second! With six left. They'd be at least eighth. She wrapped her arms around James's neck. He kissed the side of her face at least ten times. They hugged Minerva and Marina, who were also over the moon.

They left the Kiss & Cry and headed to the green room to sit and wait. Lily was almost in tears.

They watched the last group in silence. Now that it was all pretty much over, Lily felt the exhaustion creeping in. She leaned her head on James's shoulder. God, she was tired.

Lily wasn't particularly into any of the teams skating in the last group, so time dragged by. Nothing particularly shocking happened, as expected with ice dance, and then it was over. Just like that. Lily had been stressing about this event for months and months and now it was done with and she had no idea what to do.

They ended up seventh. She gladly took it. Seventh at your first Worlds was a great result. Tessa and Scott themselves had been sixth at their own first Worlds. With ice dance, it was always the long haul. Lily found that she didn't mind. She'd get to skate with James for a long time.

It was pretty late when they got back to the hotel. All Lily wanted to do was sleep for the next twenty-four hours.

James had his arm around her shoulders as he led her to the lifts so she could finally crash.

A voice came from down the hallway. "This isn't the end of this, Evans."

Lily looked at the lift doors only a few metres away. Ugh so close. But of course, there was no rest for the wicked. "Just leave us alone, John."

"I don't know what you have over those judges or what James's parents might have paid them but you can rest assured that this will not be the end of it."

James sighed. "John, man, we beat you fair and square, everyone knows it, and you can die mad about it for all I care."

Lily didn't want to admit it but she liked this side of James.

John's face was contorted in anger. "Actually, you _should_ enjoy this. Because you won't be at the top for long."

Lily didn't like the look on his face. And she didn't like how easily he stood down and just left them alone.

In all truth, Lily hadn't thought of John pretty much all day. He and Tala had been in the group before theirs and had ended up in thirteenth place (which was a little high if you asked Lily), so they hadn't really crossed paths.

Lily frowned. "I feel like he's up to something."

James rubbed his temples. "Well, the season's over, so whatever it is, we probably won't have to deal with it for at least a few months."

Lily took this small comfort.

* * *

Lily was thankful that their event had been the first one to end because for the next two days she could just go watch everyone else stress-free.

She currently sat between James and Melanie, waiting for the ice to be resurfaced for the last two groups of ladies to skate. James was talking in rapid-fire Spanish to Javier Fernández who sat on his other side. She had talked to him for a little bit too. Now she took her phone out of her pocket and checked her texts.

Mary had sent her approximately twenty thousand texts for the past two days. She had been incredibly happy for them and their seventh-place finish. Lily wished she were there. Then things would really be perfect. She had a few other texts from friends and family congratulating her on her performance.

She found it curious that she had about ten texts from Alena. First, Alena had congratulated Lily, then there were some very cryptic texts saying that there was something urgent she had to say to Lily. Then three voice messages. Almost ten minutes long combined.

It was noisy in the arena and Lily was very curious as to what Alena had to say, so she excused herself to the bathroom and walked off to a quieter spot.

She clicked on the messages.

"So, the day after your free dance, I was at the rink and after our session was over, we were talking about the event and I mentioned how well you and James had done, especially in comparison to Tala and John, and how it proved how bullshit it had been for your scores to be so close at Nats. Since some people in our group continue to insist on holding on to the stupid rivalry between our groups, most were hesitant on agreeing with me. But Narcissa did – she's back, by the way, sans Evan – and she mentioned what we all know about how John's dad has donated a lot of money to the British Fed, but then she said something that I found _very_ interesting.

"She said that if people even knew half the things John's done to sabotage you and James, he'd be banned from the sport for life. Which... well, is a serious accusation. So, I cornered her before she left the rink and I forced her to tell me exactly what she meant by this. And she had some very interesting things to say."

Lily's heart raced. Of course, she knew John had it out for them but she could not believe Narcissa of all people had admitted it.

"So, you know Narcissa and Tala are friends because they used to skate in the same group when they were younger, and back when Narcissa and Evan withdrew from Worlds, Tala went to see Narcissa to check on her. Obviously, Tala also wanted to know what was Narcissa and Evan's situation so she could go gossip about it with her rink mates, which pissed off Narcissa. Either way, they ended up getting into a fight. A fight where Tala ended up confessing to Narcissa that John had, in fact, tampered with James's skates at the MNNT Cup."

Lily let out a small gasp.

"Of course, Tala will probably deny it if asked about it. Narcissa knew this perfectly well. And she claims she did it for herself because when she comes back, she can't have competition who will go to these lengths to sabotage other teams, but I don't know... anyway, she recorded some of her conversation with Tala, and let me just say that it's pretty incriminating towards John. Narcissa was saving the recording for leverage, but I made her show it to me and I'm sending it to you now."

That was the last voice message before a video file Alena had sent. Lily's hands were sweaty as she clicked play.

The screen was black. Obviously, the phone the video was recorded on was in someone's pocket or in some sort of hiding place.

Lily recognised Tala's voice. "It's not a fucking crime to want to win, Narcissa. I wouldn't expect _you_ to understand since you withdrew from _Worlds_ for what clearly seems like no reason."

Narcissa's voice was venomous. "Do not presume you know what's going on in my life, Tala. I understand wanting to win but even I wouldn't deliberately try to _seriously injure_ my rivals to take them out. You're fucking pathetic, Tala."

"Will you shut up about that? No one was meant to get hurt."

Narcissa scoffed. "Well, if I loosened John's blades and he tried to skate a full program like that, including lifting you while on a deep outside edge... I'd say that's a pretty sure-fire way to get someone hurt."

"Why are you even defending them, Narcissa? I thought you hated everyone from McGonagall's group."

"I wouldn't say we're the best of friends, but I don't think that they deserve to get sabotaged to the point of injury just because _Johnny's_ upset Lily's doing much better than him after _he_ decided to drop her in the middle of last season."

Tala was really fuming now. "Whatever Narcissa. Besides, it wasn't like _I_ was the one who took the screwdriver and loosened the screws in Potter's skates, it was John."

"But you sure as hell didn't do anything about it, did you?" The image moved, Narcissa had grabbed her phone. Lily caught a glimpse of Tala standing in the living room of what she assumed was Narcissa's house, her face was scrunched up in anger. "Will you just get the fuck out of my house, Tala?"

Then the video stopped.

Lily looked at the time stamp on the texts. Alena had sent them hours ago. Lily couldn't believe this bomb had just been dropped on her like that. She never thought she would be involved in this level of drama. This was some 90s Russian ice dance drama shit.

She felt a touch on her arm. It was James. "Lily? Are you okay? It's already started."

Lily took a breath and nodded. She put her phone away. She really wanted to tell James everything immediately but she was having such a nice time, she didn't want John to ruin something else for her. She'd tell James later. She wanted to watch the ladies event peacefully. She _would_ deal with this, but she'd be damned if she let herself stress too much over it now. She smiled at James. "I'm great. Let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one more chapter left + the epilogue !!


	22. I Think You Know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Oh my god !!! I just got super emotional writing these last two chapters, it took me longer than I'd thought bc I wasn't entirely sure what would be the right way to end it. But I'm pretty pleased with the result.
> 
> I've really enjoyed writing this story and reading everyone's nice comments has genuinely made me so so happy, you have no idea how thankful I am. I'm going to miss y'all so much !!
> 
> Anyway, I leave you with one last figure skating video, which would be Lily and James's free dance for the following season to River by Bishop Briggs.

([video](https://youtu.be/d5Npfq-EHic))

* * *

With the off-season underway, Lily found that she actually kind of missed competing. Sure, it was stressful, but she weirdly liked it. Now it would be about five or six months until they competed again. She and James hadn't talked about it but she already had several ideas for their new programs.

She had ended up telling him about Tala and the video on the plane ride back home. They had agreed to tell Minerva once in London so that they could report John to the proper authorities.

Once they had told her, Minerva had been outraged. She had immediately called the president of the British Skating federation himself directly to report the incident.

Lily hadn't exactly imagined that not even a week after returning from Worlds, she would be sitting in a stuffy room next to Minerva's office laying out the details of the incident at the MNNT Cup to officials from the British Fed, but she wasn't going to complain if it meant John getting what he deserved.

This was actually the first time Lily went to the rink since returning home. She had been absolutely drained after Worlds and had mainly just rested and hung out with her family for the past days.

Lily let James do most of the talking, only contributing here and there and when asked a question directly. He talked about John's previous threatening comments and the competition itself and then stuff he'd said after that.

"Do you know yet what his sanction will be?" Lily asked as the two women wrapped up their questions.

"That remains to be seen, but it will probably be no less than a five-year ban from all activities organised or approved by British Ice Skating. We are also reporting this to the ISU, and I imagine there will be a sanction from them as well," one of them — Ms Brown — replied.

Lily knew it wasn't very sportsmanlike to be happy a competitor would be banned from events but she'd argue it was even more unsportsmanlike to _loosen a competitor's blades during a competition_. So she was allowing herself to be glad about this outcome. She nodded. "Okay."

Lily and James showed the officials out and James offered to drive Lily home as the rink was pretty empty, almost everyone taking well-deserved breaks after a long season.

"Actually, why don't we go take a walk by the lake?" Lily surprised herself by suggesting.

James agreed and they set off to the lake. They walked slowly, Lily holding on to James's arm. This was probably the most relaxed she had felt in a long time.

"So... have you thought about next season?" James asked after a few minutes of silence.

"You mean like, programs?"

"Partly... but also, we've only spoken about this in passing but I just want you to know, seriously, I want to skate with you for however long you want to skate with me."

Lily smiled. "So... two Olympics? Three?"

"I'll go to ten Olympics with you if you wanted me to."

Lily chuckled. "Ten? So... you want us to skate together when we're in our fifties?"

"I can stay limber for you."

Lily laughed. "Well... I'd like to attend at least two Olympics, but I think it'll all depend on our results and our health. The only thing I know for sure is that I only want to skate with you."

James smiled so brightly, Lily felt herself almost actually swoon.

They stopped next to the lake, quiet for a moment.

Then James sighed deeply. "Also... and this is unbelievably hard for me to say out loud, but... I think that... it might not be the best idea for us to... kiss and stuff if we're not going to be together. I think in the long-run, that might make things complicated for us. I've... been thinking about this a lot and it would probably be best for the both of us to try to move forward... live our lives as exclusively platonic dance partners."

Lily felt her chest tighten. Logically, she knew that he was right, and he was very much within his right to ask that of her but god if her heart didn't break at the thought of letting him go. Because who knew what path their lives would take them on, it was impossible to tell if they could actually be together years from now.

She felt her eyes brim with tears but she tried her best to smile. She nodded. "Of course. Yeah, you're right."

She wanted nothing but to scream, "NO, I WANT TO BE WITH YOU AND KISS YOU EVERY DAY."

But she didn't. And then the moment passed. And they headed back to the palace and he drove her home. And as she sat in the passenger's seat of James's car, she couldn't help but feel like this moment was an ending. It was ironic, really, that their career was just taking off, but their opportunity to be together was closing.

James parked his car and they sat there in silence for a few minutes.

Lily opened the car door. If she stayed in there another second she might never leave. "I guess I'll see you when in a couple of weeks then." She smiled but didn't look at him.

James would be leaving the next day to spend a few weeks in Chile with his grandparents.

James nodded and Lily exited the car. James's words rang in her ears. She had just agreed to try to move on as strictly platonic partners but if her brain screamed at her that that was the right decision, then why did she feel so fucking awful about it? She shut the car door and took a breath.

Petunia was walking out of the kitchen when Lily walked into the house.

"Oh. Hi," Petunia said simply.

"Hey," Lily replied. She hoped her emotions weren't showing too obviously on her face.

Petunia nodded awkwardly and went off upstairs.

Huh. That was actually not so bad for being Petunia. Lily would even call it _progress._

It had been a new development. After Worlds, Petunia had sent a congratulatory text to Lily, who had momentarily thought her phone had been hacked. She would've liked to think her performance had moved her sister to the level of reconsidering their one-sided feud. But it was probably something else. Whatever it was, Petunia had been a lot more tolerable lately, which Lily thought was a step in the right direction.

Lily walked slowly up the stairs.

She turned the TV on in an attempt to stop thinking about James and it worked for a while.

Until about two hours later, when she laid in bed crying into her pillow, her phone thrown discarded across the room, TV forgotten.

She didn't even notice the door opening until she felt the bed shift and a hand with on her shoulder.

She turned to see Mary sitting there. Worry on her face. "What's wrong, babe?"

"How are you here?"

"Your mum thought from your nonsensical grumbling that this was about a boy, so she called me."

Lily huffed. She wiped her face. "It's really stupid... I don't even know why I'm like this. I just... I was curious about his grandparents' farm in Chile and I went on his Instagram to see if he had any pictures of it," she took a hiccupping breath, feeling extremely ridiculous with this story. "And I found some old ones... but – but the point is that he's going to go to Chile he'll realise his childhood friend from his village is actually really pretty and funny and since we're trying to... _move on_ ," she spat out the words, "he'll think _oh maybe I should give it a chance with Paloma_ and he'll realise he's always been in love with her during these two weeks he'll be isolated from society with her and they'll get into a long-distance relationship and then he'll move to Chile with her and they'll have a dozen babies and live on his family's farm –"

"Lily!" Mary cut her off. "What _the_ _fuck_ are you talking about?"

Lily sniffled. Her cheeks went warm. She sounded like a crazy person. She asked Mary to get her cell phone from the floor and showed her the Instagram rabbit hole she'd gone down into.

Lily hadn't thought much of the picture she'd found at first. It was a few years old and a group shot with James, _the girl_ and two other boys. Naturally, Lily had checked the profiles of everyone tagged. The only public one had been the girl's – Paloma's. Lily couldn't quite tell what this girl's connection to James's family was – because she was pretty sure she wasn't related to them – but she did decipher that she and James always spent time together when he was in Chile. He featured quite a few times on her story highlights and they seemed to always be laughing about something or other. Lily had never wished she knew Spanish more than at that moment because she had no fucking idea what they were saying on some clips.

As Lily finished relaying all of this onto Mary, her friend got a strange look on her face.

Mary took Lily by the shoulders and shook her. "What the hell, Lily!"

"Why are you shaking me?"

"Because you're being extremely dumb right now!"

Lily frowned. "Says the girl who wouldn't leave the house for a week when Julian posted a picture with _his cousin_."

Mary rolled her eyes. "That was very different, Lillian! Because He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named didn't actually want to be with me. James would literally chop off his arm to be with you! You're suffering in a cage of your own making."

Lily's frown deepened. Yeah, technically Mary was right but she wasn't about to admit that. "It was a _mutual decision_ to focus on our professional relationship and not on a romantic one!"

Mary sighed. "Lily. You do realise that if you were together, things would be pretty much exactly the same since you already spend every waking moment together, just with more kissing and shit."

"What if we break up?"

"Are you planning on breaking up with him?"

"No! The whole point of this is that I don't want to lose him!"

"Lily. Aren't you the one who's always saying that it's better to have no career at all than putting up with anyone treating you like shit?"

Mary waited for a response, so Lily nodded.

"Well, it seems to me that you're currently treating _yourself_ like shit, breaking your own heart for the sake of your career."

Lily groaned and hugged her legs to her chest. "Ughhh, Mary."

Mary seemed satisfied with herself. "It seems to me that denying yourself happiness is certainly not worth any medals."

When had Mary become so wise? Shit, that seemed like something that Lily herself would say to one of her friends. Lily chuckled. "Why do I feel like we've switched bodies for a minute there?"

Mary smiled. "See? I've learned a thing or two from your best friend empowerment monologues... and I think you're running out of excuses now."

Lily exhaled sharply. "It's... it's too late now anyway, Mary. I had every chance to change my mind and I didn't. Now he's leaving and... well, I've already told you what's going to happen."

"He's leaving for _two weeks_ , Lily. And he hasn't so much as _looked_ at another girl in years, I doubt he'll start that easily."

Lily shook her head. "I'd feel like an asshole if I changed my mind now."

Mary grinned. "You have a way with words. I'm sure you'll manage." She stood up.

"What are you doing?"

Mary held out her hand. "We're going to go get James back. Before you can change your mind."

"What, right now?"

Mary nodded. "Yeah, we have to catch him before he leaves for Chile! You know full well what's going to happen if he goes, he'll fall for that other skank!"

Lily's mouth dropped open in surprise. "You _just_ told me I was crazy to think that!"

"And now I'm changing my mind. So, we have to catch him!"

"It's late."

"Who cares, Lily? This is in the name of love!" Mary got tired of waiting for Lily to get up and dragged her out of bed.

"No! At least let me change, Mary!" Lily tried to argue.

"No, this I'm-a-mess-without-you look is great, let's go."

So, that's how Lily ended up in the Tube at eleven o'clock at night in sweatpants and an oversized hoodie, trying to do something so that her hair wouldn't look so much like a rat's nest. "This is a terrible idea, Mary."

Mary paid Lily no mind. "It'll be romantic going to catch him before he leaves! And this way you won't be able to talk yourself out of it in a couple of weeks."

"And if I promise I'll do this in two weeks? Because it's going to be so embarrassing for me to just show up to his house like this."

"No, this makes it more genuine! It'll be points in your favour! Have you thought about what you're going to say to him?"

Lily scowled. "Not really."

All too soon, they were arriving at James's house and Lily felt feint. The last time she'd told him how she felt had been just to immediately break his heart afterwards.

Before Lily could stop her, Mary had walked up the front door and rang the doorbell. James's parents seemed obviously quite surprised to see them, but they acted graciously about it. They let them in and Lily was kind of scared to leave Mary with the Potters downstairs but Mrs Potter had quickly told her she could head on up.

James's door was ajar. It was quiet on the other side. She took a few seconds to gather herself. She knocked with shaking hands.

She heard some rustling and then James said something in Spanish that Lily didn't understand. He opened the door, eyebrows going up at finding her at the other side. "Lily. What are you doing here?"

He had on the black-rimmed glasses that he so rarely wore. Lily liked how he looked with them.

She brushed her hair behind her ear. "Um... there was... something I wanted to tell you before you left for Chile."

James nodded. He motioned for her to come in. His room was messy with clothes everywhere. A suitcase open on the floor. He sat on the edge of his bed. "Are you okay?"

Lily frowned. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"You just seem kind of... your eyes are red."

"Oh, it's... nothing."

James nodded. "What did you want to tell me then?"

Lily took a deep breath. She had to do this. Now. "After you dropped me off at home... I started feeling... really bad."

James frowned and looked her over as if checking for injuries.

"I... kept thinking about our conversation at the lake earlier and... I realised that I don't really want us to move forward with our lives as _exclusively platonic partners._ "

James paled. He cleared his throat. "You mean... you mean you don't want to skate with me anymore?" He stood up.

Lily's eyes widened. "No! No, that's not what I meant, I'm sorry."

James sighed deeply. "God, Lily, way to give a man a heart attack."

Lily kicked herself mentally. She was _not_ phrasing this right. "What I meant was that... I want to skate with you... but I want more."

James seemed wary. "You... want to be friends with benefits?"

Lily cringed at herself. "No, no. I..." she braced herself. "I feel like a dick for saying this now, after all I've put you through, and I'm sorry and, honestly, I'll get it if you say no but I just had to tell you... that I've changed my mind. I don't want to move on... I want _this_."

There was a glint in James's eyes and the slightest hint of a smile. "I still don't quite get what is it that you want, Lily."

Lily raised a brow. "I think you know."

"Mm, not quite."

Lily took a breath. She felt calmer now. "I... I want _you_ , James Potter. I want your kisses and your sweet words and I want to make you smile and I want to hold your hand every day."

"But you already hold my hand every day, Lils," James put in.

"Will you let me finish?"

James relented.

"I know that I already hold your hand every day and if it's too late for me now, I'd settle just for that, but... I want you _all_ to myself. I... I'm sorry it took me so long, but I've realised that I was not only hurting you but I was hurting myself by denying you and for what? I _know_ our career will survive because if we break up or we don't, I'll still love you. I'll always love you, and I think that'll be enough. And it's because I love you that I'll stay, when it's hard or when we make mistakes, I promise I'll fight tooth and nail for you. I know that we're young and things might change... but I think I'd rather try and fail than not try at all, because I really do love you, I love you so much it hurts."

Lily felt tears run down her cheeks, but they were very different tears to the ones she'd shed earlier.

James stood there with a serious look on his face. Then he took a few steps forward and crushed his lips onto Lily's. He held her waist in a death grip as he kissed her, Lily felt weak in the knees. It was a desperate kiss, all teeth and tongue and held breath. She pulled away from him. "So... is that your answer?"

He threw his head back laughing. "At this point, I would've thought you had realised I'd do anything you asked me to, Lily Evans. I didn't think it was possible to love another human being this much, but I love you so goddamned much, Lily. I'll be with you for as long as you'll have me, whether it be a month or a year or our whole lives. Hell, you could dump me after you use me to get that Olympic gold and I'd probably thank you."

Lily slapped his arm, not being able to contain a smile. "Don't say that! You _can_ be angry with me for turning you away so many times before, you know."

"Nah. For this, all those nos were one hundred per cent worth it."

"Shut up and kiss me, Potter."

"Not before you tell me what made you change your mind."

Lily looked away embarrassed. She'd almost forgotten about her dumb outburst from earlier. "Well... I was just talking to Mary after..." she sighed, "you'll probably never let this go, but I... semi-stalked a friend of yours from Chile on Instagram and I just started to think about how you'd go to Chile and you'd be trying to forget about me and all the girls there probably wanted you. And that girl was so pretty, even I fell a little in love with her looking at her profile... and it made me really upset and then Mary talked to me and told me this was all my own fault... so, yeah."

James laughed. "You mean my friend Paloma?"

Lily nodded.

"Well, first of all, Lily, it's not that easy to get over you, I thought I had proven that already. Still... I am extremely flattered you were jealous of Paloma, and you're right I'll probably never let this go because I never thought this would happen, I'm actually not entirely sure I'm not dreaming right now. Lastly, my friend Paloma is like a sister to me, that would be gross, not to mention... I kinda don't want to tell you this, but she's very much a lesbian, and I sincerely hope you're not considering leaving me for her right now, Evans."

Lily raised a brow. "Well... maybe just a little bit."

James put his hand over his heart, pretending to be hurt. "Maybe this will change your mind."

Then he kissed her. Hard. Most of the kisses they had shared before had been quite chaste. But not this one. He kissed her like he loved her. He pulled her so close to him it was as if he wanted to meld their bodies together. His hands found their way under her thighs and he lifted her up so she could wrap her legs around his waist. James's mouth was hot on hers, it felt like he was kissing her for all the years he'd waited to do it.

They made their way to the bed and stopped only so Lily could lift James's shirt over his head. His abs were glorious as always but this was the first time Lily let herself just _look_ unabashedly. She ran her hands down his tanned chest, heart racing. Then she made a split-second decision and removed her own shirt.

James was clearly caught off guard, but he smiled at her. " _You_... are so fucking beautiful, Lily Evans."

She giggled and pulled him down to her. His hands on her bare torso made her feel like she was about to burst into flames. She flipped them over so she could lay on top of him, with his body between her legs. James's kiss started travelling down her neck when there was a loud knock on the door.

They froze in place. Lily got off him and searched for her shirt.

"Guys! I don't think I can stall James's parents much longer!"

It was Mary. Lily exhaled in relief.

She put her shirt on.

"Is that... Mary?" James asked.

Lily was still breathing a little heavily. "Oh, yeah, she's here."

"Tell her to stall longer, whatever she has to do."

Lily smiled and went to the door.

Mary grinned at Lily's dishevelled state. "I think Mrs Potter wants to get him to finish packing. It's past midnight, I didn't think James would last _that_ long."

Lily's eyes widened when she realised what her friend meant. "Mary!"

Mary shrugged. "Well, what have you been doing in there for almost an hour?"

"We... talked for a while, but we didn't..."

"Well, if it's not happening tonight we should get going soon. Partly because Mrs Potter is very close to coming up here to stop you from defiling her baby and partly because I need you to tell me literally everything right now."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be right down."

Lily walked back into the room. James was where she'd left him but his eyes were closed. He'd fallen asleep. Lily couldn't help but smile. He looked so peaceful, she wouldn't mind waking up next to that every day.

She went to grab her shoes but the movement awoke James.

"Oh god, Lily! I'm sorry," he rubbed his eyes. "Sirius took me on this extreme workout earlier so I'd stop moping about you, or at least that's what he said. So, I'm a little tired."

She sat at the edge of the bed. "It's okay. I should leave or my parents will worry."

James nodded. "I can take you guys home."

"It's okay, Melanie said she'd come get us."

"Alright." He took her hand.

"I'll see you in a couple of weeks. Have a safe trip."

He smiled. "I kind of don't want to leave now."

"We'll have all the time in the world when you get back."

He grinned. "It's going to be a fun off-season. C'mere."

He pulled her down to him and gave her one last long, sweet kiss. Not in a hurry this time, not desperate or sad; just a honey-sweet kiss, it felt like the first of many. After all, they had all the time in the world.


	23. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I just made myself cry by watching the 1994 oly pairs victory ceremony, then the 2010 oly ice dance ceremony immediately followed by the 2018 one, but what else is new.
> 
> This has been fun, pls lmk if you've enjoyed this story at all, it would mean a lot to me !!

Ten Years Later

Lily shivered as the cold from the ice hit her bare arms. James noticed and rubbed her arms up and down to warm her up. She smiled up at him.

She approached the boards and removed her guards as she heard the names start being called.

Then she finally heard those sweet words. It sounded more and more beautiful in each language. French, English, Italian. "Gold medallists and Olympic champions. Representing Great Britain, Lily Evans and James Potter!"

She couldn't help the huge smile that overtook her face.

They stepped out onto the ice to the cheering crowd and bowed as their free dance music — Danse Macabre — played. Lily didn't think she'd ever felt quite this good. Well, she could think of one time...

They approached the podium and Lily thought she wouldn't feel as childishly excited as the first time but her stomach filled with butterflies and it felt just like four years ago. It did feel different though, that was for sure, because this time they knew it would be the last.

They went to congratulate the bronze medallists. There was no one Lily would've rather share the podium with. She couldn't wait to see that little girl she once knew step onto the top of the podium soon.

"I'm glad that if I lost, at least it was to you," Alena said as Lily hugged her.

Lily laughed. "You'll be up there soon. You're still a baby."

Alena groaned but she smiled.

Then they congratulated the silver medallists, a Canadian pair a little younger than Lily and James that they were friendly with.

James stepped onto the podium first. Lily could've very easily climbed up the half-metre step herself but she let him lift her up to it.

Lily took a deep breath as they waited their turn to get their medals. It had taken her so much to get here. She'd suffered and fought and clawed and worked her ass off, skating had taken her through paths she never thought she'd take, but she was grateful for all of it as she stood on that podium with James's arm around her.

The gold medals went around their necks and the national anthem played. Lily felt like she could breathe for the first time in over a year. Two seasons ago she had been doubtful they'd even make it to the Games. She would've been okay if things had turned out that way, she had learned at that point that there was more to life than skating. But they had still felt like they had more left to give to the sport, so they had made the decision to attend another Olympic Games, and it had been tough and trying and even frightening, but they had made it.

The anthem ended and James pulled Lily close. "I'm so proud of you," he whispered and kissed the side of her head.

Lily wiped a tear from her eye.

They smiled for pictures and then finally stepped off the podium for their very last victory lap.

They waved at the crowd and took it all in before exiting the ice.

And there, on the first row in the stands, was the little person she adored more than anything in the world. He sat on Mrs Potter's lap with a smile on his little face.

Lily approached as close as she could and Mrs Potter stood so Lily could take her son in her arms.

"Mumma!" Harry shouted.

Lily kissed the top of his head and held him close. James bent down and kissed Harry too.

Harry noticed the gold medal hanging from James's neck and immediately went to grab it. "You won!"

James got a goofy smile on his face as he looked at his wife and kid.

Lily decided that ultimately, the medal wasn't what mattered, it was being here with her boys. Tomorrow she would go with them to the Italian countryside and take a nice walk, maybe she'd tell James about the good news growing inside of her at this very moment... She had her family and they were happy, that was what mattered.


End file.
